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February 05, 2014

Hairy Oppressors from Hell...

Of course you knew we were referring to Beastly Bearded Men and their Facial Hair Flaunting Ways:

...Like countless other histories, [the story of American facial hair] is rife with contradictions. It begins with white Americans at the time of the Revolution who derided barbering as the work of “inferiors.” It continues with black entrepreneurs who turned it into a source of wealth and prestige. And it concludes with the advent of the beard—a fashion born out of desperation but transformed into a symbol of masculine authority and white supremacy.

Yep. That's exactly what the Blog Princess thinks whene'er she doth espy a manly mug sprouting a veritable forest of whiskers... THERE GOES YET ANOTHER DEEPLY SCARY SYMBOL OF MASCULINE AUTHORITY/WHITE SUPREMACY. There are days when she doesn't know if her delicate ladyparts can bear the sight of one more "potent.symbol.of.mastery". But one thing's for certain: all this talk of "manly appendages" and rampant, unrepentant Othering is leaving her feeling downright tingly.

Good nightshirt. We're not sure we even want to know what this means:

Johnson’s diary even refers to a moment of unexpected intimacy between two townsmen: “Mr [Blank],” Johnson confided, “attempted to suck Mr [Blank]s El panio.” Just as Johnson had intended, no one discovered this record until long after he had died.

Indeed. We are thinking that delays of this sort are probably a very good thing.

More patriarchal oppression here and here:

Young Romney, showing early signs of the sociopathic tendencies breezy leadership style that would one day shower him with undeserved race, gender, and class privileges, grabbed a pair of scissors, rounded up a few classmates, and...did Lauber's hair. Sadly, this was not to be Young Mitt's last foray into the wild and woolly world of non-consensual makeovers, though the obvious connection to Barack Obama's startling evolution on gay marriage may require a bit of explaining...

Thankfully, would-be explainers are as abundant as the hair on a shameless oppressor's mug.

Posted by Cassandra at February 5, 2014 12:26 PM

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Comments

You know, if this keeps up, there's going to come a time when I just stop worrying about how oppressive I look to others. I might grow a massive beard, wear a leather jacket, ride a motorcycle with crosses painted on it, and carry a big knife.

I mean, why not?

Posted by: Grim at February 5, 2014 01:50 PM

I might grow a massive beard, wear a leather jacket, ride a motorcycle with crosses painted on it, and carry a big knife. I mean, why not?

Exactly :)

Posted by: Cassandra at February 5, 2014 02:27 PM

And that just about sums up the news for today....

Posted by: Hairy Reasoner at February 5, 2014 06:53 PM

I grew my beard to oppress shaving. It worked.
LAlso, I am confused by the phrase "undeserved race, gender, and class privileges." Are there are deserved race, gender, and class privileges? And if so, who gets them?
Oh... wait...

Posted by: spd rdr at February 5, 2014 07:43 PM

I just asked, and she says it's what makes me her fuzzy-face, claiming that it shows masculine authority or white supremacy is :snort: (I did not know my wife could :snort:), and that the handlebar mustache (well, maybe by Movember next year) is pure silliness on my part. She does not like the smell of Beeswork mustache wax, and does like the smell of Dashing Dan's Vanilla Oak. I'll experiment further. Now, it's just long enough to be a nuisance when I eat or drink, not long enough to stay groomed out of my mouth.

Posted by: htom at February 5, 2014 08:37 PM

I grew my beard to oppress shaving. It worked.

spd, you ignorant manslut. Don't try your coded sexist dogwhistles on us! We see how you are... oh yes, we see.

When we womyn are forced by the patriarchy to shave our legs, armpits, and other lady areas instead of weaving our bodily hair into beautiful and natural decorative braids as Mother Gaia CLEARLY intended, shaving is properly interpreted as a perverse and unnatural act which only proves the existence of the brutish masculine desire to control women's bodies.

But when men arrogantly and rudely refuse to shave their own naturally occurring facial hair, shaving takes on another interpretation - one that reinforces the radfem Weltanschaung of men as the primary source of all that is evil and wrong/bad in the world. Razor bumps and nicks notwithstanding, WE KNOW that you are doing this on porpoise to signal your barely concealed desire to steal womyn's cornflakes.

Or possibly rape us and reinstate slavery. We haven't decided yet, but we'll let you know when we have decree... errr.... figured that out.

LAlso, I am confused by the phrase "undeserved race, gender, and class privileges." Are there are deserved race, gender, and class privileges?

Yes, but only where oppressed minorities are concerned. To right ancient wrongs that may have occurred long before you were born, you should just shut up and hand over 60% of your take home pay.

To right ancient wrongs. And also, to allow us greater "economic freedom" (defined as working part time and then claiming the resulting economic inequality as evidence that even more redistribution of wealth is needed before all this glorious self-imposed inequality destroys the planet).

Posted by: WomynKynd at February 6, 2014 08:38 AM

To right ancient wrongs that may have occurred long before you were born, you should just shut up and hand over 60% of your take home pay.
First of all, young lady, no "ancient wrongs" occurred prior to my birth, as I am the original "Ancient Wrong." Secondly, as perpetual penance for my being the original Ancient Wrong, I already hand over 100% of my take home pay to the perpetually Mrs. Right.
So get in line, Tootsie.

Posted by: spd rdr at February 6, 2014 10:00 AM

Hey.... THAT'S NOT FUNNY! :)

Actually it is funny, but I'll never admit that. So there.

Posted by: WomynKynd at February 6, 2014 11:03 AM

"WE KNOW that you are doing this on porpoise to signal your barely concealed desire to steal womyn's cornflakes."

If they ain't frosted, at this point, what difference does it make!?

Posted by: Snarkammando at February 6, 2014 01:00 PM

This is America.
Young men sometimes choose to grow a beard, just to prove they can.
Old liberals sometimes grow a beard, just to pretend they are men.
Cheers.

Posted by: CAPT Mike at February 13, 2014 12:57 AM

"Old liberals sometimes grow a beard, just to pretend they are men."

*snort!*
0>;~]

Posted by: DL Sly at February 13, 2014 02:23 PM

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