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August 05, 2010

Women....

...they are nothing but trouble:

Posted by Cassandra at August 5, 2010 12:39 PM

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That is adorable!!! Congrats on parents who have raised a child who can express his frustration (however incomprehensible, haha!) so well.

Posted by: FbL at August 5, 2010 01:26 PM

I feel confident in predicting that he and Harmony won't be dating anytime soon...

Posted by: BillT at August 5, 2010 02:21 PM

Actually if my little boy fu is any indication, Geoffrey probably has a crush on Harmony.

And y'all say boys are logical :p

Posted by: Cassandra at August 5, 2010 02:23 PM

I liked the line about "all the gentle animals!"

Posted by: Grim at August 5, 2010 02:24 PM

Anger leads to the dark side?

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 5, 2010 02:25 PM

I liked the line about "all the gentle animals!"

...as opposed to otters, who are well known for their extreme ferocity :p

That and the dramatic hand gestures and the "Wasting my time to see the lions, the pumas, the BEARS! (and drat those two kids in the dark, spooky cave)".

I tried so hard to make the day good... *sigh*.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 5, 2010 02:31 PM

...as opposed to otters, who are well known for their extreme ferocity :p

Some dogs made a run for em. Interesting things happened

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 5, 2010 02:33 PM

Lions and pumas and bears, OH MY!

He wanted to go see the otters. Last I checked, they did spank their offspring.

Posted by: Cricket at August 5, 2010 03:27 PM

At that age, he might well have a crush on Harmony. Life's hard, get used to it!

Posted by: htom at August 5, 2010 05:21 PM

This may sound like a put down, but it's not. I learned SO much about men by watching my little boys grow up. Children don't disguise themselves - they're far more open than adults. That makes it easier to see connections

One thing that used to puzzle me about men is the way they get so angry sometimes about things that (in *my* enlightened view) don't merit such a response. Watching my sons and their friends taught me not to take that anger quite so seriously - it quite literally didn't mean what I'd thought it did.

I was surprised to see how often boys get mad (as compared to girls). They seem to get angry when they are frustrated or don't understand something, and sometimes they get angry when another strong emotion is what's really bothering them.

That said, though I've gotten better about taking things in stride, I still instinctively get upset if my husband is upset. I may not show it anymore (b/c that doesn't help anyone) but my stomach gets all tied up in knots and I don't ever think I'll get to the stage where I don't feel that I "ought" to be able to fix whatever is bothering him.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 5, 2010 05:35 PM

Harmony is a funny name. Given the dissent ongoing.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 5, 2010 07:16 PM

They seem to get angry when they are frustrated or don't understand something, and sometimes they get angry when another strong emotion is what's really bothering them.

They get angry that they're too angry to think straight, that's what.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 5, 2010 07:21 PM

They get angry that they're too angry to think straight, that's what.

That may well be. I used to wonder whether they got angry when they felt overwhelmed (kind of a fight or flight response)?

Posted by: Cassandra at August 5, 2010 09:04 PM

Boys calm down when they do something. It's better for their nerves. If they are told to stay still for too long, you could visibly see the trembling start. It's harder to control them that way, because their insides are bursting to do something.

Some boys are more quiet though for any number of reasons. maybe better self-control. or maybe they got other ways to vent. if they can verbalize their problems, that may ease some frustration.

Girls have better socialization skills, so they can perhaps multitask the juggle between competing drives. Maybe a kid feels angry and wants to vent by yelling or throwing a tantrum. Then he is told he is too loud, so he has to obey social restrictions yet can't vent the rage inside by doing anything. Both things then collide and they come to a boil, resulting in a bigger explosion. If you wack em, they can calm down due to endorphins or whatever being sent into the bloodstream. Physical impact, violence, exertion usually expends adrenaline or anger. Enough to release the internal stress so that people can self control themselves.

There's also an element of surprise. most kids aren't used to feeling complicated things. It surprises them. Some people don't like surprises. It makes them afraid or scared or more angry when angry and scared.

Anger is basically when people feel they got something that they didn't deserve or isn't healthy for them. If they then find that they can't even deal with their own emotions, let alone the external situation outside themselves, then they got stress. And stress makes them try to find the source of the problem. So that they can expend rage into productive action to resolve the issue. But if they can't find it, nuts.

It's easy to blame other people. You don't have control over other people's actions. But if you get angry cause they did something to you, and then you find out that you can't control yourself because of how they made you feel, then we got people getting angry at themselves too. And if their little ego is too fragile or inexperienced to comprehend this, they get lost. And redivert the anger to what's available. Mom... DAAD, giraffes even. Yeah, it's the zebra's fault.


Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 5, 2010 09:28 PM

It's easy to blame other people. You don't have control over other people's actions. But if you get angry cause they did something to you, and then you find out that you can't control yourself because of how they made you feel, then we got people getting angry at themselves too. And if their little ego is too fragile or inexperienced to comprehend this, they get lost. And redivert the anger to what's available. Mom... DAAD, giraffes even. Yeah, it's the zebra's fault.

I wonder if this explains a lot of the anger I've been so dismayed by?

I get mad a lot too - especially when I'm frustrated. But almost immediately, the brain housing group kicks in and I try to identify and understand the competing interests involved (unless I'm feeling sorry for myself, that is :p). Understanding makes me less angry and helps me find a way where I might get what I want while also allowing whoever is pissing me off to get some of what they want too.

That's not always possible, but it tends to be the way I react to getting angry. That's why I am so dismayed when I see people who are so absolute in their anger that they don't seem to be able to see anyone's side but their own. You can't reason or negotiate with someone like that.

Posted by: Cassandra at August 6, 2010 12:34 PM

Understanding makes me less angry and helps me find a way where I might get what I want while also allowing whoever is pissing me off to get some of what they want too.

That's an alpha negotiation protocol. Used by people to get what they want, without using violence. Or rather, in addition to using violence sometimes.

Betas always talk about "my way or the highway". Which is why they keep chasing people out that they can't deal with. They lose the benefit of that person's resources, because they think it too risky to deal with that person's problems.

That's actually a sign of weakness, not strength.

Most people don't know how to get what they really want. They got base desires which they think will satisfy them, but it doesn't. Because they're not quite at the level necessary to make the right decisions. That's why they elect politicians and leaders. So that the Better Men make their decisions for them.

If people get what satisfies them, anger goes away. Until the next incident.

"You can't reason or negotiate with someone like that."

That's why the Colonies rebelled. Violence and war is always the last resort, but it is a rather all or nothing affair. Down right effective if one achieves victory. The risk is also why people who normally won't listen to reason, will be given a reason to. At the point of a barrel or a nuke.

Intellectuals may be "well educated" but they have not trained themselves to control their biological instincts of self-preservation. When death meets them face to face, they will crumble and compromise. Whereas if you just sat there and debated with them, they would never change their minds at all.

The same goes for the people bouncers see all the time. Instead of fighting all of them, you can negotiate from a position of strength. Either follow the rules or risk a lot of stuff in a fight that they know they won't win. Humans need hierarchies to keep them in control. That's true regardless of the importance of individual liberty.

Posted by: Ymarsakar at August 6, 2010 02:24 PM

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