March 01, 2014
I can't wait to see what you guys come up with for this week's picture to snarkify:
Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you!
Posted by DL Sly at March 1, 2014 04:10 PM
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There are 8 women in the photo. It's the trailer for the remake of the James Bond film "Octopussy."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 1, 2014 04:38 PM
"In a scene reminiscent of 'Caddyshack'--the Aquatic Dancing Team expressed horror at finding a Baby Ruth bar in the pool,"
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 1, 2014 04:42 PM
It wasn't until the middle of the synchronized swimming event that the unfortunate after effects of the pre swim burrito lunch materialized.
Posted by: Pogue at March 1, 2014 04:46 PM
After his escape from Seaworld, Norman, the playful octopus, liked to goose passing swimmersby -- sometimes using all eight tentacles for a real crowd-pleaser.
Posted by: a former european at March 1, 2014 05:35 PM
If a synchronized swimming team sees it's reflection in a mirror, it means 6 more weeks of searing memories.
John Kerry was unavailable for comment.
Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at March 1, 2014 08:24 PM
(AP) In a stunning reversal of fortune, the International Synchronized Hydraulic Effervescing Federation (ISHEF) had disqualified the team from Nauru from competition for one year. The team had failed doping tests registering incredibly high and dangerous levels of phosphates. A Government spokesperson from Nauru denounced the decision insisting that linking the tiny island nation’s diminishing sole natural resource, phosphates, and the teams remarkable success smacked of racially inspired speculation.
The IOC, nevertheless announced today it had accepted the International Synchronized Hydraulic Effervescing Federation (ISHEF) bid to include the sport at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Brazil.
Posted by: George Pal at March 2, 2014 10:44 AM
The American Energy Independence Association reports in its industry trade association magazine GAS that it has high hopes for anthropogenically generated energy. The energy produced in the demonstration pictured here spun a hamster wheel for 16 seconds. “AGE holds much promise” said a spokesperson for the Association.
Environmentalists, Humanists, and the Obama administration have all come out against “farting” and documentarian Josh Fox announced Gasland Deux has been ‘greenlighted’.
Posted by: George Pal at March 2, 2014 10:45 AM
"Ordered to equip the Synchronized Swimming Team with the pink bathing suits specified for the picture, the Wardrobe Manager mistakenly grabbed the box of edible pink underwear scheduled for an upcoming porno film. The performers were angry as the suits dissolved, but the anger turned to terror as the dissolving suits attracted schools of nibbling fish."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 11:28 AM
"The Synchronized Swim Team World Tour came to a tragic end when they were booked into a Pirhana-filled river in Brazil."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 12:59 PM
I can't help but think of Mel Brooks "The Inquisition" number with the aquatic scene in "History of the World..."
Starts at 5:50.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 01:07 PM
"Due to unexpected retirements during his second term, Barack Obama was able to appoint fully eight justices to the Supreme Court -- here pictured during the annual beach party that became their tradition just before the beginning of the winter session."
Posted by: Grim at March 2, 2014 02:17 PM
In what must be considered a new World's Record, "Larry the SCUBA Flasher" claimed 8 new victims with one "display".
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 03:51 PM
Having survived the ditching of their aircraft, the Stewardesses were confronted with a true Hobson's Choice --whether to get into the life raft with the men they had been flying to a nudist convention.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 04:06 PM
Where the hell is that "Dum-dum dum-dum... dum-dum dum-dum..." music coming from??
Posted by: OBloodyHell, "Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses." at March 2, 2014 05:12 PM
In the news today: Among all the other things, ObamaCare is revealed to not cover synchronized swimming accidents...
Posted by: OBloodyHell, "Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses." at March 2, 2014 05:14 PM
}}} and documentarian Josh Fox announced Gasland Deux has been ‘greenlighted’.
Ummm... George, there's already been a sequel.
You'd be looking for "Gasland Troisième".
Yeah, the notion nauseates me, too...
Posted by: OBloodyHell, "Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses." at March 2, 2014 05:21 PM
"From the look on their faces, the true sexes of the Transgendered Synchronized Swimming Team was no longer in doubt once the frigid waters reached testicle depth."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 05:28 PM
"The elderly ladies enjoyed their swimming pool exercises together--UNTIL it was revealed that one of them suffered from incontinence."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 05:31 PM
Hoping to capitalize on the current crop of Zombie films like 'The Walking Dead', the studio released the sequel--"The Swimming Dead."
It is a sure lock on the award for "Best Makeup" for the look in their eyes and on their faces.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 05:37 PM
"How come YOU GUYS get the lifeboats? What ever happened to WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST?"
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 05:39 PM
Yet another theory was disproved Superior, it's said never gives up its dead when these bodies floated to the surface. Gordon Lightfoot was WRONG.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 2, 2014 05:58 PM
These caption contests by themselves make the blog worth the price of admission.
Posted by: CAPT Mike at March 2, 2014 07:59 PM
"...worth the price of admission."
This blog is free to access....whaaaayyddahminit!
Wha'chu mean by dat, CAPT?
Posted by: DL Sly at March 2, 2014 09:22 PM
The looks on the faces of the swimmers remind me of the comedy/tragedy theatre masks of Greek mythology DARE to compare for yourself!
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 3, 2014 10:38 AM
In Greek mythology, "Aphrodite rose from the waves of the sea on a bed of foam." She embodies sexuality, love, physical attraction--enchanting all who viewed her. She had a beautiful body, and was eternally young. (Kind of like Cass on the masthead of this blog!) :)
Obviously, some Beta Testing was done first. This photo shows the original contenders--none was selected--but they got the "rising from the sea" and the "sea-foam" right.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 3, 2014 11:55 AM
On Monday, the Russian State Department responded to the United States' stern warning over it's actions in Ukraine with nothing but this picture of the Russian syncronized swimming team.
US officials are still uncertain of its meaning.
Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at March 3, 2014 12:45 PM
I think it means that the gals have just seen Putin with his shirt off again.
No similar photo of Obama with his shirt off is known to exist.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 3, 2014 02:05 PM
Posted by: Melissa Fletcher at March 3, 2014 03:31 PM
Learned how to hyperlink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZegQYgygdw">aquatic scene from History of the World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZegQYgygdw">aquatic scene from History of the Worldstarts at 5:50 into the video.
The swimmers are better looking than the caption contest photo.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 3, 2014 04:06 PM
Forget that "Learned how to hyperlink" statement. :)
Starts at 5:50
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 3, 2014 04:10 PM
Unbeleivably, the judges completely overlooked Marie's gaff and Team Zombie cruised easily past the Golden Ghouls to claim their 3rd consecutive championship.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 3, 2014 06:01 PM
Posted by: spd rdr at March 3, 2014 06:08 PM
Al Gore just announced his new program to save the polar bears by adding them to synchronized swimming events... In other news, Papa Legba announced he's never going near swimming pools again...
Posted by: Azrael Eshu at March 3, 2014 08:06 PM
Bill Clinton just dove in.
Posted by: CAPT Mongo at March 4, 2014 07:49 AM
The administration strongly defended OSHA's decision to require electric swimsuits in all non-union sporting events, citing the regulation's proven effectiveness in the prevention of accidental drowning.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 4, 2014 02:42 PM
The Syncronized Swim Team discovers that their "waterproof makeup" is actually decoupage varnish.
Posted by: bud at March 4, 2014 04:10 PM
Although championed in the press as evidence of Obama's promise to reform practices permitted under the by the Bush administration, some questioned the effectiveness of "water boring" as a means of extracting information from suspected terrorists.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 4, 2014 04:13 PM
Several of the swimmers missed the memo to trim their toenails prior to beginning their routine with predictable consequences.
Posted by: vet66 at March 4, 2014 04:42 PM
Dr. Evil's nefarious plan to secretly contaminate the city's water supply with Red Bull seemed to go swimmingly, at first.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 4, 2014 05:41 PM
Though 8 women are pictured, in reality, there is a 9th member of the Swim Team. As shown in this photo Hillary never mastered floating vertically, due to her large cankles.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 4, 2014 06:43 PM
Sometimes, a mystery may be solved by looking at it from a different angle
In this case, looking at the ladies from UNDERWATER only added another dimension to the mystery.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 4, 2014 07:00 PM
It's nearly six p.m., and only one of these women knows "what's for dinner."
Posted by: spd rdr at March 4, 2014 07:34 PM
It only took 24 seconds for the entire synchronized swim team to learn than L'Oreal Paris Voluminous Power Volume 24 Hour Waterproof Mascara.... wasn't.
Posted by: Cassandra at March 5, 2014 06:39 AM
Truth is funnier than fiction. Based on a Weekly Standard article today--you can imagine the following:
"Doctors debated for hour on how to assign a code to the injuries to these women " From the actual article "There are 155,000 codes for any conceivable (or UNCONCEIVABLE) circumstance, like " code V9027XA: “Drowning and submersion due to falling or jumping from burning water-skis, initial encounter.” In any case, ICD-10 has those covered, too. There is a code for a mere “burn due to water-skis on fire” (V9107XA) and for someone being “hit or struck by falling object due to accident on water-skis” (V9137XA) or jumping from “crushed water-skis” (V9037XD). More generally, there’s “other injury due to accident to water-skis” (V9187X) and “other injury due to other accident on board water-skis” (V9387XA). And there’s the rather inexplicable code V9227XA: “Drowning and submersion due to being washed overboard from water-skis.”
In frustration, the doctors decided it wasn't "burning water skis" at all, and coded the swimmers injuries to " T63622A (Toxic effect of contact with other jellyfish, intentional self-harm, initial encounter)"
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:13 PM
Chester's new Speedo caused quite a stir at water aerobics class.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 5, 2014 12:30 PM
"Fresh from their success in forcing the reform of the health-care industry, the Obama Administration mandated reform of all athletic competition. In the case of water events, they mandated that swimmers wear "floaties" on their feet to prevent drowning. In this photo the tragic results of the ill-considered dictum are shown. There were no survivors.
By Executive Order, enforcement of the edict was delayed until AFTER the elections.
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:32 PM
Link didn't work--try again. this photo
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:35 PM
Copy and paste
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:38 PM
Although seats for the Las Vegas event quickly sold out, some still questioned the wisdom of moving the Ice Dancing competition to a outdoor venue.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 5, 2014 03:19 PM
Although it quickly proved itself a much safer alternative to traditional floor exercises, for bloggers and grandmothers Underwater Team Trampoline still took a bit of getting used to.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 5, 2014 04:17 PM
"Nikki, the 9th member of the swim team (not pictured here) was a much better swimmer than the rest. Fresh from their success with "Income Equality", the Obama Administration ordered "Swimming Equality" and decreed that a weight should be strapped to her ankle--then blamed her when she could not keep up."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 04:51 PM
The swim team+ practice was going well, but the their confidence turned to terror when they realized that they were about to experience the same fate as the Tidy-Bowl Man
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 05:10 PM
And here we have a time-lapse photograph of Caption Judge DL Sly as she begins her deliberations.
Posted by: spd rdr at March 7, 2014 11:55 AM
Actually, I've been on the road. Judgement should be up tomorrow.
Posted by: DL Sly at March 8, 2014 11:19 PM
Two of the girls are trans-dressers, and it shows OMG. drmrs 3/30/2014
Posted by: drmrs at March 29, 2014 05:44 PM