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July 28, 2014

Revenge: A Dish Best Served Cold

It may have taken several centuries, but finally some enterprising soul has come up with the definitive retort:

Colin Furze, a plumber and inventor from Stamford, Lincolnshire, has begun building the biggest fart machine ever, which he plans to place on top of the cliffs of Dover and aim across the Channel towards France. His hope is that the French, 21 miles away, will hear the blast.

The machine, which Furze will house in a pair of specially constructed buttocks, is a giant pulse valveless jet engine – as used in Nazi V-1 bombs during the Second World War – that creates a plume of fire to go along with its deafening roar. Furze hopes to mount the contraption on the cliffs of Dover on July 24, between 6 and 7pm.

And to think we missed this historic event. Men.... They are inventive:

Furze's previous homemade inventions include a pair of pneumatic 'Wolverine' claws, magnetic 'Magneto' shoes, hand-mounted 'Pyro' flame-throwers (all inspired by the X-Men films), a 50 mph baby pram, and a fire-spurting mobility scooter.

Posted by Cassandra at July 28, 2014 08:26 AM

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I saw that article, too! You beat me to the punch...line.

Posted by: DL Sly at July 28, 2014 12:20 PM

He also invented the turbojet barbecue.

Posted by: Grim at July 28, 2014 12:35 PM

...and my Father's Day shopping is done! :p

Posted by: Cassandra at July 28, 2014 12:55 PM

Yeah, like you'll remember this next year.

Posted by: DL Sly at July 28, 2014 01:52 PM


Posted by: Cassandra at July 28, 2014 01:55 PM