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August 09, 2010

Job of the Week

Many moons ago whilst the Blog Princess was working one of what proved to be an endless series of underpaid and unrewarding jobs, she took comfort in mocking occupations that were even more pointless and bizarre than her own. This highly nuanced form of mockery was usually indicated by the sarcastic phrase, "Yeah... I want that job".

Being bored beyond belief at work, she has decided to turn this into a blog category used to denote weird occupations. This week's entry?

"Monkey annoyance expert", as in:

Japanese macaques will completely flip out when presented with flying squirrels, a new study in monkey-antagonism has found. The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

OK, the truth is that she just wanted an excuse to post this photo:


As a potential growth industry, "Monkey Annoyance Expert" strikes us as being right up there with "Breast Navigator".

That is all.

Posted by Cassandra at August 9, 2010 01:36 PM

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Moonbat monkey! Moonmonkey~

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 9, 2010 03:57 PM

This was not at all what I expected. Monkeys can be a real problem, and I was wondering if flying squirrels were being deployed to drive them away. Not that "Flying Squirrel Wrangler" would be one of my preferred job titles, either!

Posted by: htom at August 9, 2010 04:27 PM

Are these the same monkeys on cocaine? If that was the case then the job would be infinitely more interesting.

"Hey let's let these monkeys do this huge line of coke then see what freaks them out."

Purveyor of Coke and Paranoia to Monkeys is a little long but it does have a certain cachet.

Posted by: Allen at August 9, 2010 07:10 PM

On a slightly serious note, if the breast navigators are what the locak mammography center calls "nurse navigators," they do a very important job of helping women with positive studies (that's not a good thing) learn about options, schedule appointments, evaluate procedures and sometimes go to appointments with the patient so as to ensure that everyone understands everything.

And yeah, getting paid to scare primates sounds like a really bad job. Really bad.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at August 9, 2010 07:16 PM

In the category of strange and different animal behavior, Dolphins Blowing Ring Bubbles

Posted by: htom at August 9, 2010 11:07 PM

I'd like a job using flying squirrels for target practice. Any squirrels really, but the flying variety might be more of a challenge... ;-)

Posted by: camojack at August 10, 2010 01:15 AM

On a slightly serious note, if the breast navigators are what the locak mammography center calls "nurse navigators,"...

I think they're the same thing, Red :p

My amusement stems from the first time I heard the word on a local radio ad. Normally the term used is Nurse Navigator or something like that. I just found it funny to hear someone referred to as a "breast" navigator since that term implies they are navigating (or helping someone else navigate) the Wonderful World of Breasts rather than, say, being a nurse who helps patients navigate a hospital or through a variety of treatment options :p

And yes, I have a weird sense of humor!

Posted by: Cassandra at August 10, 2010 05:10 AM

...right up there with "Breast Navigator".

"Participation in the program is not required in order to sit for the exam...Examinations will not be offered online..."

But will it be offered in braille?

Posted by: BillT at August 10, 2010 07:34 AM

That's a great picture. But the ordinary, non-flying squirrels suffice to reduce our dog to slathering, foaming at the mouth, near-breaking-window, barking rage as they raid the seed that falls from the bird feeder outside the living room. One in particular sits a foot away and eats slowly, deliberately annoying the dog.

Posted by: retriever at August 10, 2010 09:14 AM

So what you're saying is that squirrels are Dog Annoyance Experts! :p

Posted by: Cassandra at August 10, 2010 09:16 AM

But will it be offered in braille?

Of the three ripostes that occurred to the blog princess, exactly zero are ones I feel comfortable posting...

Dang. I hate being an adult sometimes :p

Posted by: Cassandra at August 10, 2010 09:18 AM

I've had some truly horrible jobs. I worked midnight shift at Denny's to get through college - it doesn't get much worse than that.

But I managed to find a way to console myself even then. Because at least I wasn't a bikini wax technician.

Posted by: airforcewife at August 10, 2010 12:56 PM

You're sure these aren't the same monkeys you use for typing?

*dodging flying squirrel*

I know, I know!!!

Bean Counting...

Posted by: Cricket at August 10, 2010 12:58 PM

OMG... can you imagine? Talk about hating life...

Posted by: Cassandra at August 10, 2010 12:58 PM

This is very timely information. I am taking my brood to see our fair city's Double-A baseball team on Friday (the Richmond "Flying Squirrels" (no kidding)). Thanks to my vfirst checking with Villainous Company, I'll be leaving my gaggle of hyperactive chimpanzees in the car. The monkey too.

Posted by: Don Quixotub at August 10, 2010 02:01 PM

My worst job ever: Grass seed spreader. I was a teenager and one summer in NC got a job spreading grass seed at the Malinckrodt Chemical Co. spraying fields.

You walk up and down for miles carrying 50 pounds of grass seed spreading it with one of those hand cranked spreaders. 10 hours a day, with as much overtime as you wanted.

Long pants, long sleeves, gloves, and what we called Hazmat Chaps. I never thought I would have a worse job then working the tobacco fields, I was wrong.

Posted by: Allen at August 10, 2010 02:38 PM

Typing claim checks for an insurance company on triplicate carbon-copy forms (way pre-computer), so any typo required the voiding of the check and the filling out of a separate voiding form. All day, with a bell to start in the morning, a bell to start and end the lunch break, and a bell at the end, all in a warehouse of an office with desks as far as the eye could see to the horizon. A potent inspiration to seek a better education.

Posted by: Texan99 at August 10, 2010 02:48 PM

Dang. I hate being an adult sometimes.

Never tried that "being an adult" thingie, m'self...

Posted by: BillT at August 10, 2010 04:39 PM

The worst job I ever had? Painting greenware. Although, passing out samples of soft drinks and food had to be second.

I did not mind babysitting; I got to play. I would take my charges outside, wear 'em out, bring 'em in, wipe down faces and hands, feed 'em lunch and they were ready for naps. By that time, mama came back. I was in high demand.

Especially at night. I would turn off all the lights except one, and read fairy tales in the dark, or we would watch 'The Dukes of Hazzard' or 'Emergency'. Certain families I sat for, I would allow the children to play hide and seek in the dark. Sometimes I would bring stuff to do hair and nails, as well as the BSA book. The vintage BSA books had some KEWL things for boys to do.

Other times, the parents would leave a box of brownie mix out and we would bake brownies, etc.
A lot of my *kids* are my friends on FB now..

Posted by: Cricket at August 10, 2010 04:39 PM

Not sure I've had a really bad job. Co-workers from Mordor, sure, but not a really horrible job. Yet.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at August 10, 2010 07:02 PM

When you're fresh out of the Army in 1972 and John Kerry has been lying his ass off for the media so that every potential employer you approach is firmly convinced you're a drugged-out war criminal with a homicidal rage trying to claw its way through your skin, wellllll, ya sorta haveta take what ya can get...

,,,and I got some lulus.

Posted by: BillT at August 10, 2010 07:31 PM

Worst on a daily basis was cleaning the outgoing waste water filters at a food processing plant. Thank the Lord it only took about twenty minutes.

... that every potential employer you approach is firmly convinced you're a drugged-out war criminal with a homicidal rage trying to claw its way through your skin, ...
Oh yes. Been there. Didn't help to have a real service connected invisible disability, especially when you told them that their urine test would show the barbiturates you were prescribed to treat it. There are so many idiots out there.

Posted by: htom at August 11, 2010 12:07 AM

*cue Batman theme*

Posted by: Cricket at August 11, 2010 12:45 AM

"There are so many idiots out there. "

It's how God keeps entertained, I suppose.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 11, 2010 07:47 AM

"The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys."

Didn't these idiots see "28 Days Later"? Nothing good comes from enraged monkeys. Nothing.At.All.

Posted by: Jeremy at August 11, 2010 07:26 PM

My worst job? Probably "summer hire" between my junior and senior years of high school. It was a program to give teenaged dependent kids summer employment. You applied for the program and basically took what job you were given. Mine wasn't a cushy one (in an office, behind a desk, with occasional typing duties), but it wasn't the worst, either (having to do the lawn maintenance around the Kaserne, such as mowing the parade field on Sheridan). I got assigned a warehouse job. Old German guy who "fought the Russians" (apparently, German men of that age all fought the Russians, never the Americans....). We would have to stock the inventory when it arrived (chem lights, toilet paper, styrofoam thingies for the commissary's meat department and Lord only knows what else that I can't recall) and filling orders as they came in. Also, sweeping the warehouse floor (throw down sawdust, then sweep - the sawdust helps pick up the smaller dirt particles). But, by far, the stupidest thing we (me and my co-workers) had to do was mop (yes, I said mop) the asphalt parking lot. They had moved some of those 55-gallon drums that had been used to mark a parking area. They left behind rust rings. But, "the general" was coming to inspect, so the old German guy gave use several (brand new) mops and told us to mop up the rust. The only thing we succeeded in doing was ruining perfectly good rag mops and re-arranging the rust from ring formations into cloud-like formations on the ground...

Posted by: Miss Ladybug at August 12, 2010 12:45 AM