« Are Left/Right Wingers Prone to Violent Extremism? | Main | A Call for Spiritual Warfare »

April 01, 2010

Brilliant. Just Brilliant.

I have only one criticism: weren't those unicorns supposed to fart gold dust?

Posted by Cassandra at April 1, 2010 04:24 PM

Trackback Pings

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.villainouscompany.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/3598

Comments

I would have been a lot better without the stupid commercial at the end.

Speaking of which, stupid I mean, isn't there any way to get this IDIOT to shut up and go the way of Senator Whatshisname the men's room foot-tapper from the frozen north?

Posted by: spd rdr at April 1, 2010 04:58 PM

I could use a low-emission unicorn. The #@$% squirrels ate through my coolant line, putting my truck in the shop.

On the upside, I can now spend the weekend blasting every squirrel in a square mile with my shotgun. I'll have enough squirrel tails to line a coat.

Posted by: Grim at April 1, 2010 05:28 PM

Tell me about it, Grim. I planted pansies all over my yard and the *&^% nut buffaloes dug half of them up.

And just to really frost my cornflakes, BOTH my cars went on the fritz this weekend. $900 to fix the first one (which we own) and God knows how much to fix the second (which we don't). I'm hoping that's just a new battery or an alternator.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 1, 2010 06:41 PM

As for the Senior Senator from Massachusetts, there is so much stupid going around these days that he's beginning to look positively brilliant by comparison.

Dear Lord. I never thought I'd say that. We are so screwed :p

Posted by: Cassandra at April 1, 2010 06:42 PM

It's the rainbow unicorn *ponies* that fart gold dust.

Grim, don't use OO buck or there won't be enough tail left to dust the bead sight on a derringer...

Posted by: BillT at April 1, 2010 06:49 PM

I wish I could get rid of the squirrels around my house. They've ^*&^($&^ chewed a hole in my roof a second time but the police get kinda antsy when you disharge a firearm in a suburban neighborhood.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at April 1, 2010 06:50 PM

Assad on Sunday called on Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to ditch negotiations with Israel in favor of “armed resistance.”
Kerry, nonetheless, said in Damascus following a three-hour meeting with Assad that Syria was committed to engaging in peace-making...

Assad told him so during that swim up the Mekong into Cambodia in 1969...

Posted by: BillT at April 1, 2010 06:52 PM

...the police get kinda antsy when you discharge a firearm in a suburban neighborhood.

Crossbow with wadcutter tips on the bolts. Works like a champ.

Not that I've ever launched a bolt in a suburban neighborhood, of course.

*a-hem*

Posted by: BillT at April 1, 2010 07:02 PM

You can't say 'fart' in a campaign ad.

Yu-Ain, get a cat. They love squirrels. Get a female cat. Make sure she is spayed; you don't want teen pregnancies and a welfare mom to support. Female felines are outstanding hunters. They are also more likely to show you their results by dropping it on your face, or on your doorstep.

She might think you are a kitten who needs feeding.

The males are good hunters, but they like to play and sleep. The birds have stolen cat food right out of their dishes while they are lazing away on the porch.

Posted by: Cricket at April 1, 2010 08:43 PM

I'm using #8 shot. It cripples but does not reliably kill, to the joy of a certain dog (who has always wanted to catch a squirrel, but up until today has not been able to do so).

Posted by: Grim at April 1, 2010 09:13 PM

I'm wondering where they got the cajones to produce this little ditty. If only they did the same prior to 2006, actually fighting back.

Posted by: William Teach at April 1, 2010 09:32 PM

"...to the joy of a certain dog (who has always wanted to catch a squirrel, but up until today has not been able to do so)."

Somewhere up in Piddler's Green, Sadie, Mojo and Sausage smile.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at April 1, 2010 09:35 PM

Cats I got plenty of, claws not so much. :-(

If I could ever see more than just the evidence of their destruction, this would be handy. Though that's technically illegal to shoot as well (but only if you get caught).

So I'm left with (unsuccessful) trapping for now.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnanno at April 1, 2010 09:44 PM

Somewhere up in Piddler's Green, Sadie, Mojo and Sausage smile.

Amen, lady :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 1, 2010 09:47 PM

I'm wondering where they got the cajones to produce this little ditty. If only they did the same prior to 2006, actually fighting back.
Posted by: William Teach at April 1, 2010 09:32 PM

Señor: en realidad, es cojones para los huevos; cajones are drawers, or boxes.
(Which is a euphemism for another type of genitals. Just sayin')

Brilliant. Just Brilliant.

Agreed...

Posted by: camojack at April 2, 2010 03:42 AM

Though that's technically illegal to shoot as well (but only if you get caught).

Which is why I don't shoot the full-size crossbow that I don't have in the garage and don't use the wadcutter-tipped bolts that I don't have on the masonite board that's not secured to the garage wall.

First, because if I'm going to jail, I don't want it to be for using a *wimpy* little crossbow.

Second, because leaving the 'bow in the garage makes it easier for both my down-street neighbor (he's a cop, and has a key to my garage) and my bud Louie (who's sergeant in the State Police and who also has a key) to access it when *they* need it to eliminate tree rats.

And yes, I taught them safety and proper usage.

Posted by: BillT at April 2, 2010 05:37 AM

Ya know, fellas... it might not be as satisfying, but a BB gun, pumped up enough, will kill a squirrel just as dead and is completely legal to discharge.

Posted by: MikeD at April 2, 2010 09:28 AM

I love you guys :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 2, 2010 09:32 AM

Again, not in my neck of the (not so) woods. No projectiles, period. Not even a slingshot.

Memphis ain't part of the South. :-(

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at April 2, 2010 09:52 AM

So, I guess grenades are also off the table, huh?

Posted by: BillT at April 2, 2010 10:16 AM

Unlike SWWBO, the LG isn't as enamored with me leaving grenades next to the salt and pepper shakers.

Besides, explosives are for gophers.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at April 2, 2010 10:30 AM

That's not a gopher -- it's a beige marmoset in divot defilade...

Posted by: BillT at April 2, 2010 11:23 AM

"Brilliant. Just Brilliant." Ditto!

"Besides, explosives are for gophers."
Since we've drifted into testosterone territory, reporting my newly commissioned AF son got to assist in pyro-technics (fuel bladders/TNT charges) setup/discharge at Thunder Over Alabama Airshow last weekend at Maxwell AFB, Montgomery, Al. Ahhh...NOBEL heaven!

He's always been a tad manic in buying/igniting fireworks. He said he got a bigger charge out of being right under the "tree top" flying P-51s, B-17s, P-47s, C-47s, A-26s, and B-25s.

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2010/03/thunderbirds_dazzle_montgomery.html

Posted by: ziobuck at April 2, 2010 12:54 PM

"So, I guess grenades are also off the table, huh?"

Grenades are dangerous, Bill.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 2, 2010 04:43 PM

I should hope so, Ymar -- they'd be pretty useless in the anti-squirrel mode if they weren't...

Posted by: BillT at April 2, 2010 05:23 PM

What happened to you claymores?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 2, 2010 06:01 PM

What happened to you claymores?

I stole them because, apparently, I'm not strong enough to handle a firearm.


And I thought the unicorns were supposed to poop Skittles! Dammit!

Posted by: HomefrontSix at April 3, 2010 04:57 AM

No, HF6, unicorn poo only *looks* like skittl

Oh, Lowered. You *didn't*, did you?

Posted by: BillT at April 3, 2010 06:14 AM

Quick, get the clean up crew.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 3, 2010 02:48 PM

Bwahahaha! I guess I"m going to have to restock those Easter eggs...

Posted by: HomefrontSix at April 3, 2010 09:47 PM

Post a comment

To reduce comment spam, comments on older posts are put into moderation 5 days after the last activity. Comments with more than one link also go into moderation. If you don't see your comment after posting it, try refreshing the screen. If you still don't see it, your comment is probably in the moderation queue.




Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)