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March 13, 2010

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes...

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.


Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,


"What's for dinner, Zorro?"

Thanks to Fausta.

Posted by Cassandra at March 13, 2010 12:16 PM

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Comments

"What's for dinner, Zorro?"

It was the stilettos. He mistook them for a rapier and a parrying dagger.

Posted by: BillT at March 13, 2010 02:20 PM

Nah. It was the mask.

Posted by: Cricket at March 13, 2010 03:26 PM

The last time my wife tried that It wasn't me at the door as I had to work late. The UPS guy was pleasantly surprised which coined the phrase; "What can Brown do for you?" He ate the brownie off the proffered plate though!

Apparently it is difficult to sign the electronic signature machine wearing a mask...

Posted by: vet66 at March 13, 2010 03:59 PM

Okay, it was two things -- the stilettos and the mask.

Wait. That's three things.

Okay, it was three things -- the stilettos and the mask. And Mistress Mandy's whip.

Four. It was four things -- the stilettos, the mask, and Mistress Mandy's whip. And the egg salad.

Okay, okay -- it was *five* thi

*whap*

Yes, dear.

Posted by: BillT at March 13, 2010 04:02 PM

Hm...wonder if that will leave a mark...Z!

Posted by: Cricket at March 13, 2010 04:46 PM

Men. Dress up like a steak and they'll ask you where's the A1 sauce. Dress up like a turnip and they'll ask you where's the A1 sauce. But just dress up like A1 sauce and see if they don't start asking for your expiration date.

Posted by: Mrs. * at March 13, 2010 05:28 PM

Seriously, you girls.

I heard the echo of my laugh from way over there. Saw it coming and ducked.

Now, about that traveling seal with a car breakdown. I think you'd like it but I've been wrong before. It is one of the two jokes I know and neither one can be repeated in polite company (outside family and one can only get away the one and not the other.) Last week, told one to the general after much wine and port. Left the seal in reserve.

Posted by: Curt at March 14, 2010 05:56 AM

It's a traveling penguin and no GO would believe he'd be eating ice cream in this weather, anyway.

Posted by: BillT at March 14, 2010 07:37 AM

"What's for dinner?" is not a bad question for a husband to ask in this situation (Calling her "Zorro" would indicate that he has less than ten years marriage experience though). Walking in before he recieved an answer is another indication of inexperience. If the wife answers "Me", then the husband didn't forget about the costume party that she had reminded him of ten times that day. Otherwise he lost his main escape route and will have to go for the window. (I've been happily married for 26 years and still mis-read my wife all the time. But I can run faster than her and in a tough spot keep a clear path to the door.)

Posted by: crazy mike at March 14, 2010 09:18 AM

I've been happily married for 26 years and still mis-read my wife all the time. But I can run faster than her and in a tough spot keep a clear path to the door.

I laughed out loud at that one :)

Posted by: Cassandra at March 14, 2010 04:07 PM

You have entertained (and educated me) for a little while now. Glad I could give you a laugh.

Posted by: crazy mike at March 15, 2010 05:40 AM

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