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January 22, 2014

21st Century Advice for Parents of Boys

I wonder how many parents have done this?

... advise your son not to have virtual or real sexual contact with someone he doesn't know well.

Encourage your son to avoid sending any pictures of his body using social media. No sexting. No oral sex parties. They should not have sexual contact with someone with whom they have not shared a meal.

The bar for getting to know a person seems to have been considerably lowered with time.

Posted by Cassandra at January 22, 2014 07:21 AM

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A while back, on a marriage board I was on, one couple's fifteen year old son got into trouble this way. He sent nude pictures to someone he thought was a cute girl. Turned out he was wrong and the person tried to blackmail him for thousands of dollars or else they would spam it to all his friends. It's not just girls that need to be careful about sexting/pics, boys can be vulnerable too.

Posted by: colagirl at January 22, 2014 11:01 AM

Good point, colagirl.

You know, I used to tell my sons that sort of thing all the time (people didn't sext back then and anyway my kids didn't have cell phones, Internet capable or otherwise). But I was always telling them that discretion and good judgment in who they associated with - much less had *sex* with! - was not optional.

It's kind of interesting to me that so many boys are sending these kinds of pictures too these days. Supposedly, sexting was some form of patriarchal oppression, yet now we're seeing that a fair number of boys are succumbing to the same peer and competitive pressures that make girls do stupid things.

In other news, water is still wet :p

Posted by: Cassandra at January 22, 2014 12:16 PM

"Instead, talk to your son about the fun and excitement of getting to know someone."
"Gay and straight young men will and should have sexual relationships."
"Intimacy takes time to happen,..."

All over the map a bit are we? First, gotta talk to them about getting to know someone, but next we're told they "...should have sexual relationships". (Why exactly?!?) Only then to jump back again to intimacy take time.
Make up yer mind, lady! Gawd I hate writers like this. Does she have a point besides the top of her head?
Boys have been getting mixed messages since time immemorial, yet nowhere in this *article* is there a mention of a father. It's left benignly generic. Meanwhile, we have study after study showing that a stable, nukular (heh, I said...) family with both mother and father provides the best grounding and opportunity for raising children. This was the traditional family unit for the vast majority of this country's history. Were there outliers? Yes, We're human. But in the overall, grand scheme of things this was the foundation of our culture and society for nearly 200 yrs. Is it any wonder that with the decline of nukular family these past 40 yrs there has also been a decline in the many aspects that were fruits of that labor? Respect and consideration for ones self and others being one of them.

Posted by: DL Sly at January 22, 2014 01:29 PM

I'm still laughing over, "[Boys] should not have sexual contact with someone with whom they have not shared a meal." :p

Ay chihuahua.

Posted by: Cassandra at January 22, 2014 02:58 PM

This one hits kinda close to home right now in that the VES has been in a long-standing relationship with her 15 yr old boyfriend for almost a year now......and have shared many meals!
And I cooked them!!!!1!!eleventy!!!
Aaaahhhhhh, what have I done!!

Posted by: DL Sly at January 22, 2014 03:05 PM

Wait, I thought expecting sex *after* dinner was proof of some sort of rape culture male entitlement?

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at January 22, 2014 04:12 PM

This is an example of women overthinking things:

The correct lesson is to teach boys that they shouldn't have sex with someone that they don't want to live with for a *very* long time.


Posted by: CAPT Mike at January 23, 2014 09:05 PM