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November 14, 2014

Brilliant


Posted by Cassandra at November 14, 2014 07:50 AM

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But . . . that trivializes her pain!

I watched the original and couldn't work up much outrage. The only creepy part was the guy who kept after her demanding to know why he wasn't attractive enough. Otherwise, who would even have noticed, or cared? Most of the comments amounted to "Hee-e-y!" and it took ten hours to accumulate them.

On the other hand, I totally sympathize with the scandalized reaction that the video perpetuated stereotypes about men of otherness color, etc., yada yada yada.

Posted by: Texan99 at November 14, 2014 08:37 AM

Frankly, I find this video to be racist against Jawas. It perpetuates ethnic stereotypes.

Posted by: MikeD at November 14, 2014 09:46 AM

I didn't find the viral one outrageous, but I did find the reactions (many of them very over the top) interesting.

I also found my husband's reaction interesting. We've been married 35 years, and he surprised me by volunteering that he had not only seen the video but thought no one could watch it without seeing a bit of a problem. He said he didn't realize women had to put up with that much stuff (he particularly disliked the stalkers).

This really shocked me, because he's normally pretty unsympathetic to this sort of thing, and frankly he was more bothered by it than I was. Not outraged, but he understood why it would bother women.

I didn't write about it because I wasn't outraged. But I did find myself thinking it's pretty amazing what people get used to. Then I read a really weird article about a vintage photo of a woman walking in Italy that lamented the supposed loss of a woman's "sexual power" on a conservative site.

It's that kind of nonsense that just makes me wonder if there's some drug in the water? What sane woman desires men to grab their crotches as she walks by? If this is "sexual power", the feminists can have it :p

I'd like to believe that most men are fundamentally decent and can control themselves in public. My entire life's experience tells me this is so, but sometimes the comical contortions some folks twist themselves into to score points on Internet morons leave me speechless.

When you find yourself wistfully lamenting the fact that more men don't grab their crotches when women walk by, or defending drunken frat boys yelling 'No means yes, yes means... well, whatever they're teaching at Harvard these days' outside women's dorms, I begin to think we've lost our way.

Aye Chihuahua :p Bring back the moral compass and deep six the "But they did something worse!" relative morality.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 14, 2014 03:26 PM

I also found my husband's reaction interesting. We've been married 35 years, and he surprised me by volunteering that he had not only seen the video but thought no one could watch it without seeing a bit of a problem. He said he didn't realize women had to put up with that much stuff (he particularly disliked the stalkers).

Quite literally, The Unit's reaction was pretty much my own. I mean, I was aware that catcalling was a thing, you can see references to it in ads for crying out loud (mostly now of office working women ogling construction workers, or sometimes of the trope reversed where men walk by and get wolf whistled at by women), but it was not something I had ever seen first hand. And as we discussed in a previous topic, I think that this falls into that same category as sexual harassment in the workplace. Clearly it happens, but the men who would do it won't do it in front of other men who wouldn't approve. Therefore, the street harassment stops when a man is clearly with the woman, but the catcallers will do so when only other catcallers are around.

About the closest thing I have ever seen to catcalling was one incident where I was walking down the street in Monterrey, CA arm in arm with two of my (admittedly very attractive) female soldier friends. We were just out looking around town and basically goofing around. Some guys called out about how it was unfair that I had "two of them" and one speculated that they must be my sisters (nevermind that one was very tall and blonde and the other was shorter and half-Vietnamese). The three of us laughed about it at the time, but looking back, that might qualify.

Posted by: MikeD at November 14, 2014 04:16 PM

Now if it was our own Princess in a Cream Cheese Danish bikini, that would elicit as comment or three....
heh
0>:~]

Posted by: DL Sly at November 14, 2014 04:26 PM

Or quite possibly screams of abject terror :p

Posted by: Cassandra at November 14, 2014 05:08 PM

That's interesting. I've seen catcalls that were so much, much worse than anything on that video, that my reaction was "meh." The video affected me mostly as evidence that catcalls must be dying out as a social thing, and no longer worth worrying about.

The "sexual power" thing is funny. It's a preoccupation that many of us just can't get that worked up about, and we can only hope that those who are particularly gripped by it can control themselves enough to be safe out in public without chaperones.

Posted by: Texan99 at November 14, 2014 07:02 PM

I was mostly reminded of how much I hate walking in New York City. Of course, the people who approach me for undesirable conversations are able bodied young men who are unemployed and wanting a handout.

The one guy who follows her for five minutes is disturbing. Especially because the law doesn't really permit her to do anything about it: he's lawfully walking in a public place, as he has every right to do. There's no way to respond to it, and yet it's clearly a provocation.

Posted by: Grim at November 14, 2014 08:15 PM

@Grim: Indeed, very unnerving. But other than that? Has anyone seen the *male* equivalent to that video? Women do the catcalls as well. Goes to show that humans are, well, humans.

Posted by: Gregory Kong at November 15, 2014 04:00 AM

I'll have to take your word on the frequency, as I can't attest to any woman having ever catcalled me (although I did once know this one girl who... nevermind).

But there's this and this, although they're TV stars. Still, I can certainly walk down the street without women trying to seduce me. Maybe that says something about me, though, like that I'm ugly. :)

Posted by: Grim at November 15, 2014 09:05 PM

Ugly or terrifying. Judge for yourself, since I've put up a few photos over the years.

Anyway, I never got much female attention, and certainly no catcalling, which is all to the good. What I got instead was a wife who was worth it, and that's a much better thing.

Posted by: Grim at November 15, 2014 09:34 PM

I've seen catcalls that were so much, much worse than anything on that video, that my reaction was "meh." The video affected me mostly as evidence that catcalls must be dying out as a social thing, and no longer worth worrying about.

That was pretty much my reaction, Tex. My first thought was literally, "Wow, that's nothing compared to some of the things I've experienced." Yet my husband had a far stronger reaction... to something that paled when compared to my own experience.

One of the male/female differences that has repeatedly struck me over the years is that men bristle at things I (and other women I know) routinely shrug off. My husband will often interpret behavior from other men that I think of as just rude/clueless as disrespect or even a challenge. And my male co-workers react the same way: they seem to see an attempt to dominate them or a challenge, and I have to believe that men are probably better at understanding/reading other men than I am. That's one reason I've often been called in with problem situations: I don't react personally b/c I don't feel personally challenged by clients who are being demanding.

I just respond to the request on the merits. I'm not terribly interested in whether they feel they can push me around because in my view, I'm peripheral to the real conflict (they want something that either isn't reasonable or that we can't do).

One thing my husband has taught me to see is that sometimes people really are being aggressive and not just rude or clueless. I've realized over the years that I tend to discount that possibility. I think men are taught to respond to such challenges directly, whereas women are taught to deflect, ignore, or work around them.

Posted by: Cassandra at November 17, 2014 09:18 AM

It goes back to our childhood days (really, everything useful we've learnt, we've learnt at kindergarten); men are openly aggressive and we resolve our differences in an aggressive manner. At some point, we learn to master, harness and ritualise that aggression. But it remains.

In my case, my aggression is mental and verbal; I attack head-on with my speech and my arguments. I'm told by my nearest and dearest that I act very much like a bulldozer when I argue a point. Which, when you're actively trying to solicit a wide range of opinions and options, is a bad thing.

You'd think a man who's turned 34 today would have outgrown such, won't you? But I'm still a debating steamroller. Habits (good or bad) are really hard to kick.

Posted by: Gregory Kong at November 17, 2014 09:58 AM