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July 07, 2010

Bear With Me, Folks

I'm working on a long essay.

Posted by Cassandra at July 7, 2010 08:31 AM

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Ok, you work on your essay and I'll entertain the huddled masses yearning to breathe free by dispensing indispensible information regarding cute bears in Virginia while simultaneously juggling an entire Russian spy network and tap dancing to the crazy-man-crazy beat of Barney Frank on the bongos.

Hey (juggle-juggle) kids! Virginia (tap-tap-tappity-tap-tap juggle-juggle) is for Bear (tap-tap) Lovers! So, please (tap-juggle-tap-juggle-tap-tap-juggle), bring your pick-a-nik baskets! (tappity-tap-jug-trap-japity-tapple-trip-gap-tuggle-gap-plop-bang-flopple)!

There. That ought to hold them for a while.

Posted by: spd rdr at July 7, 2010 12:07 PM

The kids have run amok! Where is CPS?

In other news, Jan Brewer's pre-recorded message endorsing Karen Handel for governor reached me on my deserted island.

(*@### technology!

spd, you were off on the descant.

Posted by: Cricket at July 7, 2010 12:48 PM

Bear stories, OK.

I have a place in the Sierras just south of the Giant Sequoia Monument, which means many bears. My fiancee and I took one of her sons and his girlfriend up with us. We were out on the deck when one of my bear neighbors was crashing through the woods down the hill. He was making that doggish barking/chuffing sound as he went along. The young lady asked me what on earth is that sound. It's just a bear I replied.

Much later I was rudely awakened by my fiancee, "Allen, get down here now!" I stumbled down the stairs, and asked what was wrong? "There's a bear on the deck, do something!" While not entirely sure what she meant about doing something I looked out the window, and sure enough there was a 400 pound black bear with his front paws up on the deck table. I said to everyone, "he's a big sucker" which didn't really improve the mood. I scared him off with a starter pistol I keep for the purpose.

Being a curious fellow I asked them what happened. It seems the kids wanted to see a bear in the wild so they cooked up some bacon and laid a trail of it up towards the deck so they could get a picture of him. My fiancee didn't really see the downside to this plan, so she let them.

"Don't tempt bears with bacon."

Posted by: Allen at July 7, 2010 01:19 PM

Bears :)

I don't know why I am so fond of them but I am. Thanks for the links, spd!

Allen, sometime allow me to bore you to tears with my dumb bear stories. When I was about 11 my parents took us on a camping trip in Canada. Bear visits were a nightly occurrence only slightly discouraged by hoisting every scrap of food in the camp up a tall tree on a rope before retiring.

We children learned how to bang pots and scare the bears away very quickly!

Posted by: Cassandra at July 7, 2010 01:38 PM

Bore me with bears? Perish the thought, they are magnificent creatures. I've watched grizzlies fishing for salmon, polar bears hunting seals, and recalcitrant black bears raiding campsites. Since my first encounter with a bear when I was a child I have made a hobby of studying them.

There's a store in Kernville CA, the Bearstore that sells all sorts of carved bears. It's on my way up to the mountains and I always stop in. I may have overdone the bear motif at my mountain place, as some suggest, but what can I say?

Posted by: Allen at July 7, 2010 02:03 PM

These days Mama Bear sends the cubs up the tree and out on the branch to bend it down where she can maul the goodies loose.

When I was a young kid, must have been the early 1950s, we frequently drove down the road to Yellowstone for vacations. One year, Mom set out the picnic lunch while Dad went down to the stream to fish. Mrs. Bear showed up with two cubs and Mom hustled her three kids into the car, we rolled up the windows, locked the doors, watched the bears eat our lunch, and prayed that they'd leave before Dad came back. They did, thankfully.

I am constantly surprized at the stupidity of humans interacting with bears in the park. It just keeps getting worse. Get out of the car, feed Ma Bear marshmellows, run out of marshmellows, and be surprized when she bats the video camera out of hubby's hand.

Posted by: htom at July 7, 2010 02:10 PM

Heh :)

On the stone ledge on my fireplace I have a carved bear we got on a trip up to Big Basin many moons ago. I wanted it so badly I carried it on my lap in a tiny Mazda 323 with two kids a husband and a noisy beagle for the better part of 2 days.

Posted by: Cassandra at July 7, 2010 02:21 PM

Speaking of which, it's those...

Bare Necessities.

I've always loved that since I was a kid.

Posted by: Allen at July 7, 2010 03:27 PM

I can't help it.

Every time I see that header, I read, "Beer With Me, Folks" and think, "Don't I wish"...

Posted by: BillT at July 8, 2010 04:00 PM