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June 11, 2010

Our Ass Kicking Prez, Part Deux


My nine-year-old daughter looked at the front page of the paper, and her eyes grew wide:

The president said “ass”?

She swallowed the A-word, because it is, after all, the A-word. I nodded; he said that. She was silent for a while, digesting the information. Presidents, after all, are part of the great Pantheon of Authority, standing over the school principal, teachers, the pastor, police, and perhaps the mailman. To consider them using bad words reordered everything. Unless …

“He didn’t mean donkey,” she said, this being the only possible explanation. I shook my head. It will now be difficult to tell her not to use that word; it will now be a matter of time before my wife says, “Well, your daughter was sounding presidential today,” and it won’t be a reference to mankind’s universal aspirations.

It just keeps getting better from there.

Posted by Cassandra at June 11, 2010 02:07 PM

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Somehow hearing this threat from BHO about kicking ass doesn't sound any more threatening than the leather clad vixen at Sylvia's House of Pain and Futon emporium offering the same threat for $19.95.

A threat like this from an Ivy League elitist like Obama is laughable in it's absurdity. All I can say is "YEAH, RIGHT!"

Posted by: vet66 at June 11, 2010 02:28 PM

His skirt was very short, like his resume, and Josh found himself mesmerized by his perfectly shaped, silken oratory with pandering that reminded him of golden road apples — he couldn't remember having been captivated by such horsesh*t before — and his lustrous lies. He tore his ears away from Obama's voice with the utmost difficulty, and put them down the garbage disposal.

Posted by: spr rxr at June 11, 2010 03:51 PM

Figures. The only people taking *anything* Obie says seriously are nine-year-old girls...

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2010 04:12 PM

...and Liberals.

But that's redundant.

*apologies to nine-year-old girls worldwide for the comparison*

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2010 04:14 PM

When I first heard the quote, I kept thinking of his "Blackalicious" speech during the campaign.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 11, 2010 04:24 PM

pandering that reminded him of golden road apples

That is sidebar worthy.

Posted by: Cassandra at June 11, 2010 05:04 PM

This kick ass fantasy reminds me of something.
*begins a search through the files*
Ah yes, here it is.

From the Files of J. Edgar...

Barney Frank and Barack are driving along Constitution Avenue one afternoon, and while stopped at a traffic light, they are rear ended by a large truck. Furiously, Barney throws his man-bag on the seat, gets out of the car, goes back to the truck and starts banging on the door.

The truck driver opens the door and Barney, standing there with his hands on his hips, says, “I’m gonna sue your ass, Buddy!”

The truck driver, laughs and says, “Efff you!”

Barney stands there for a second, then his eyes get really big and his face lights up. He runs back to the car, and says excitedly to Barack, “You won’t believe it, he wants to settle out of court!”

Such are the fantasies of the Washington effete.

Posted by: J. Edgar Hubris at June 11, 2010 05:04 PM

Why would anyone want to kick a burro? One of my neighbors has a pet burro, cute little sucker. Oh, by the way, tequila and riding the burro don't mix.

Speaking of which, foundation for the new barn? Check.

Hot & Tired? Check.

Gin & Tonic?
Si senor.

Cheers and happy Friday!

Posted by: Allen at June 11, 2010 05:43 PM

To prove his commitment to kick some righteous butt, Le Won has authorized the release of a new music video.

Rock on you fierce, ass kicking dude!

Posted by: Wayne and Garth at June 11, 2010 06:57 PM

Obama is an ass...of both varieties actually, or portions thereof.

Posted by: camojack at June 11, 2010 06:57 PM

This is what happens when your horoscope reads, "When in doubt today, ask yourself, 'What would Xena do?'..."

Posted by: BillT at June 11, 2010 07:25 PM

"What would Xena do?"
At least she'd be able to pitch a ball 60.5 feet with some pepper on it.

Posted by: Casey Stengel's ghost at June 11, 2010 08:39 PM

Xena would probably kick some Amadinnerjacket ass and show teh won how it be dood. Might as well get a few kicks in on Mentally Ill Jung and all the Paliwhackoffs.

Xena rocks. But Xuxa could do it too....our cinc is such a capital W.U.S.S.....

Posted by: kbob again... at June 11, 2010 09:34 PM

Oh, by the way, tequila and riding the burro don't mix...

Whoa. I've got to get out of the house more :p

Posted by: Cassandra at June 12, 2010 06:22 AM

To prove his commitment to kick some righteous butt, Le Won has authorized the release of a new music video.

I think this one is, while maintaining the overarching theme of savage, executive-level retribution, a more visually-appropriate example of the POTUS-as-rampaging-avenger meme...


Posted by: BillT at June 12, 2010 06:44 AM

Oh! Oh! I thout I taw a Tweety bird in howler monkey arching pencil-neck to gaze down snout emitting whiparse kali while knees knock hidden by hakama form!

I did. I did, I did see a twee...

Oh. Nevew mind.
Dat was just a pwess conference fwom da White House...

Posted by: Tweety at June 12, 2010 10:15 AM

The President is en-route to making President Carter look macho. Carter in the 1970s, mind, not Carter in his 70's.

The man cannot even cuss. I am so ashamed.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at June 12, 2010 02:40 PM

"Roz! ROZ! I'm not the worst President evah anymore!!!"

Posted by: BillT at June 13, 2010 07:31 AM

Here is an outstandingly manly shot of the President watching a vewwy vewwy scawwy exhibition of martial arts: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-5315865-503544.html

Posted by: Texan99 at June 13, 2010 05:13 PM

In the words of our hostess, "*snort*"...

Posted by: bthun at June 13, 2010 09:45 PM

Yessirree, nothin' says "capable of serious a$$-kicking" like a Barney Frank runway pose...

Posted by: BillT at June 14, 2010 03:25 AM

"Sissy meltdown" comes to mind.

Posted by: Texan99 at June 14, 2010 09:32 AM