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October 11, 2013

Coffee Snorters: Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home Edition

Obama Everywhere:


This surprised the Editorial Staff:

A state appeals court on Tuesday tossed out child abuse findings against a frustrated Northern California mother who spanked her 12-year-old daughter hard enough with a wooden spoon to cause bruising.

The 6th District Court of Appeal in San Jose reversed the child abuse determination made by the Santa Clara County Department of Social Services. Social workers waned to report Vernica Gonzalez to the state Department of Justice's child abuse database with a "substantiated" abuse determination. That determination was upheld by a trial court judge.

The appeals court said the spanking came close to abuse, but that social workers and the lower court judge failed to consider the family's entire circumstances.

Gonzalez and her husband testified that other forms of punishment such as groundings and taking away her phone had failed to persuade their 12-year-old daughter to do her schoolwork and avoid gang culture. The parents said that other family members had testified that spankings in the household were a rarity.

A rare victory against the Zero Defect Parenting mind set, and in California, no less! Context: it's not just for breakfast anymore.

This, on the otter heiny, should not surprise anyone:

"Nobody really thought about Marilyn Monroe having plastic surgery. It was always speculation - did she or didn't she?" said Martin Nolan, executive director of Julien's Auctions. "They thought she was such a natural beauty, they didn't want to believe."

Gurdin’s notes explain that Monroe had a chin implant in 1950 and the X-rays include images of the star’s nose and chest.

"Also at that time, going back to the 1950s, people didn't go for plastic surgery procedures," Nolan said. "This is very, very new."

We always thought she was beautiful even in the early years, and the biggest part of her beauty came from the joy and infectious sense of fun she was able to project. Sad to think that wasn't enough.

Two articles highlight our schizophrenic attitudes towards pornography. We're not sure whether to file the first one under "All men do... " or "All men lie about...." (two equally idiotic memes):

Just 12 percent of online adults said they watched "adult" videos, with a pretty big gender gap of 25 percent of male respondents vs. 8 percent of female respondents reporting they're watching porn. But since the survey relied on respondents' honesty, Pew notes that "this may reflect a reluctance to report the behavior among some adults."

Some adults? 75% is "some"? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense unless, of course, we admit the possibility that either:

a) "All men" don't actually watch porn. Add that theory to the long, long list of other things that "all men" don't do: watch sports, cheat on their wives, crush the souls of oppressed womynfolk, hate shopping... Then there's the even more deliciously amusing possibility:

b) All men do, but 75% of them are ashamed to admit doing so, even in an anonymous survey.

In other news, the incoherence appears to be of the equal opportunity kind:

Apparently Swarthmore College feminist-activist students hate fraternities so much they want to join them. That’s the circular logic unfolding at the notoriously liberal liberal arts college in Pennsylvania.

The fraternity Phi Psi recently put out a fall rush pledge flier made up of a collage of tiny pictures of mostly half-naked women, and these angry female students have billed that mosaic as sexist, misogynistic gender discrimination.

Apparently feminists at Swarthmore are unaware pornography – watching it, posing for it, making a career out of it – is liberating for women.

...this is the same campus that, last spring, formed a masturbation club. This is the same campus known for Crunkfest, an annual sexcapade typically held in a dorm’s courtyard during Easter weekend. A witness to Crunkfest described it as a “nude celebration” of sorts, in which students take part in circle jerks and similar activities.

This is the same campus that has another spring fling called “Genderf**k” in which students “are expected to defy normal gender standards by cross-dressing and/or wearing very little clothing.”

But those things don’t get public rebukes at Swarthmore – they get celebrated.

And we are supposed to get all up-in-arms over one flier with minuscule pictures of scantily-clad women that you can barely make out unless you squint? The Swarthmore Independent, the conservative campus newspaper, also weighed in on this latest drama with a quasi-eyeroll, and rightly pointed out the flaws in the demand:

While we find the flyers sexist and call on Phi Psi to apologize to the Swarthmore community, campus activists have truly outdone themselves with the ridiculousness of this “defund” movement. Defunding the fraternities on the basis of these flyers, however offensive, would set a dangerous precedent for all funding decisions to follow. Under the petition’s standard, SAC funding could be withheld from any group engaging in speech that any subset of the student body finds offensive.

...Should Genderf**k, with its hyper-sexualized and derogatory “girls wear less” slogan, also get the ax?

Whenever we read idiotic screeds about how "all men do X" or "all women do Y", we can't help imagining hordes of entranced zombies marching in rigid lockstep to the harsh, guttural cadence of their Inner Ovarian or Testicular Overlords.

How do we manage to get through the work day?

The Chill Wind of Hope gooses the Associated Press:

...To bypass journalists, the White House developed its own network of websites, social media and even created an online newscast to dispense favorable information and images...

...Kathleen Carroll, AP's executive editor, said the report highlights the growing threats to independent journalism in a country that has upheld press freedom as a measure of democratic society for two centuries.

Must be part of that whole "restoring American moral legitimacy in the eyes of the global community" The Won kept yammering on about during his first inaugural speech.

Not much gets past the media. It only took them 6 years to notice what was going on right in front of them.

More evidence (as though it were needed!) that the Pachyderm is a wise and noble beast.

Men of VC, PAY ATTENTION! "Science" has spoken:

UPDATE: Wow. Stay Classy, buddy.

The countdown until some blogger starts blathering about "#WARONMEN" starts in ten...nine...eight....

Posted by Cassandra at October 11, 2013 07:23 AM

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My gosh! VC is a veritable suppository for cornucopial learning actiontivities today!

I learned that while 75% of men are either liars or don't have internet service, only 8 percent of women support women's liberation through the arts.

I also learned that college is a lot more than than it used to be, no doubt due to improved antibiotics.

I learned the reason journalists are the target of most Nigerian email scams.

And finally, I learned why it's always the unshaven scuzzy-looking guys that get the hot chicks. "Jackie! I never heard of that. Or whatever."

Baby, I am ready for the weekend!!!

Posted by: spd rdr at October 11, 2013 12:56 PM

I learned that while 75% of men are either liars or don't have internet service, only 8 percent of women support women's liberation through the arts.

OK, that wins Comment of the Day.

Posted by: Cass at October 11, 2013 01:03 PM

So that's the Alpha Male secret technique. I'm glad I don't have to remember to do that. On second thought, it seems a bit creepy. Ladies?

Posted by: htom at October 11, 2013 02:23 PM

I'm musing blankly over the notion that the Won needed to bypass the hostile AP in order to get his message out there in the media.

Posted by: Texan99 at October 11, 2013 03:10 PM

PS, I was pretty surprised by that wooden-spoon article, too, and can only suppose that it demonstrates what an unusual corner of California is San Jose. That's also the source of the recent article quoting the Obamacare supporter as complaining that, while she wanted health insurance for everyone, she'd never dreamed she would have to pay for it personally. The comments to that article displayed a distinctly un-California-like attitude, or so I assumed.

Posted by: Texan99 at October 11, 2013 03:12 PM

Actually, Tex, a really large majority of California -- the state -- is very conservative. (I know, I had a hard time digesting that, too. But then we got stationed to a more remote site away from the large urban zones. Talk about an eye-opener!) Just like many other big states (think Colorado, Oregon, Washington, et al) the libs/progs control their bubble (to reference your recent post) within their urban zones. The rest of the states, though, have real people with jobs and real-life problems to attend to. Those people, as we've seen over time, tend to be considerably more conservative. Unfortunately, they are only to balance out the voting population of the urban areas.

Posted by: DL Sly at October 11, 2013 03:36 PM

That was my experience too, Lord Sly. They did give us Reagan!

Posted by: Cass at October 11, 2013 04:04 PM

Yes , very creepy htom!

Posted by: Cass at October 11, 2013 04:06 PM

That they did.

Oh, you have mail.

Posted by: DL Sly at October 11, 2013 05:24 PM


'wait till your father gets home'
Cry me a river. I was spanked frequently as a kid, mostly because I deserved it. My mother beat my ass with her hand, a nylon hairbrush*, a wooden spoon*, plastic spatulas, a ruler*, a yardstick*, hell, I can't recall it all. I *do* recall the fear if she threatened to 'tell Dad.'

*which was broken on me, at least once

The numbers look about right to me, though I may not be a representative sample. All guys like to look at women, that's simply biology or God's natural plan.
I'll click on the links to look at scantily clad attractive women, and I'm not the least bit ashamed to say so. I'm not much interested in watching 'real' porn (a guy screwing a woman on film) . . .

and yeah, so Swarthmore has problems. Anyone that spends that much time 'gazing at their own navels' is irrelevant.

Overlong handshake (or any other initial personal contact) is not so much a pickup technique, it's just creepy.


Posted by: CAPT Mike at October 12, 2013 01:01 AM

"Overlong handshake (or any other initial personal contact) is not so much a pickup technique, it's just creepy."

Thank you, Capt.! The guy that wants to hold my hand that long better have the other half of my wedding ring set on his hand.

Posted by: DL Sly at October 12, 2013 01:43 PM