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March 17, 2014

Fun St. Paddy's Day Facts

Did you know these facts about Saint Patrick's Day? We didn't:

WE SHOULD REALLY WEAR BLUE

Saint Patrick himself would have to deal with pinching on his feast day. His color was “Saint Patrick’s blue,” a light shade. The color green only became associated with the big day after it was linked to the Irish independence movement in the late 18th century.

IT USED TO BE A DRY HOLIDAY

For most of the 20th century, Saint Patrick’s Day was considered a strictly religious holiday in Ireland, which meant that the nation’s pubs were closed for business on March 17. (The one exception went to beer vendors at the big national dog show, which was always held on Saint Patrick’s Day.) In 1970, the day was converted to a national holiday, and the stout resumed flowing.

THERE ARE NO FEMALE LEPRECHAUNS

Don’t be fooled by any holiday decorations showing lady leprechauns. In traditional Irish folk tales, there are no female leprechauns, only nattily attired little guys.

WARONWOMEN!!!!!!!!11! :p

We feel so much better, having gotten that out of our system. We didn't do too well on this St. Paddy's day quiz (6/10). Maybe you all will do better on this one (11/16)! Or you could check out all the St. Paddy's Day posts at Grim's place.

Oh well, when all else fails there are always Irish jokes. This oldie-but-goody is arguably our favorite:

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Seamus O'Connor and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"Why, that little sh*t, O'Connor," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand?"

[wait for it...]

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Connor's breast... and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Posted by Cassandra at March 17, 2014 07:42 AM

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Father O'Reilly visited a Catholic priest in South Texas, and they fell to discussing regional vocabulary. "Father," asked the Texan, "is there a Gaelic word for 'mañana'?" Father O'Reilly considered carefully, then answered: "I don't think, in the Gaelic language, there is a worrrrrd that exprrresses quite so much urrrrrgency."

Posted by: Texan99 at March 17, 2014 02:53 PM

I love it - hadn't heard that one!

Posted by: Cassandra at March 17, 2014 03:13 PM

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ”There’s a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every one you buy.”

The Scot says, ”That’s nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.”

At this point the Englishman is feeling outdone.

The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ”That’s nothing. In Dublin there’s this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.” The Scot and Englishman are amazed, and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot?

He replies ”No, but my sister has been there several times.”

Posted by: Cassandra at March 17, 2014 03:26 PM

Thank you Cass!

Posted by: CAPT Mike at March 17, 2014 03:47 PM

Early one morning, a man is out golfing, all by himself on the green, not a soul in sight.

He strikes a fine drive and, to his horror, sees a small man standing in the middle of the fairway, and to his dismay, the ball hits the little guy in the forehead, knocking him down!

He rushes up, praying all along that the man is unharmed, and, to his relief, the man is slowly coming to his senses as he approaches.

"There, my man, be still for a moment!!" The golfer says, "That was quite a lick you took, faith and begorra!! I'm sorry, I never saw you there, somehow!!"

The little man shook his head, and said, "Well, intentional or not, you've got me! I'll give you a wish, lad, or I'm not a leprechaun!"

The golfer says, "No, sir, I'm sorry to have hurt you, I couldn't take anything from you. I just wouldn't be a good catholic Irishman if I did that."

"Irish, are ye?" the leprechaun says.

"Aye, and proud of it!!" the golfer replies, "But if you're ok, I'll be playin' through, if you don't mind. I've only got a little time to finish me game o'golf!" And with that, he began to play on.

The leprechaun, amused by his devotion, says to himself, "Well, then, I guess I'll have to come up with my own reward for such a fine Irish lad. What would a young lad like that wish for, indeed?".

After a moment's thought, he snaps his fingers, and says, "I know, a fine Irish laddie like that would wish for a fine time with all the ladies he could hope for! So it shall be!"

Some months later, the golfer is once more out on the green, early in the morning, and he spots the little man again, this time after his shot has landed. As he approaches the leprechaun, the leprechaun, recognizing him, smiles and says, "Hail, fellow, how is your love life?"

The young man, somewhat reluctantly comments, "I have to say, I find myself in a fine pitch with the ladies about once or twice a month."

Mystified, the leprechaun replies, "Once or twice a month? So rarely? How can that be?"

Sheepishly, the young man answers, "Well, for a priest in a small parish, it's actually quite a lot!!"

Posted by: OBloodyHell, "Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses." at March 18, 2014 02:40 AM

A Brit, a Scot, and an Irishman are sitting at a bar. The Brit discovers there's a fly in his beer, so he sets down the pint and requests a new one from the barkeep. The Scot also discovers a fly in his beer, so he picks it out and goes on drinking. The Irishman discovers a fly in his beer, so he pulls it out and starts shaking it yelling, "Spit it out, ye little bugger! Spit it out!"

One day O'Malley comes down from the brewery to deliver sad news to Mrs. Flannery.
"Mary Kate, I'm sad t' say Sean fell in one of the vats of beer and drowned down at the brewery today."
"Oh NO!" she cried, "That's terrible, he didn't suffer did he?"
"I don't think so," says O'Malley. "He climbed out to pee a few times, and he seemed happy enough then."

Posted by: MikeD at March 18, 2014 08:39 AM

my thanks to both OBH and MikeD!

Posted by: CAPT Mike at March 20, 2014 07:24 PM

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