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September 24, 2013

It Was Right Where They Expected It To Be

Under a post by Eric Blair about one of the NY Times' never ending stream of faux "war" articles, Grim commented:

It's probably possible to categorize NYT Trolls in much the way that the TV Tropes website works.

A partial list:

1) Sensitive Man articles: 'As a man, I felt very uncomfortable during the silent meditation at the Buddhist retreat, and the ritual enemas were hard for me to take. In the end, though, I felt completely cleansed by the experience. I am on the way to getting in touch with my feminine side and becoming a better person.'

2) Mommy Wars articles: 'Although it's controversial, half of all mothers are terrible people.' Repeat next week with accusations against the other half.

3) The South Is Hell articles: 'Half church and half Klan rally, this little town we visited for an hour is emblematic of everything wrong with the South and conservatives.' (No actual churches or Klan rallies appear in the article.)

4) Republicans Hate Women-and-or-Science articles. 'Imagine my surprise to learn that my doctor was a Baptist and a donor to conservative causes! Immediately I ran back through twenty years of health advice given me and my children to see if I could spot any signs of ideological hate. Here are my free-association notes from that process.'

5) Racism Is Alive (but only from white people). 'The following anecdote about a particularly stupid clerk at a store I visited last week will demonstrate that white people are completely blind to the evils they inflict on the whole rest of humanity.'


The one that came to the half vast mind of the Editorial Staff was this one:

6. Being an Inconsiderate, Self Absorbed B*tch is So ... Liberating! "After years of complaining that all men are selfish, insensitive clods, I decided to lower myself to their level and embrace the behavior I've been whining about for, like... everrrrrrrrrrrrr. Sure, I'm divorced and living by myself now (well, except for the cats) but on the other hand I'm so much happier..."

"Sort of."

"Except for the "loneliness" and "no sex" parts. And the hypocrisy. And the no sex. But still...."

Humans can rationalize just about anything. And we tend to find exactly what we spend the most time looking for.

Posted by Cassandra at September 24, 2013 07:39 AM

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Well, it didn't take me that long. I found everything I needed in Key West.

1. unicycle
2. warm weather
3. beach
4. intangibles

Posted by: Man Riding Unicycle Naked at September 24, 2013 02:05 PM

The immigrant beehive articles:
Inamorata Concepción had a dream. Having waded across every Central American river between Columbia and North America with her six children, Consuelo, Mercedes, Prudencia, Prospero, and one year old twins Abilio and Pilar, whom she carried on her back the entire trip, she stepped upon the golden banks of the Rio Grande. She made a life for her children in the San Joaquin valley, picking artichokes for ten hours a day, and going to Community College at night. Now, six years later, a revered wet nurse and community organizing advocate for the undocumented, she works tirelessly, signing up the people who are like the people who built this country, for government benefits. She lives every day in terror – the fear of being deported for being undocumented.

When asked how she and other like her coped, she answered, "God will take care of his children".

Posted by: George Pal at September 24, 2013 02:51 PM

Well, it didn't take me that long. I found everything I needed in Key West.


Ouch! :)

Posted by: Cass at September 24, 2013 05:06 PM

When asked how she and other like her coped, she answered, "God will take care of his children".

Ah.... the simple faith of downtrodden folk from other cultures is so very touching :p

Normally, the NYT would make fun of believing in a Supreme Being Who Is Not Barack. But in this case, the reference helps them slam those hypocritical Rethugs RIGHT WHERE THEY LIVE.

Not that the NYT plays for petty, partisan advantage like aforesaid horrid Rethugs, mind you. It's just that they're open to diverse world views.

Posted by: Cass at September 24, 2013 05:09 PM

Brilliant Do-Gooder Young Rich Liberal articles: "Samuel Jones could have put his Yale degree to making himself a fortune, but instead he devoted his young life to a charitable purpose: getting Africa wired with all fluorescent lighting. Between generous Kickstarter gifts from fellow believers and the folly of his parents, Sam has managed to plow nearly a million dollars of wealth into outfitting African hovels with environmentally-friendly lightbulbs they can't afford to replace when they burn out, filled with mercury that will soon pollute their groundwater." (No actual mention of the negative consequences or wasteful pipe-dream quality of Sam's work appear in the article.)

Posted by: Grim at September 24, 2013 05:15 PM

Clueless Intern:
After eight long years at Hope & Wantnott College I was ready to put my hard-earned degree in Neo-Post-Modern Sociology to work making a real difference in people's lives. Imagine my surprise, then, to discover that, in a city teeming with greedy billionaire bankers and homophobic Wall Street executives, there's not a single opening for a entry-level corporate ethicist!

Posted by: spd rdr at September 25, 2013 01:53 PM

...in a city teeming with greedy billionaire bankers and homophobic Wall Street executives...

...in a city teeming with Republicans...

Fixed! Just in case anyone around these parts charges by the word :p

/running for the barricades!

Posted by: Cassandra at September 25, 2013 02:53 PM

Why, oh Why Can't I Maintain a Successful Long-Term Relationship? articles: Surely it can't have anything to do with the fact that the author insists on regaling a million or so of her BFFs with waaaaaay TMI about her latest Main Squeeze, to include her disappointment with his bedroom skills, the frequency with which they make whoopee, and a list of 12 things he's done that totally embarrass her. Because it's all about her.

Posted by: Cassandra at September 25, 2013 03:00 PM

Hey now, let's not impugn the good name of a honest, respectable, invaluable source of information on current affairs, multicultural touchstones, global news and other srs bsns.

I happen to like TVTropes an immense amount, after all! Spend hours, even days immersed in it. Although it's gone slightly downhill over the past 2 years - but still...

Posted by: Gregory Kong at September 27, 2013 03:31 AM