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February 26, 2014

Oh Yeah, They Really Said That

East entrance to Glacier Park.jpg

Some people. Ya gotta love 'em, even when they're this "Pragmatically Challenged". I mean, I'm sure some of them "mean well",...well, okay, there are a few that think they're just staying in some nouveau rustic hotel -- a hotel without any walls, electricity, bathrooms, or housekeeping for that matter,....I just wish they wouldn't vote. The following are just a few of the comments left by hikers on Forest Service registration forms at the end of their trip.

"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."
"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."
"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."
"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."
"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."
"Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."
"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."

My three favorites from these wise and worldly travellers?
"Need more signs to keep area pristine."
"A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead."
And, last but certainly not least (hilarious), "The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."

Well, of course not! How else are we knuckle-dragging, Bible-clinging, gun-toting conservatives supposed to meet in private to drink copious amounts of beer and make plans for world domination?
Silly people.

Posted by DL Sly at February 26, 2014 07:07 PM

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Comments

Oh, no...it's not really that bad, is it? Please, stop, I want to keep some faith in humanity, somewhere, somehow, please stop....

Posted by: Roz at February 26, 2014 09:47 PM

The paint pots stink. Please fix.

Remove crud on the wooden walks by the geysers!

The geysers are not well-timed.

Giant Geyser does not go off frequently enough.

My child was splashed by the Fountain geyser; please turn it down.

The bear scratched my car when I would not give more marshmallows.

The geyser went off early and we had to wait.


... from memory, but oh, things have not changed from the 1950's.


Where are the polar bears?

LIVE mose[sic] on the road!

Our children saw wolfs[sic] killing a dear! This must be prohibited!

Posted by: htom at February 27, 2014 12:13 AM

I'm sorry to say that these are actual comments, Roz. However, your faith in humanity need not be disabused. You are, after all, here lamenting the loss of common sense amongst those who also ponder the when's, why's and where's of the loss as well.
I just also happen to think that some of those who are *so* challenged need to be made fun of in order to discourage the rest. Sometimes laughter is the best answer to inanity, but please continue to come back. We always welcome new points of view (that's why I'm still tolerated!) around here.
0>;~]

"The geysers are not well-timed."
"Where are the polar bears?"
"Our children saw wolfs[sic] killing a dear! This must be prohibited!"

Oh. Those. Are. Classic! I'm going to be laughing my ass off for days over those, htom.
Thanks!
Sorry, Roz....
0>;~]

Posted by: DL Sly at February 27, 2014 12:23 AM

There be trolls in them thar hills!

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at February 27, 2014 08:45 AM

Hi Sly!
While I don't really wish to defend the inane, having done a lot of backpacking & camping in the 60's & 70's as a Boy Scout, I'll note:

- the note about avoiding trails going 'uphill' is actually shorthand for a common complaint about inadequate 'backtracks' (trail angles up a hill, then angles back, rather than straight up or down). These make the hill easier to climb, and helps reduce erosion. some strong (asshole) hikers like to cut the corners to shorten their hike.

- I promise you many of these remarks were sarc my the young men that make most of the hikes.

- 'Our' wonderful National Park Service has encouraged some of these fools by paving roads into Yellowstone (plus most Parks Back East), and also paving far too many trails in the name of handicap access. Palm Springs built a Tram up San Jacinto Peak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_Springs_Aerial_Tramway), and CO paved a road to the top of Pikes Peak. Hell's Bells, WA paved a road to the top of Hurricane Ridge in Olympic Nat'l Park (incredible view, BTW).

Best Regards,

Posted by: CAPT Mike at February 28, 2014 01:09 AM

CAPT Mike,
I used to work for the Forest Service in my previous *life* (aka before getting married), so I know well what a switchback is, and yeah, I'm sure some of the comments were the results of adolescent "humor". However, having been presented with just such a person who actually writes these kind of comments many times in previous jobs, I'll hold to my broad-brush position of inanity deserving to be ridiculed for such.
And, don't get me started on the national parks debacle....
0>;~]

Posted by: DL Sly at February 28, 2014 03:08 AM

The wilderness is being tamed. :(

Posted by: htom at February 28, 2014 03:52 PM

"The wilderness is being tamed. :("

By those who purport to be *preserving* it for future generations. Future generations will never know what the real wilderness was like if *preserving* it continues in the manner it has this past decade or more.
0>;~|

Posted by: DL Sly at February 28, 2014 04:08 PM

... paved Paradise and put up a parking lot.


Ceee ment.


With handicapped places.


and ramps.


ain't nothin gonna stop us now!

Posted by: htom at February 28, 2014 08:44 PM

Didn't know it was a mission statement at the time, did we?

Posted by: DL Sly at February 28, 2014 08:47 PM

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