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February 06, 2014

How Guilty Are You?

There's normal guilt, "Jewish Mutha" guilt, old-style Soviet Russia "You got a larger slice of beet than I did" guilt, and then's there's Progressive Guilt. Now, the good comrades over at The People's Cube know guilt when they see it, and they have an idea that just might be the next presidential pivot.

Progressive Guilt Chart.png

"Now that the properly conditioned guilt-ridden voters have elected the first Certified-Oppressed-Minority™ president, America has officially entered a new Guilted Age. The Guilted Age is similar to the Gilded Age, only instead of being motivated by the acquisition of gold, the nation is motivated by the distribution of Guilt™.

A guilty electorate is a less demanding electorate: beggars are not choosers. Collective remorse makes the masses more malleable. Workers toil harder for less pay and donate surpluses to progressive causes within the hope that it would offset their culpability for having the wrong color, ethnicity, religion, zip code, profession, hobbies, vehicles, grocery bags, communing and shopping patterns, taste in food, living standard higher than in Zimbabwe, and exhaling the CO2 while breathing.

~ The pursuit of happiness in the Guilted Age becomes to mean this: the stronger your guilt, the happier you are to give your stuff to us. We call it Sharing™."

Head on over for the rest. Don't forget to take the Guilt Test and let us know how much you should really be Sharing™

By the way, the Dark Lord scored 480 on the guilt scale. I was hoping for at least my credit score, but, alas, it was not to be.
heh
0>;~}

Posted by DL Sly at February 6, 2014 10:14 AM

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Comments

640. I am a non-persyn.

Posted by: Cass at February 6, 2014 01:13 PM

Your week's beet ration will be confiscated for the greater good, Comrade Cassandranitanova. Thank you for Sharing™.
More confiscations will be considered as your guilt is reassessed.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 6, 2014 01:25 PM

I scored 575

Re-education camp, here I come!

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at February 6, 2014 01:34 PM

Only one week's ration! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!

Posted by: Cass at February 6, 2014 01:49 PM

Ahhh, but I did not say which week....but you can trust that your government will not deliberately inconvenience you for the greater good of the Greater Good.
Don't call us.
We're already listening.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 6, 2014 01:58 PM

MOM!!!

IS THAT YOU?

Posted by: Cass at February 6, 2014 02:09 PM

Ahhh, but I did not say which week....but you can trust that your government will not deliberately inconvenience you for the greater good of the Greater Good.

I thought the sequester was over?

Posted by: Cass at February 6, 2014 02:10 PM

"I thought the sequester was over?"

I am altering the deal.
Pray I do not alter it further.

0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 6, 2014 02:17 PM

520. How'd you come out so low, Sly?

Posted by: Grim at February 6, 2014 08:39 PM

Yanno, I've been wondering that myself, Grim. The only answer I can come up with is I didn't answer a couple of questions for which there weren't any answers for me...not even those with the most guilt points assessed fit an answer for me to those questions. So, I passed them by. I'm guessing that since I didn't give an answer, there weren't any points to give or take away.
If so, I gamed the test without trying - which, in retrospect, is kinda disappointing since it would have been so much more fun as a deliberate act.
Heh
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 6, 2014 10:10 PM

What about someone whose *income* is $500,000 or much greater, but who creates no wealth at all? For example: Al Gore, the Clintons, the typical university president, CEO of a subsidized and hopeless "Green" company...

I imagine that such people mostly feel much more entitlement than guilt...but they do believe that the *rest* of us should feel guilty.

Posted by: david foster at February 7, 2014 02:04 PM

455.
Must be an inherent flaw in the quiz; friends have described me as right of Atilla, and not in a nice way.

Posted by: CAPT Mike at February 13, 2014 12:52 AM

I suspect, CAPT, that you, like me, didn't answer some questions for which there weren't any appropriate or possible answers that fit you personally. If you didn't answer, you didn't receive a scoring for that question - up or down.
0>;~}

Posted by: DL Sly at February 13, 2014 02:25 PM

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