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April 14, 2010

Great Moments in Deployment History

Because nothing says, "Dude, you are *so* not getting laid when you get home" assures a happy homecoming quite as effectively as a warm and fuzzy letter from MARCENT:

Subj: NOTIFICATION OF YOUR SPOUSE'S DEATH GRATUITY BENEFICARY [sic] DESIGNATION

Dear Mrs. Spousal Unit:

This letter is notification that your spouse has recently updated their Record of Emergency Data.... Due to elections your spouse has made, you are not listed as the sole primary beneficiary for all of the benefits that you are no longer may be entitled to under Death Gratuity.

Please address any questions or concerns with your spouse.

Like these guys don't have enough to worry about without receiving panicked emails from the dependent spouse. They could at least warn a brother.

As you were.

Posted by Cassandra at April 14, 2010 08:56 AM

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Comments

Because nothing says, "Dude, you are *so* not getting laid when you get home"...

So, what you're saying is, there's an actual *reason*?

Huh...

Posted by: BillT at April 14, 2010 11:42 AM

System required an update, he fat-fingered an error due to the stupid phrasing of such updates?

Posted by: htom at April 14, 2010 12:13 PM

Oddly enough, he only changed his email address and that was MONTHS ago.

Apparently the spouses of other IAs have gotten this letter. Sounds like a computer glitch to me :p

I just had to laugh, though it didn't seem terribly funny at 11 pm last night...

Posted by: Cassandra at April 14, 2010 12:22 PM

Oh joy. Seeing "spouse" and "death" on the same line should be good for major heart palpitations. Never underestimate the retardation of bureaucracy.

Posted by: Mark at April 14, 2010 12:26 PM

'Tis often said: "People can make mistakes. But for serious f*ck-ups, you need the Army!"

Posted by: Cousin Dave at April 14, 2010 12:29 PM

I'm stealing Cousin Dave's quote. But substituting "government". Because if I substitute "Air Force" it sounds like a beauty pageant or something.

Posted by: airforcewife at April 14, 2010 03:52 PM

How about "a bureaucracy"?

Posted by: Foxfier at April 14, 2010 05:13 PM

Hey!! I'm retired AF! (...but....agree ;] )

Posted by: ziobuck at April 15, 2010 11:50 AM

I love the way updates work with personnel records. I've had info go through instantly, and other times have been demoted, promoted again, had an address changed back to my parents' address, and phone number rolled back. No wonder they messed up my mortgage allotment. MOL is flaky, but at least it will eventually update in time for your next PCS.

Posted by: Smart Grunt at April 15, 2010 01:56 PM

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