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August 15, 2013

Finally Our Wildest Fantasies Have Come True...

Over the years as the Blog Princess snidely pondered the never ending barrage of women (young and old) who truly, madly, deeply want their fellow Americans to see them in the altogether, she has often wondered what the world would be like if men began doing the same thing?

She has noticed of late several signs that this long awaited happenstance may be just around the corner. From Anthony Weiner's semi-nekkid Tweets to several well known sports stars sending graphic photos of their junk to all and sundry, a growing number of men appear to be discovering the dubious delights of digital oversharing.

Behold! the Dudeoir photoshoot:
Warning, 2nd photo down shows absolutely nothing that Sports Illustrated doesn't show (if one counts body paint photos, considerably less) but it's probably NSFW because let's face it: we're talking about a guy and that's totally different.

Some Dudeoir devotees are keeping their photographic exploits on the down low; sharing their intimate photos with only their significant others and a few hundred thousand of the NY Post's close friends:

Finance worker and former Marine Mark H, who asked The Post not to publish his last name for professional reasons, disrobed for dudeoir as a 2012 Valentine’s present so it would be “insurance against my wife and I ever going through a rocky patch.” The 44-year-old dad of two, from South Florida, paid $500, which included a set of prints, for the shoot at a “clothing optional” Fort Lauderdale hotel. “I wanted [my wife] to see there was more to me than the guy who is the father of her kids who runs errands and pays the bills,” says Mark. “You have to keep the juices flowing so you don’t run into a rut.” He credits his photographer, Noel de Christian, for coaching him on the most effective ways to pose. “He was very good at explaining what women want to see in these types of photos,” adds Mark. “The whole shoot was designed with her in mind — it’s not a case of ‘Hi, here is my penis!’ but a more sensual approach.”

Don't worry, Mr. H... we won't tell a soul. And we're sure no one will recognize you :p

Others are not so prudish old fashioned:

Larger-than-life software engineer Kiran Paul was gifted the dudeoir session by co-workers at his IT company in Oakland, Calif. “Buying a present for me is hard work, but they were sure that anything that doesn’t require pants would work for me,” laughs the 27-year-old bachelor. Before the shoot, he chatted with photographer Mariah Carle about the kind of look he wanted: channeling the ultra-cheesy character Ron Burgundy, played by Will Ferrell, in “Anchorman.” “As soon as I got Mariah’s consent to disrobe, I was feeling proud and comfortable for some reason,” recalls Paul, who uses the pictures, one of which features him naked and holding an inflatable dolphin, on his business card. “I’m also using one of them on LinkedIn, which is going well,” he jokes. “I’m not getting pinged for software engineering positions as much as I used to!” Meanwhile, he is now planning on blowing up the Victorian couch picture and hanging it in his living room.

In between shaking our head and tut-tutting censoriously, we have to admit that this is pretty funny. And though we have always been a huge fan of the male form, we don't think it's an improvement. This can only be because we are prudish and want to control men. Also, for some inexplicable reason, semi-naked men make us feel insecure about our own attractiveness.

What other possible reason could a reasonable adult have for not wanting to see nearly-nekked people of either sex everywhere she goes? Too funny.

Posted by Cassandra at August 15, 2013 07:33 AM

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Comments

*rubs hands gleefully*

If I am not paid the sum of [Dr. Evil]1 billion dollars*[\Dr.Evil] this overweight 30-something will hack into this blog and post Dudeoir photos of myself.

*the first half a billion is extortion, the other half is for the recovery of my self-respect.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at August 15, 2013 12:33 PM

You realize of course that this is a gay plot.

Posted by: George Pal at August 15, 2013 01:00 PM

George, I read about this elsewhere the other day, and the FIRST thing I thought was, "this is ghey".


High five. Fist bump.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at August 15, 2013 01:22 PM

the first half a billion is extortion, the other half is for the recovery of my self-respect.

Yu-ain, you ignorant slut :p

This is all about Male Empowerment.

Posted by: Cass at August 15, 2013 01:25 PM

... to impurify all of our precious bodily fluids?

Posted by: Dr. Strangelove at August 15, 2013 01:27 PM

George, I read about this elsewhere the other day, and the FIRST thing I thought was, "this is ghey".

*Rubbing hands together fiendishly*

Soooooo.... it's gay when women do it too, right?

Posted by: Cass at August 15, 2013 01:27 PM

If you define "gay" as "for the enjoyment of men", sure, why not. :©)

Posted by: Oink at August 15, 2013 01:37 PM

"Soooooo.... it's gay when women..."

Certainly a woman's head can be turned by a fine figure of a man but when it happens it's more likely he's not in the altogether but in a bespoke suit and an imposing vehicle. Accoutrements trump package; ask the Weiner.

Posted by: George Pal at August 15, 2013 02:06 PM

Certainly a woman's head can be turned by a fine figure of a man but when it happens it's more likely he's not in the altogether but in a bespoke suit and an imposing vehicle.

Men certainly like to think that's true. Being female, though, that sounds suspiciously like guys telling gals how we think... or how you think we think :p

Posted by: Cass at August 15, 2013 03:29 PM

Ooooh. Glam shots for guys. Full Monty

Posted by: Gushing Dudette at August 15, 2013 03:31 PM

Hey - my wallet and car keys are up here, Ladies!

Posted by: Dudeoir is my Middle Name at August 15, 2013 04:30 PM

"sounds suspiciously like guys telling gals how we think... or how you think we think :p"

And what has any of this to do with thinking? Women also feel and sense and in neither case, when it comes to the image of the opposite sex, do they do so as commendably (or salaciously) as men. I have yet to hear of the empire or hutch made of women's male fantasies.

Posted by: George Pal at August 15, 2013 06:01 PM

I think Cass' point is that women like the nekkid male form a lot more than you think they do, and like the bespoke suit and imposing car a lot less than you think they do.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at August 15, 2013 06:16 PM

We like the nekkid male form just fine, but I suspect most of us chicks are a lot more comfortable catching an intriguing glimpse of it while a guy is toiling away outdoors than being confronted with a guy who can't wait to show you his pictures, which, you know, eww.

On the other hand, who doesn't include a naked selfie on his business card these days?

Posted by: Texan99 at August 15, 2013 07:35 PM

These are just explicit pron pics. I find folks prefer the subtle suggestion of a nekkid blur on one wheel.

Posted by: Man Riding Unicycle Naked at August 15, 2013 07:50 PM

but I suspect most of us chicks are a lot more comfortable catching an intriguing glimpse of it while a guy is toiling away outdoors

Funny, I would have assumed seeing a nekkid guy walking around in the yard holding hedge shears would have the opposite effect. :-)

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at August 16, 2013 09:15 AM

Hey, hey, hey! This gives me a great idea for a new wing at the Clinton library!

Posted by: Bill Clinton at August 16, 2013 11:57 AM

Just so I'm sure:
1) naked selfies - unfavored
2) naked outside toiling - favored, except while hedge trimming
3) naked cooking, ironing, vacuuming, dish washing - likely favored naked or not

Posted by: spd rdr at August 16, 2013 12:12 PM

naked cooking, ironing, vacuuming, dish washing - likely favored naked or not

Definitely :)

Happy Friday, people.

Posted by: Dudeoir is my Middle Name at August 16, 2013 04:54 PM

Is it just coincidence that the Princess' URL says "biteme" when one hovers on her most recent nom de plume?
Inquiring minds want to know....
0>;~}

Posted by: Snarkammando at August 16, 2013 06:19 PM

This was kind of a "bite me" kind of week :p

Posted by: Cads at August 16, 2013 06:53 PM

Well, when I was 20 or so, and built like an NFL linebacker with washboard abs, I was happy to streak nekkid across the college campus. After all, I felt that I was doing the world a favor by letting them gaze upon my Adonis-like physique.

Now, several decades later, as every body part has gone to hell, I feel I am doing the world a favor by staying fully clothed.

Posted by: a former european at August 16, 2013 10:21 PM

Methinks 'they' call it bumping uglies for a reason. Well formed Nekkid women have long been an object of art for a reason; most artists were men . . .
I personally favor women with a slender or athletic figure, but individual preferences can and do vary; ain't life great? Guess women also have personal preferences . . .

Best Regards,

Posted by: CAPT Mike at August 17, 2013 10:56 PM

The odd thing is that, great Art (which has more than its share of beautiful, nekkid young men) notwithstanding, few of us would be comfortable hanging a large nude in the living areas of their house. If representations are only about the beauty of the human form (and not about sex), why is this?

I have no idea how other people react when they see a very attractive person of the opposite sex in the altogether or near-altogether, but I find those images hard to get out of my head. I'm not particularly shocked at them. It's just that they have a definite effect on me (and it's one that pulls my thoughts in a direction I don't think it's terribly productive for them to go).

I remember one kid in the 8th grade whose parents had hung a huge painting of his mother in a *very* low cut top over the stairs leading down to their basement. It was more than a bit weird.

I have looked with appreciation at many sculptures and paintings of the nude form at museums, but can't recall seeing too many of them hung in people's homes (plenty of other subjects - just not nudes). I tend to think there's a reason for that :p

Posted by: Cass at August 19, 2013 08:15 AM

"I tend to think there's a reason for that"

Might have something to do with the other definition of hung....
0>:~}

Posted by: DL Sly at August 19, 2013 01:10 PM

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