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June 25, 2014

Xtreme Transparency Alert

"Millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules every day deserve a government and a financial system that do the same,"

It's time to apply the same rules from top to bottom ... everyone gets a fair shot, everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same set of rules.

- Barack Obama

Did he say "everyone"? Including The Most Transparent Administration... like... EVER? Well, he didn't really mean the IRS. Or, apparently, the EPA. If you work for Obama, it's completely understandable for you to violate the laws that require you to back up emails. Because... TRANSPARENCY!

Rep. Mark Meadows (R-N.C.) said EPA probably violated the Federal Records Act by not backing up North’s emails.

“It looks like the Federal Records Act has been violated by the EPA,” Meadows said. Did he preserve his emails? That is required by the Federal Records Act.”

“We may have some emails that we cannot produce that we should have kept,” McCarthy admitted.

The Federal Records Act has also taken center stage in the IRS controversy. David Ferreiro, head of the NARA, told lawmakers Tuesday that the IRS did not follow the Federal Records Act in its policies for preserving emails.

"What's the big deal, anyway? Sure, it took us forever to produce the information you asked for but we were, like, kinda busy. And now it's been so long that we just can't find it anymore. And anyway, that's like, yesterday's news. Can't we all just move on? Oh look! A new number one priority!"

Let's see if we have this straight. It's their job to hold you accountable for violating the law, because in Obama's America, everyone must play by the rules. There's no malice in this - they're just doing their duty. It comes from a Good Place: a place of service and self-sacrifice. A caring place. A place where we're all equal, and no one flaunts their privilege.

But don't you dare expect them to play by the rules, or you're being completely unreasonable. We can totally trust these people do the right thing at all times. At the same time, even though there's nothing bad going on, we mustn't presume to check up on whether they're playing by the rules (much less hold them accountable) or another hard drive will mysteriously "crash" and the documents requested under our transparency laws will be lost forever.

Which couldn't happen if they were playing by the rules. You know, like all of us are supposed to do in Obama's America because equality and fairness are Important. Well, most of the time.

This confirms what we have always suspected: Republicans cause computers to die.

It's what they do. It's all they do.

Posted by Cassandra at June 25, 2014 06:44 PM

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"This confirms what we have always suspected: Republicans cause computers to die."

Because hotcoldwetdry kittens, and aliens wearing purple hats!

Posted by: The Wyzzyrd uv Izz at June 25, 2014 07:15 PM

If you people would just let me confiscate all your assault rifles, we'd never have to say goodbye to another young hard drive in the prime of its life.


Posted by: Barack "The Lightworker" Obama at June 25, 2014 07:26 PM

You can have my assault kitteh when you pry it's claws out of my cold, dead butt.

Posted by: The Wyzzyrd uv Izz at June 25, 2014 08:06 PM

I wonder how relevant this law might be? Section "b" seems to apply, providing of course that one can prove that the destruction was willful and intentional. Currently that's impossible to prove, and three years may be too small a penalty to overcome the omerta at the IRS.

Posted by: Grim at June 25, 2014 09:47 PM

This is one of those rare moments when not even the Princess has enough snark to adequately mock the ugly truth.

Well, I'd say Obummer may have topped himself with the 'no not even a smidgeon of corruption.'

Even lefty lib MSM types are aghast at the 'dig ate the [crucial] emails [of several targets!] excuse.

Posted by: CAPT Mike at June 26, 2014 02:43 AM

Executive Order #4116 – Herewith and forthwith – so that there be no doubt that I mean what I say - no promise, platitude, ipse dixit, or utterance of any kind, made by Me The One, may be reproduced without the coda You know, I actually believe my own bullshit.

Posted by: Ophilia Esq., Executive WaveChanger of the USA at June 26, 2014 09:57 AM

I could handle "the dog ate my homework" excuse, but really, "the bindlesniff from alpha centauri ate my homework?"

Posted by: Allen at June 26, 2014 10:13 AM

Iowahawk has a 3-point plan to reform the IRS:

(1) Fire every employee.

(2) Bulldoze the buildings and salt the earth where they stood.

(3) New hard drives.

Posted by: Texan99 at June 26, 2014 04:05 PM

And what, exactly, is the problem with the bindlesniff from alpha centarui, hmmmmmmm?

Haters everywhere even out there!
What has the universe come to....

Posted by: Evil Twin at June 26, 2014 04:06 PM