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June 12, 2010

Life's Hard...

It's harder if you're stupid.

A space-themed, talking Hallmark graduation card is being pulled from store shelves because of the card’s reference to a black hole.

But members of the Los Angeles NAACP say the message sounds like "black whore" in the card's audio recording. That's how they hear it, and they say it's racist, KABC-TV in Los Angeles reported.

Posted by Cassandra at June 12, 2010 08:50 AM

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That's how they hear it, and they say it's racist

So, now it's the *NAACP* promoting the stereotype that blacks are too stupid to understand plain English.

How nice of them.

Posted by: BillT at June 12, 2010 09:48 AM

Good Lord...talking about taking a leap in logic...right off the cliff...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at June 12, 2010 10:58 AM

Aren't you supposed to look before you leap off the logic cliff?


Posted by: Cricket at June 12, 2010 11:16 AM

Reminds me of the idiotic controversy several years ago over a teacher's use of "niggardly" in his classroom, and all the crying and hand-wringing and demands of an apology for offending the little darlings who can't crack open a dictionary.

Posted by: Mattexian at June 12, 2010 11:53 AM

So NAACP misunderstands 'black hole' in space for BLACK HO in space? Now that is funny.

Gives new meaning to SOS! (Stuck On Stupid) Maybe I should complain to Nabisco to have the CRACKER label taken off saltines.

Posted by: vet66 at June 12, 2010 12:50 PM

IIRC, it's not been that long since a city manager had to apologize and almost lost his job when a rather dim city council member asked about giving more money to a spendthrift and corrupt entity and the manager said it was "a black hole." The council member came unglued.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at June 12, 2010 02:33 PM

Oh yeah, and when you are at an international astronomical conference with Russian-speakers, you use the term gravitational singularity, because "black hole" has a very naughty meaning in Russian.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at June 12, 2010 02:34 PM

Black hos in space...what a concept.

Posted by: camojack at June 12, 2010 02:42 PM

I think Vet66 has the germ of an idea, there! Now that I think about it, more of us should be offended by the word "cracker" on saltines and every other crispy sort of biscuit, and demand that all boxes containing the word "cracker" be destroyed by throwing them in Boston Harbor.

Come to think about it, I don't like the term "white noise", either. Is it "white noise" when I speak about taking offense at the word "cracker" on saltines? What noise does a "honky" make? White noise?

Posted by: MathMom at June 12, 2010 03:06 PM

"Black hos in space...what a concept.

Posted by: camojack at June 12, 2010 02:42 PM"

Maybe Barbara Billingsley can be cast as a crew member who specializes in translations for a feature length motion picture on the subject? She has some experience in this area.

Posted by: bthun at June 12, 2010 03:49 PM

Supidity abounds. I guess some other terms - besides "cracker" that need to go:

A "chink" in the armor
"Spic" and span
"mexican" standoff
"coon" hound

any insect, pest, act, drink or food with a national "identity" such as a Japanese Beetle, Spanish Fly, French Fry, Dutch Treat, Singapore Sling, Cuba Libre.....

The list is endless. We can offend anyone at any time through the simple use of the english language and the offended parties' twist/spin/stupidity/aural inadequatecies.

A friend of mine was wont to say "I am offended that you take offense at my use of the truth." I say if they are offended, call a WAHHHHHHmbulance and get a quick fix of reality.

As our splendidililishous hostess said "life's hard. It's harder if you are stupid." People who come from the shallow end of the gene pool need to stay there. (No need for jokes about the residents of trailer parks, West Virginia, any inner city neighborhood, or any ethnically associated alphabetical acronym identified gaggle such as NAACP, LULAC, CORE, ACORN, CAIR...)


Posted by: kbob again... at June 13, 2010 09:18 AM

I wonder what the NAACP and other like-minded ghetto fools think of eubonics these days?

Picture this; a forward observer from Oakland, CA. giving tactical instructions to an artillery crew speaking in code dialect (Wind Talkers?) which we will refer to as "Wind Passers" in the ultimate test of the efficacy of eubonics on the kinetic battlefield.

Gives new meaning to "INCOMING - Danger Close."

Posted by: vet66 at June 13, 2010 10:18 AM

I grew up hearing a lot of puzzling expressions involving nationality that I later found had originated as a kind of cultural slur, but the insulting part of the meaning had long been lost. Lots of them involve the Dutch, for instance: "Dutch courage" is a fake version fueled by booze. A Dutch uncle is harsh rather than avuncular. A Dutch treat is not a treat at all, but one that you're required to pay for by yourself. A Dutch oven is a primitive substitute.

I understand the cheerful expression "Chinese Wall," once used to describe the careful process of ensuring that confidential information from one side of a firm did not leak over to the other side, where there might be a conflict of interest, has been gradually replaced with the boring and spiritless "information barrier."

Posted by: Texan99 at June 13, 2010 10:41 AM


For those who have not developed sufficient cognitive skills and abilities, (if they were Dutch) those terms would be "racist", "offensive" and in some cases, the foundation for lawsuits and riots.

But for those of us not so easily offended by childish phrases or jokes, even when tossed as a rude, crude and crass barb, we just consider the source, the intelligence level and the intent.

The ignorant TRY to use words a weapons, but the words backfire and provide unintended consequences and then the ignorant are shocked at the effects.

Sad, isn't it? That adults cannot exchange, discuss and debate ideas, even ideas and thoughts that are offensive without the threat of violence or legal action is patently offensive to me as an American who has for 37 years put my hind quarters on the line to defend that right for all Americans. Even the ones I disagree with.

Have a super pleasant Sunday. It has to be better than mine......

Posted by: kbob again... at June 13, 2010 04:31 PM

As another aside, in New Mexico, until the 1960s and 1970s, persons of African ancestry were Anglos. As in - not Hispano or Indian or Mexican, so that only left Anglo. Apparently everyone just shrugged and laughed.

And then there's Salt Lake City, where even Jews are Gentiles. . . or used to be.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at June 13, 2010 06:35 PM

Just thought I would share this one I just got from my Admin Sgt.....

Some Adult Truths:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate straightening up my house, making it look really good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond when you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver, I hate pedestrians; as a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Posted by: kbob again... at June 13, 2010 07:54 PM

kbob again...

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

I don't think I can fix most of your list, but I CAN fix #4.

Voila! Sarcmark!

Posted by: MathMom at June 13, 2010 08:15 PM

kbob ~ outstanding! Thanks for sharing - put a smile on my face :) Think I might 'facelift' a few of those.

MM ~ sadly, the Mac platform isn't supported just yet for that :(

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 13, 2010 09:22 PM

HomefrontSix -

I just tried to put a bunch of them in a comment here so everyone could copy one and paste it where needed, but alas, they come through as a little rectangle.

Just know, I tried!

Posted by: MathMom at June 13, 2010 09:57 PM

I had to laugh at #1. Any time I visit a site that might, say, disqualify me for the next high federal office I might be offered, or interfere with my future canonization review process, I delete it myself before going on to do anything else. #2 rang a lot of bells, too.

Posted by: Texan99 at June 13, 2010 11:21 PM

"Black hos in space...what a concept.
Posted by: camojack at June 12, 2010 02:42 PM"

Maybe Barbara Billingsley can be cast as a crew member who specializes in translations for a feature length motion picture on the subject? She has some experience in this area.
Posted by: bthun at June 12, 2010 03:49 PM

As sequels go (not well, generally speaking) that's an outstanding movie.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Posted by: kbob again... at June 13, 2010 07:54 PM

I believe the thermal shock rendered that impractical for incandescent bulbs...although it would probably work using LED lights; maybe nobody else thought of that yet. Is it too late for me to patent the idea? ;-)

Posted by: camojack at June 14, 2010 01:20 AM

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Why would I *want* a better view of a 12-inch-thick layer of rime ice with a bit of plastic baggie showing through it?

Posted by: BillT at June 14, 2010 02:03 AM

Voila! Sarcmark!

Good idea, but I refuse to pay anyone for punctuation. Especially when it can only be seen by others who have paid for it.

Posted by: MikeD at June 14, 2010 09:06 AM

MikeD -

It's free right now! I didn't pay for it. Wouldn't have, either. But you make a strong point!

Posted by: MathMom at June 14, 2010 10:07 AM

MathMom, this is cracking me up: "Come to think about it, I don't like the term 'white noise'"... I guess they'd have conniption fits over brown noise and black noise (or blackbody radiation). Pink noise, I'll leave as an exercise to the reader.

Posted by: Cousin Dave at June 14, 2010 03:12 PM

Cousin Dave -

I was unaware that there are actual specifications for other colors of noise. I looked them up. Can't say I understand all I know about them, but one definition for brown noise...well, uhm, like, ewwwww!

Posted by: MathMom at June 14, 2010 08:15 PM

How about this charmer from Tennessee State Rep. Janis Baird Sontany about female Republican state legislators, “You have to lift their skirts to find out if they are women. You sure can’t find out by how they vote!”

I feel symbolically raped by that crack about lifting skirts.

h/t http://drus-vues.blogspot.com/2010/06/rep-sontany-just-checking-girls.html

Posted by: Texan99 at June 14, 2010 10:01 PM


Some folks never learn.

Posted by: I Call BS at June 15, 2010 01:19 AM

Why -- because the stream hasn't degenerated into sex and relationships, yet?

Posted by: BillT at June 15, 2010 01:46 AM

I feel symbolically raped by the association of the word "degenerated" with the archetypically female subjects of "love and relationships."

BillT, the phrase they taught us in Diversity Consciousness Raising School was "I'm uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is taking."

Posted by: Texan99 at June 15, 2010 08:41 AM

Yeah, we had Mandatory Consideration of Others classes in the Army, too.

I used to raise my hand and say, "I'm uncomfortable with the direction this block of instruction is taking" just to watch the instructors hem and haw and squirm for five minutes, and then announce a break.

Posted by: BillT at June 15, 2010 09:23 AM

I used to take the sign from my office door to *those* classes. It said, "Sexual harrassment will not be tolerated. It will, however, be graded."


Posted by: DL Sly at June 15, 2010 12:29 PM

Did you pin it to your desk with the kukri?

Posted by: BillT at June 15, 2010 01:08 PM

Nah, the kukri is a (semi) new tool aquired after my *career-change*.
I did, however, take a red pen.

Posted by: DL Sly at June 15, 2010 01:56 PM

Oh no, no! DL, you can not use a red pen anymore. Shame, shame. You see, red marks can cause lowered self-esteem in learners and undo all their self-validation.

Not that that stopped the Southern lady professor with the green pen from ruining my evenings on occasion, though. Fair, very fair, but harder than Georgia granite.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at June 15, 2010 03:03 PM

"... red marks can cause lowered self-esteem..."

Especially so when they get back something I've corrected, and it looks like a pig bled out on the page. I just *hate* it when that happens.
One of my English profs was of the *old school* -- when she reached the second error (be it a run-on/fragmented sentence, misspelling, punctuation, etc.) in an essay, it was an automatic F. Period. Try harder next time.

Posted by: DL Sly at June 15, 2010 05:31 PM

Oh great. Grammer Nazis in real life. Lovely. /sarc

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at June 15, 2010 05:56 PM

I'm guessing that's an intentional, snarky misspelling, YAG.

Posted by: DL Sly at June 15, 2010 06:25 PM

"the phrase they taught us in Diversity Consciousness Raising School was "I'm uncomfortable with the direction this conversation is taking."
Sheesh... I musta slept through that part of all those valuing differences courses that I had the pleasure to, ahh, well, sleep through.

When compelled to attend such training I had the unfortunate habit of nodding myself awake just in time to see grown people tossing beach balls around the room, or some educational exercise of equal value. The relevance of such to the arcane art of recognizing unique individuals and adapting my interactions with said individuals in order to achieve a goal, was simply lost on this old knuckle-dragger. So, being roused from my slumber at such a point, I would mutter something along the lines of, WTF!?, a little too loudly.

That's usually when the ValDiff facilitator would prod me by saying to the class something along the lines of, people with blue eyes are bigots. I, being deeply wounded and under the impression that I'd just flunked the Rorschach finals, yet again, would ask the facilitator if I could be excused.

Looking back on my life in corporate, I did wind up being scheduled to attend an awful lot of those classes.

Posted by: bthun at June 15, 2010 08:43 PM

Avast bthun, you scurvy dog....you surely remember the initial throes of that training following the incident(s) on CVA63 that we participated in on CVA/CV66.

Such fun times. When I was stationed with EM2 "Afro" Atterbury, on AS36, he offered that those classes were so much caca de vaca......and it got worse when the opposite sex was placed aboard ships of the line. I always wondered tho...was it us or them who were the opposite????

Posted by: kbob in Corpus... at June 15, 2010 09:22 PM

Attabury! Ha!

Great googlie mooglie! Attabury's name summoned Hobbs, and far too many other names to mention here. A and H were funny as h3!! too. Good people.

Kbob, remember the crap games in the electrical switchboard spaces?

Garner the Enforcer, armed with a dogging wrench, collecting gambling debts from deadbeats, in the Chiefs mess, no less?

Drop me an email to keep me up to speed with ya kbob.

Posted by: bthun at June 15, 2010 10:32 PM