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May 19, 2014

Oh Noes!!

Seems like *somebody* couldn't control the *natural urge* to up the ante a little too early in the game. And now, having done so, what is a Climate Scientologist to use for the next six months in order to properly petrify the populace into proferring their paltry pennies, pesos and pounds to the pagan priests and priestesses of Gaia? Have no fear! The People's Cube is here to save the...err, day.

Experts in the world's only settled science are up in arms today as a blunder committed by a staunch ally threatens their efforts to raise taxes and save the planet.

On a recent visit to Washington DC, French foreign minister Laurent Fabius told President Obama and Secretary of Climate John Kerry, "we have 500 days to avoid climate chaos." The remarks came less than a week after the White House released its 829 page National Climate Assessment which introduced the term "climate disruption."

"That French cretin wasn't supposed to use 'climate chaos' yet!" screamed a government-funded climate scientist at a leading research facility, as he was polishing his hockey stick. "We just started using 'climate disruption' last week and hadn't even come close to getting all the money and regulations we wanted from it yet. Dammit!"

However, it appears that not everyone had their tampon strings tied in knots...

"Besides," continued Mr. Gore, "as someone once said, 'What's in a name? Bulls**t by any other name would still sell as sweetly.'"

"Climate science needs to start thinking out of the box on this," stated Secretary of Climate Kerry. "Now Senator Reid, he suggested 'Climate Koch Brothers'... I think he's on the right track but I'm not sure it's quite what we need at this crucial hour in earth's history."

Thankfully, those incredibly helpful comrades, possessing the prescience of the Oracle, have created a chart for just such a catastrophe....er, calamity....ummm....Bush!!
Climate phraseology chart.png

Posted by DL Sly at May 19, 2014 01:58 PM

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I looked in vain for "climate snark".

Posted by: Roy at May 19, 2014 05:28 PM

Really? I tried to make it as obvious as possible.....oh, you mean on the chart.

Posted by: DL Sly at May 19, 2014 05:51 PM

The sad part is that away too many of these fools apparently believe their own BS.

Posted by: CAPT Mike at May 19, 2014 09:46 PM

This fool made a cardinal error in making a time specific prediction; in 500 days he will be proven wrong.
Even dim (fraudulent) scare mongers know better than to be specific.

Posted by: CAPT Mike at May 20, 2014 10:08 AM

To take a cue from GM's recall, they might call it "Climate Kervorkianism," "Climate disembowelment," or "Climate deathtrap."

Glen Reynolds point out that there's a big climate panic convention scheduled for about 570 days in the future; he asks, "Why bother?" Won't it already be too late?

Posted by: Texan99 at May 20, 2014 03:55 PM

"Climate anti-Muslim video"?

Posted by: Texan99 at May 20, 2014 03:56 PM