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April 01, 2014

Great Moments in Scientific Journalism

Surely the Editorial Staff can't be the only ones who found this sentence amusing:

...thankfully, the prestigious journal PNAS found this research sufficiently compelling to publish in its gilded pages.

Since we're doing double entendre with a half twist of lemon this morning, this just seems like gilding the willy:

Holly Wilson: About a year ago, I was at a gallery where I had made a contract to show my work. We’d worked out an agreement where I’d get two-thirds of the commission when I sold a piece, and the gallery would get the rest. The opening went really well. I sold a beautiful bronze piece. But when I came back to the gallery the next day, they wanted to revise the arrangement. All of a sudden, they wanted to split the commission 50/50. I had this sinking feeling. I’ve been casting bronze for 20 years, but it was clear that the gallery didn’t value what I was doing and that it treated me like I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t breathe. My knees were shaking. I was just insanely mad. I called my husband and said, “What would you do in this situation?” and he said, “I would hold my own.” I realized that if I only had a dick, the gallery wouldn’t be doing this to me. The only thing coming between me and the man across the table was the fact that I didn’t have a dick. Slate: Now, you can whip it out of your pocket and say, “Here it is.”

Wilson: To be clear, I’m not slapping it on the table or threatening people with my tiny dick. It’s more about reminding ourselves that the only reason we’re being devalued is because of this ridiculous appendage we don’t have. That day, the only thing in my pocket was a stick of ChapStick, and I put my hand in my pocket and held on to that ChapStick while I stuck up for myself through the negotiation. I made a joke about it to my husband: I told him I should have a little bronze dick that I could put in my pocket, so I could hold on to the little dick whenever I had trouble. Though there’s humor there, there’s also real statement—wow, here’s what’s been keeping me from this job, this thing right here in my hand. Bringing your dick to the table has more to do with yourself. It’s not going to change a gallery owner’s opinion of me, but it could remind me that I am good enough and deserve to be sitting at that table.

And you know this only happened because you're a woman how, exactly? How self absorbed does a person have to be to think that unscrupulous businesses never try to take advantage of men? If the only way you can convince yourself that agreements should be honored (or that you deserve to be treated fairly) is to pretend you have a penis, wethinks the real sexism problem lies in your own mind.

If only there were a political movement, whose aim it was to empower women to stand on their own two feet and respect themselves instead of continually demanding that other people value them!

UPDATE: Unrelated, except that it involves Scientists bravely exploring the Multiverse so you don't have to. Beer: is there anything it can't do?

Beer-bathed pork formed fewer potentially cancerous chemicals than non-marinaded pork when grilled close to hot charcoal in a recent experiment by Portuguese and Spanish chemists.

Black beer, like a stout or porter, proved more effective than pilsners at preventing the formation of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs), worrisome chemicals formed in smoked and grilled fatty meats. The European Union regulates levels of PAHs as potential carcinogens, following concerns raised in a 2002 report by the European Commission’s Scientific Committee on Food.

You're welcome, Sly :p

Posted by Cassandra at April 1, 2014 08:02 AM

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The Peckerwood Auxilliary of the Bitch and Moan Society announced it had filed a complaint with the The Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice demanding bronze labia also be made available. Men, they said, often feel a distinct disadvantage at having only half the capacity of women to bitch and moan and the trinket would be empowering - and no small comfort.

Posted by: George Pal at April 1, 2014 10:40 AM

It absolutely couldn't have been because the gallery owners had learned that this particular twit's knees would start trembling and that she would lose the power of speech if they even hinted they might be threatening to break a contract. Boo hoo, I'm a girl and boys are mean.

Posted by: Texan99 at April 1, 2014 11:18 AM

It ain't what's lacking between your legs, honey. It's what's lacking between your ears.

Posted by: Yu-Ain Gonnano at April 1, 2014 11:49 AM


And y'all doubted my *science*.

Posted by: DL Sly at April 1, 2014 01:21 PM

Actually Sly, I've done a great deal of research on that topic . . .

Posted by: CAPT Mike at April 1, 2014 05:05 PM

It absolutely couldn't have been because the gallery owners had learned that this particular twit's knees would start trembling and that she would lose the power of speech if they even hinted they might be threatening to break a contract.

How much you want to bet she's related to Nancy Hopkins? (the one who gets the vapors when hears something sexist but DON'T-YOU-DARE-QUESTION-WHETHER-SHE'S-AS-TOUGH-AS-ANY-MAN!!!!)

Posted by: Sometimes You're Carry-on, Sometimes You're Just an Old Bag... at April 1, 2014 06:33 PM

"It ain't what's lacking between your legs, honey."

Actually....I think it is.

Posted by: Evil Twin at April 2, 2014 01:03 AM

Late to this but... First, I see that when Wilson talks about how she came up with the model for her sculpture, she says:

I got a couple of photos on the sly.

That's just plain creepy.

Then, at the end of the Slate piece, Wilson says:

I want to clarify that this isn’t my symbol of womanhood. It’s just a humorous talisman to remind us that this is what our detractors are basing their judgments on, and that’s ridiculous.

Doesn't sound ridiculous to me. According to Wilson, having a dick makes her more courageous, good enough, deserving of a seat at the table. Sounds like the "detractors" are correct when they believe the lack of those attributes is tied to the lack of a dick - at least in her case.

So it seems that after decades of modern feminism, we're back to penis envy. That's discouraging but it did remind me of my aunt's definition of penis envy:

A little girl watched her mother give the girl's little brother a bath. Upon observing that her little brother had equipment she lacked, the little girl said to her mother, "My, what a handy thing to have at a picnic."

Posted by: Elise at April 3, 2014 01:46 PM

"I got a couple of photos on the sly."

Hey, hey, hey! Keep me outta this!!

Posted by: DL Sly at April 3, 2014 01:58 PM

"My, what a handy thing to have at a picnic."

That made my day, Elise :)

Posted by: The Lamestream Media at April 3, 2014 04:20 PM

That's just plain creepy.

You say that like it's a *bad* thing...


Posted by: Anthony Weiner, At Your Service at April 3, 2014 04:21 PM