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April 07, 2010

Debate Question of the Day

Is this post serious, or tongue in cheek?

Posted by Cassandra at April 7, 2010 10:48 AM

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Comments

Methinks Dr. Missy has been imbibing upon the cooking sherry and lost track of the time-space continuum.

Note to Missy: April 1st has passed. Save this for next year and try again.

Regards,

kbob

Posted by: kbob in katy at April 7, 2010 11:27 AM

Her tongue's planted so firmly in her cheek it's displacing her eardrum.

Posted by: BillT at April 7, 2010 11:40 AM

If the post is serious I've been doing 9 out of 10 things listed wrong for quite a while and my wife seems happy most of the time, I think. I don't expect my wife to meet my "needs" (Number 4), she has always kept a smile on my face and a skip in my step on her own.

Posted by: crazy mike at April 7, 2010 11:58 AM

I got a real kick out of the comments. Especially the guy who re-wrote the rules from the perspective of a dog owner :p

Posted by: Cassandra at April 7, 2010 12:01 PM

Well, if you get "stuck" so to speak, in your relationship. THIS ESSENCE can help.

Posted by: Boquisucio at April 7, 2010 12:25 PM

What was the question again?

Heh. I am surprised she doesn't have a tongue sandwich.

Posted by: Cricket at April 7, 2010 12:37 PM

OK, Boq, that was disturbing :p

Posted by: Cassandra at April 7, 2010 01:02 PM

Not as disturbing as the "meat ship" they reference.

Posted by: Grim at April 7, 2010 01:03 PM

I didn't click any of the links. I'd seen the bacon bra and decided I didn't want to know about the meat ship.

I think this may be a sign that I'm getting old.

Posted by: Cassandra at April 7, 2010 01:05 PM

Let it be known, that this 'Rican DID NOT click on any of the "tid-bits" in reference, until egged-on by yous rubes. Oh and BTW - The "Meat Ship" is SFW. Only a effusive display of pork products are displayed.

Posted by: Boquisucio at April 7, 2010 01:23 PM

...this 'Rican DID NOT click on any of the "tid-bits" in reference, until egged-on by yous rubes.

Right. Like "I got a real kick out of the comments" is actually Spanglish for, "Booooooooooq. Click the liiiiiiiiink, Boq."

Posted by: BillT at April 7, 2010 01:39 PM

Tongue in cheek, but the worst part is... the underlying advice isn't AWFUL. Ok... numbers 9 and 10 are, but other than that, if the others are practiced IN MODERATION they can be good advice.

1) SOME mystery can be good. As long as you're not being dishonest.
2) Calling rarely can keep it special. Far too many people turn smothering when you give them a phone. I've seen that far more than not calling enough.
3) Retreating from ALL conflict is dumb. Picking your fights is smart. If he left the seat up, it's NOT time for World War III. If she squeezed the toothpaste from the middle, don't fly off the handle.
4) Don't EXPECT your spouse to meet your sexual needs, you don't have the right to EXPECT that of anyone. Meet THEIR needs and yours are soon to follow.
5) By all means, you are allowed to have interests apart from your spouse. If you don't, I wouldn't give your odds of staying together long term much of chance at all. A couple that does everything together is going to go a bit nuts. Sure it SOUNDS romantic. Right up until one of you is getting strangled.
6) Don't change - be you. This is supposed to be bad advice? Who the hell ELSE would you be? If your partner marries you expecting you to be someone else, then they married the wrong person. Try to improve yourself by all means. but to fundamentally change who you are? You're going to fail, and that will drive the person expecting you to change crazy because you're not this 'ideal' they have in their head.
7) Don't apologize... hmm. This one is tougher to justify. Don't apologize for things you didn't do. Don't take the blame for everything that goes wrong in your relationship, if you do... you'll start getting blamed for everything (whether it's your fault or not). That's human nature. So apologize for that which you have done, and really... you should only ever apologize if you're sincerely sorry. If not, you need to work out why you don't actually feel bad for doing whatever it was. Otherwise, there will be worse problems later.
8) Tokens of affection are fine. IF you offer them freely and of your own volition. If your partner expects them, you're on the highway to disaster.
9 & 10) Honestly, there's no good way to do these. If you and your spouse do not want to celebrate your anniversary, there's nothing wrong with that. But make DAMNED certain your spouse is being 100% truthful when they say they don't want to do anything. And if you no longer tell your partner you love them, expect the love to disappear. People need constant reminders of it. "She knows I love her" MAY be true. Make sure. Tell her.

Posted by: MikeD at April 7, 2010 03:12 PM

Aside from number 2 being a pretty decent idea, I'd say she's joking "a bit." The comments are also fun.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at April 7, 2010 03:43 PM

I’m here to help.

Isn't that a riff from what the FBI says.

I'm from the FBI, we're here to help.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at April 7, 2010 04:09 PM

I'm going with serious. I think she means it.

Some of them are okay, or partly okay, and some are total crap----for me and mine, and most relationships I've seen, but surprisingly also sound like relationships I know that actually have lasted 2 decades or more. Go figure.

There's contradictory parts too.(Marriage is about companionship, not sex, but, hey, cultiviate hobbies that don't need or include the sigoth.)

I tend to agree with 4. We place an over emphasis on the topic in Western Civ. Basically, I agree that divorcing someone because they're not great en-chaired is one of the stuuupedest things I can think of.

Not advice I'd follow or give out, but it'll work for many of the Silicon Valley types and Millenials I went to school(s) with. It's a weird world that takes all kinds, apparently, so I've been told.

Posted by: ry at April 7, 2010 04:13 PM

Huh.
First take: She wants guys to think that she understands them. She doesn't have a clue.
Second take: She actually is a guy. And she still doesn't have a clue.

Posted by: spd rdr at April 7, 2010 05:27 PM

"I was placed on this earth for one reason and one reason only, son. Do you know what that reason is?"
"No, sir."
"I was placed on this earth to make your mother happy. That's it. That's all of it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"And when your mother is happy, that means I will be happy too. Do you understand?"
"I thinks so, sir."
"But if your mother is unhappy, then I will be unhappy. And if I am unhappy, then everyone will be unhappy with me. You want to be happy, don't you?"
"Yes, sir. I do."
"Good. Now, do you know what makes your mother happy?"
"No, sir."
"Neither do I. But I know what makes your mother unhappy is when you won't wear the new clothes that she bought you."
"But Mom's stuff doesn't fit me!"
"Hmmmmm.... We'll have to discuss that another day, son. For right now, just have you happy little behind downstairs in five minutes wearing your own clothes, the new ones that your mother bought you."
"Yes, sir."
"And smile."
"Yes sir."
"I'm happier already."

Posted by: Drive-by Dad at April 7, 2010 06:00 PM

Why, oh why are all my friends such smart a$$es? :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 7, 2010 06:08 PM

Hey lady... I was being serious. :P

Posted by: MikeD at April 7, 2010 06:11 PM

OK... why, oh why is mr rdr such a smart a$$??? :)

Posted by: Cassandra at April 7, 2010 06:24 PM

It's seriously, tongue in cheek.

Posted by: Sadie at April 7, 2010 08:17 PM

What was the question again?
Heh. I am surprised she doesn't have a tongue sandwich.
Posted by: Cricket at April 7, 2010 12:37 PM

I actually did have some tongue in a sandwich once; it tasted like corned beef. Now THAT was seriously "tongue in cheek"...at least whilst I was chewing on it.

As for the linked post, it seemed like an April Fool post that was a day late. And a dollar short?

Posted by: camojack at April 8, 2010 01:20 AM

OK... why, oh why is mr rdr such a smart a$$??? :)

He has to pick up the slack when I'm not around.

Just like I have to when *he* isn't around.

You've never found it odd that no one has ever seen the two of us in the same picture?

Posted by: BillT at April 8, 2010 02:39 AM

OK... why, oh why is mr rdr such a smart a$$??? :)

Better a smart a$$ than a dumb one?

Posted by: MikeD at April 8, 2010 11:19 AM

I don't read her at all, so I don't have any context for her usual "style". If she's serious, I'm appalled. So much of what she suggests with those 10 points is lacking in simple common courtesy. The whole "do unto others" bit. But, some people tell me I don't have much of a sense of humor, so maybe I just missed it...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at April 8, 2010 12:42 PM

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