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October 17, 2012

Thought for the Day

Blaming others makes us less adaptable:

A study conducted by Harvard Medical School psychiatrist George Valliant showed that people who “projected,” or blamed others for their misfortunes, were much less able to adjust to the changing events in their lives… In another study, conducted by psychiatrist Leslie Phillips at Worcester State Hospital, it was found that the more people fell into the pattern of blaming others for their problems, the worse off they became in dealing with their life in general.

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Posted by Cassandra at October 17, 2012 07:07 AM

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Comments

I would love to know if the spiral is reversible, and if so:
Can it be done by the individual?
If so, what can trigger the reversal?
Can it be done by outside forces?
If so, what forces trigger the reversal?
Will a recovered person develop an immunity?
Is relapse common?

or,

if you are alone, drowning, will the vast majority will decide to swim?

Posted by: tomg51 at October 17, 2012 08:47 AM

That's the trick, isn't it? How to help someone like that without making things worse. When I think back to times in my life when I was painfully stuck, what worked best was people who were cheerfully sympathetic but confident I could help myself. They might get me started a bit, but they'd stand back and make sure I was invested in the solution for my own part.

And when you're truly drowning, sometimes people really do have to rescue you. If you find someone unconscious on the roadside, you do carry him inside and feed him chicken soup until he's strong enough to hold the spoon for himself.

It's hard to tell the difference between someone who's temporarily overwhelmed and someone's who's learned that helplessness works for him. It's hard even if you get to know him personally, and impossible for a distant bureaucrat trying to write impersonal rules. But a reliable warning sign is petulant dissatisfaction with the help offered, and not just because it's incredibly annoying.

Posted by: Texan99 at October 17, 2012 09:05 AM

Well said, Texan99.

Posted by: tomg51 at October 17, 2012 09:17 AM

Perfect thought for the day!! And completely agree with Texan! ;-)

Posted by: Nina at October 17, 2012 10:09 AM

Oops, hit the post button too soon. I'll add something else

Another reliable warning sign is passive aggressive behavior. Currently dealing with someone who is exhibiting such. Examples are: Reminders about changing oil in car, but highly evident that person is waiting to be handed $$ to pay for the oil change. Has some serious things to address - but is dragging feet to address them. Expecting hand outs and expecting that whatever decision/path made - one must support no matter what because that person is a family member. The reality checks that are coming are going to be tough to watch. . . .

Posted by: Nina at October 17, 2012 10:19 AM

So...if the country is going to helk in the proverbial handbasket, did we get here by ourselves?

Inquiring minds, yanno.

Posted by: Carolyn at October 17, 2012 11:24 AM

"...people who “projected,” or blamed others for their misfortunes, were much less able to adjust to the changing events in their lives…"

Are you shittin' me? They actually felt the *need* to conduct a study to show what every rational thinking person already knows?
Thank you, Captain Obvious! It's not too far of a leap to conclude that if someone is already blaming others for their own failings, that they already aren't adjusting to the changes in their lives right now! And yet it was presupposed that future circumstances would elicit a different response than that which the person has successfully (in their minds) used before?
Really?
And people got paid grant money for this.
The Stupid....it burns us!

Posted by: DL Sly at October 17, 2012 11:26 AM

"Are you shittin' me? They actually felt the *need* to conduct a study to show what every rational thinking person already knows?"

<snip>

"And people got paid grant money for this.
The Stupid....it burns us!"

Guffaw!

WARNING: Eating vegetable soup while reading Villainous Company commentary during lunch can result in a messy lunch table.

Posted by: Larry at October 17, 2012 11:47 AM

*offers Larry a bottle of VC-approved, partially-hydrogenized, range and organic-free screen cleaner (now with fewer calories!)*

Sorry bout that.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at October 17, 2012 11:51 AM

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