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October 05, 2010

Today's Colossal Jackwagon

Because nothing says "Me so tolerant" quite like announcing to the world that you collect gay men like preteens collect Bratz dolls:

There seems to be a shortage of one particular commodity on the Main Line: gay men. I realized this limitation had reached crisis proportions after my birthday party recently when one of my female friends accused me (jokingly, I think) of hogging all the gays. Apparently I have too many gay friends and haven’t been sharing the wealth. To count, there were exactly four gay men present. Not exactly a huge cache.

Gay men have always been great friends as well as hot accessories for women. I’m just going to go ahead here and attribute sweeping generalizations to an entire demographic. In my experience, they’re fun, gossipy, and usually have good jobs (read: the means to do things). They enjoy shopping, spas and black-tie events, have great taste, and don’t compete for the same men—hopefully. For married women, they make wonderful platonic companions. They’ll give solid feedback on how your hair or outfit look and fill in where straight men (read: husbands) fall short. They’re right up there with the Birkin bag.

Don't you just love it when someone tries to innoculate themselves against being called a world class dimwit by pointing out their jackassery in advance? My favorite riposte came from a guy named Bill:

I, myself, would love to have more straight female friends. They are so talented at mopping floors, wiping snotty noses, and changing poopy diapers. Not to mention how great they are at doing the grocery shopping and picking up the mail, all with a great attitude and lots of laughter and smiles along the way.

But, I guess since I am a gay man that likes sports, and hunting, and can fix his own car when it breaks, I am just not fabulous enough. : (

I'm no great authority on gay men but the ones I have known are all over the map, probably because [gasp!] they're human.

Sexuality - like race or gender - does not define us. It's a part of who we are, but only a part - not the whole enchilada. Either way, I pick friends based on some combination of personality and shared interests, not because their taste in bed partners makes me feel all tingly in my special places. Somehow I'm guessing I wouldn't be invited to go shoe shopping on the Main Line.

CWCID: AF Wife

Posted by Cassandra at October 5, 2010 05:45 PM

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Comments

I love this comment: "So what, we’re the new chihuahua’s that should be carried around in your little purse?"

Posted by: FbL at October 5, 2010 05:56 PM

I’m just going to go ahead here and attribute sweeping generalizations to this...person. In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon."

This guy is so full of himself that he could choke on...himself.

Eric Hines

Posted by: E Hines at October 5, 2010 06:05 PM

Nice way for her to reduce her friends to functions rather than people. And this is supposed to be tolerance?

Posted by: Bill B (AKA Theocoid) at October 5, 2010 06:50 PM

I thought it was a joke; an attempt at a Swiftean satire about collecting minorities. Probable target: those who brag about having "group x" friends.

Posted by: htom at October 5, 2010 08:58 PM

I have to admit I was totally at a loss when I read this earlier today. And then I was completely infuriated, which hasn't really abated much, and which I've been told by some I've pointed this out to is an "over-reaction."

Except I really don't think it is. For one thing, try substituting some other minority in the place of gay men. Oh, wait. One of the commentors already did that:

No Eric not the same. I do wish I had more black women in my life because they are strong, nurturing and resilient. I wish I had more Jews in my life because they are brilliant and really funny. Don’t push your bigotry on others.

Apparently, there is something inherent in the Jewish genetics that make Jews all like Jon Stewart. No depression allowed in our Semitic brethren! NONE!

A positive stereotype is still a stereotype, and it is still bigoted to hold. Imagine what happens when the person holding that stereotype meets an angry Jew. There has been some irritation in the Asian community at the "smart" stereotype, particularly when it was used to get Asians removed from minority quotas in schools.

And what irks me most of all is that it is the"Progressive" population, who like to scream and point at the Evil Conservative Boogeyman, who actually treat the minority populations they purport to want equality for like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

It's screamingly obvious, and yet somehow it is also okay. And that makes me truly sick.

Posted by: airforcewife at October 5, 2010 09:05 PM

Oh, and not to mention the ridiculous juxtaposition of so many high profile people giving heartfelt messages of suicide prevention to gay teens and this woman telling gay men they only exist to make her look good.

That's SUCH a great way to increase the self esteem of homosexual teenagers. "Better find a straight sugar-mama, or you aren't worth anything!"

Ugh.

Posted by: airforcewife at October 5, 2010 09:21 PM

And what irks me most of all is that it is the"Progressive" population...who actually treat the minority populations they purport to want equality for like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

This is the dependency that the liberals create--whether unconsciously or malevolently. "Listen to us, we'll take care of you, and we'll ensure you're treated fairly." And the victim class becomes hooked on that and dependent on their Patrician for that fair treatment. And the Patrician is even more severely and completely addicted to the ego boost such dependency gives to them.

Eric Hines

Posted by: E Hines at October 5, 2010 10:07 PM

"There seems to be a shortage of one particular commodity on the Main Line: gay men."

Since I live in the area identified, I'll have to confess that I'm really all broken up about this.

NOT!!! ;-)

Posted by: camojack at October 6, 2010 01:32 AM

Kind of an ironic stereotype change -- going from strident activist to fashion accessory...

Posted by: BillT at October 6, 2010 04:19 AM

...this woman telling gay men they only exist to make her look good.

I wonder if her gay buds have clued her in that their term for a woman with that attitude is "fag hag"...

Posted by: BillT at October 6, 2010 04:23 AM

I guess what I found so bizarre about the article was that progressives can't quite seem to make up their minds whether stereotyping is a good or a bad thing.

On the one hand they argue that bias is wrong/bad and awful because "minority group X are no different from you and I", but then they make totally contradictory arguments like "we need more representation from minority group X because they're so totally different from you and I".

Ummm... which is it?

I don't disagree with the argument that hearing from people with differing life experiences can provide better perspective on some issues than only listening/talking to people whose experiences and backgrounds are similar/identical. But that doesn't seem to be what this lady is saying.

She seems to be saying that gay men are categorically different from straight men, not just in their sexual preferences but in their personalities and interests. If two groups are categorically different (and moreover, if members of each group are more similar to each other than to members of another group) then that implies that stereotypes are not the result of bigotry or ignorance, but an accurate reflection of objective reality.

Being a woman isn't (IMO) the most important thing about me. It seems odd to me to suggest that one's sexual preference ought to be the most important thing about them, or that it defines their entire character.

Posted by: Cassandra at October 6, 2010 10:18 AM

Being a woman isn't (IMO) the most important thing about me. It seems odd to me to suggest that one's sexual preference ought to be the most important thing about them, or that it defines their entire character.

It isn't your gender, or any other particular characteristic. It's sameness vs difference, and the ability to exert control. Who insists on the primacy of the individual--and the concomitant lack of control--and who insists on the primacy of the group, with my group needing to take care of your group? The rhetoric of the latter (the group-as-supreme crowd) has changed. It's no longer a matter of "they" need our help to keep up; now it's "they" need help redressing past wrongs. But the under text remains "they" are incapable of doing for themselves; their Betters (that would be Us) need to help them do (or, today, do for themselves), so long as what they do on their own initiative comports with these Betters' world view. If the group crowd can't keep others dependent on them (which is the outcome of this "help," whether intended or not), through the mechanism of this manufactured need for help, they lose control, and more powerfully, they lose the opiate of the ego boost from that control and that dependency of others on themselves.

Two examples that might illustrate this thesis are the treatment of Sarah Palin and of Michael Steele. Gov Palin is castigated, vitriolically, as much for being a conservative, independent, aggressive woman as she is for any honest disagreement with her politics. Similarly, Mr Steele is caviled as an Uncle Tom and generally bitterly even more than he is criticized for his politics. One has deserted the company town, and the other has strayed off his plantation.

Eric Hines

Posted by: E Hines at October 6, 2010 11:22 AM

It would seem a lot of these folks need to go back and think about a truism before they publish, or release their work. Most definitely the 10:10 producers, and this author.

"If you have to explain the joke, you've already blown it."

Posted by: Allen at October 6, 2010 01:52 PM

People who define themselves by *what* they are (race, gender, blah blah) rather than *who* they are (we each have a soul, right?) seem to be the most shallow of sorts.

Posted by: LS at October 6, 2010 05:36 PM

That gal is shallower than the proverbial mud-puddle in an August drouth.

Posted by: LittleRed1 at October 6, 2010 06:28 PM

Or, in the lexicon of my yoot', "She could play 'Sea Hunt' in spit"...

Posted by: BillT at October 7, 2010 04:40 AM

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