November 12, 2014

Caption Contest - Mid-term Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:48 AM | Comments (21) | TrackBack

November 11, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Well, that was an excellent exercise in evisceration. The Dark Side loathes the Stones, and y'all's comments tickled tremendously. Even though it may not seem so given the length of time it's taken me to post this, I have had most of it written for quite some time, but then Life took over the steering wheel. (And, no, despite the Princess' assertions, it had very little to do with abundant quantities of beer. Although, that's not to say that beer hasn't been consumed....0>;~])
But, that's irrelevant right now when there is old business that is long past due it's proper attention.
Today, Veteran's Day, was originally called Armistice Day to commemorate the signing of the treaty that signalled the formal end to what was, at the time, the Great War - the war to end all wars. Having been signed at the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month, it therefore seems apropos to this Dark Lord that I should a Top 11 for the judgement today.
So with that and a look back...


Let the Judgement begin.

There are two sections to the Judgement today. The first of which belong to our own inimitable spd rdr. Obviously the man had been working entirely too hard during his absence. So, here in no particular order is the man, the myth, the anti vowel-movement in one cracked nutshell, spd rdr:

Mick Jagger says:
After fifty years of non-stop touring and rock and roll I've learned a few things about what it takes to stay at the top of your game. Sure, it's important to watch your diet, get plenty of exercise, and know how to resuscitate your guitarist backstage before the big show. But sometimes a hectic touring schedule can interfere with your personal routine, and when the lights go down and there's 20 thousand fans screaming in anticipation, the last thing that you want to worry about is irregularity.
That's why whenever the Rolling Stones go on tour, we pack Dulcolax medicated laxative suppositories. Dulcolax provides fast, reliable relief from the occasional constipation and irregularity caused by too much gourmet food and over-prescribed prescription medications. Just one Dulcolax suppository and Jumpin' Jack Flash is a blast blast blast!
Take it from Mick: When you can't get no satisfaction, try Dulcolax medicated laxative suppositories and rock on!

Keith Richards says:
Oy...Frigginslumerinit' wot? Hasimselfrigginknighted, wot. Then wot, wot? Figginsupositaries wot. Wot? Figging (unintelligible), wot?
Take it from Keith: When you need to git yer ya-yas out, try Dulcolax medicated laxative suppositories and wot.

Jumpin' Jack Flash
it's a gasp, gasp, gasp!

"Yo! Check out the sister rockin' the turnip!"

"Yo Keith! Check out the sister rockin' the parsnip!"
"Turnip, Mick."
"Parsnip, Keith."
"No, Mick, turnip."
"All right then... Would you please parsnip me bloody amplifier!"

Kicking off the next five is George Pal for,
♪"Lucy in the ska-ay with diamonds."
Keith: "Right lick wrong song you senile drug slut BOOF"

Next up is htom with a hard turn at Albequerque away from the running theme, You! Yes, yellow shirt and Parrothead Fin on your head! You have to have a number to bid!

tweell breaks the brass ring as he tries to keep from having to say those infamous words,
I can't get no
walker traction!

MJL snatches the silver whilst steering us back onto the right path, "Keith, big hooters, 14 G through J."

And Allen grabs the gold this week with a timely reminder that time is definately not on their side (Thank goodness!0>;~]),
Start me up
Crash cart to stage center, clear! Kerthump.
Start me up and never stop.

Bringing us to number 1 (or 11, if you prefer), and who else should claim that spot than the Big Kahuna his own self, Mick Jagger (otherwise known as YAG during his more lucid moments) with the ultimate old geezer - and ya gotta admit, the Stones are ohhhllld geezers - caption, Hey, You!!! Get offa my lawn!

Congrats winners! Thank you everyone for playing and waiting so patiently. Happy Veteran's Day, commenters and lurkers alike (yes, we know you're there) and a deep, heartfelt "Thank You" from the Dark Side to those who have served, are serving and may one day decide to serve - as well as to your families - for the sacrifices you've all made to keep this country truly the Land of the Free and the home of the Brave.
As usual, the next picture is forthcoming....soon.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 09, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:23 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

October 08, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Alright, villains, it's that time, again. Judgement time. I love Judgement time. Almost as much as I love quick-time harch. (slightly NSFW 0>;~])
And now, to attend to old business with the usual quickie look back:


And let the snarktillery commence...

This week's short, but worthy, list of winners sees the return of the irreverant mr. rdr from whence he has been causing his usual chaos and discontent of late to grab the brass ring with this subtle dig at "I've done nothing wrong, but I'm claiming refuge under the 5th amendment because..." Lois Lerner, "You're lying again, Lois."

Taking the silver this week is Frank Karl's pontifications of a potential problem in the progressively pervasive pull of the power of "just a peek", Throckmorton, discovers to his dismay, he was sent ogling glasses not googling glasses. Even so, it was a step up for him.

And, finally, fleecing the golden goose for first place is George Pal's new Occupy Whatever chant slogan. For which, there were unanimous *up twinkles* - a rare and blessed unison of the multiverse of diverse minds, Harness your brain's neuroplasticity. First, knead it repeatedly - for it feels good. Invoke, repeatedly, the mantra “soft head, soft heart, makes me really fuckin’ smart.” In no time at all, you too can be a knee-jerk liberal.

Recipient of the "Oh, You'll Pay For That....Someday" award goes to our resident ballot-stuffing, fixed-wing flyer, frequent flyer, for his sad attempt to rouse the Dark Lord,
"Professor Merkel the Mindreader was famous for his ability to divine the thoughts of his subjects.
He attempted to read the thoughts of one DL Sly, but came up empty. Was the failure HIS, or did the subject really not have anything on her mind?"

I'm sure, had the Princess known of such beforehand, she would have cautioned said high-flyer of the potential for having his waxed wings melted by a future barrage of snarktillery as the Dark Lord does not soon forget.

Congrats to this week's winners! Welcome back to the Snarkpit of Fascism, mr. rdr, and thanks for playing everyone.

At this point, do I really need to repeat the traditional phrase about a new picture?

Posted by DL Sly at 12:17 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 30, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:03 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

September 29, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

I have to say, villains, you did well keeping the commentary at least PG rated. I'm sure the Blog Princess appreciated that after seeing what the Dark Side had to offer this week for snarktillery. heh I like jolting her like that every once in a while. Keeps her on her toes, yanno. If only to get the picture off the top of the page.
But, enough with pickin' on the boss, though, she might take away my ration of beer, and those damn itinerant eskimos keep finding and stealing my stash. So, it's time to get down to old business and the Judgement. And because I can it's tradition to give a small reminder of the last pic...(and shirley not because I'm taking advantage of the convenient opportunity to put the pic back on the top of the page...because, I'd never do that.)

Eyes up here, too.png

And we're off like a prom dress!

Kicking off the top ten this week is frequent flyer, his Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator Captionator firmly in hand, dropping the first of many bombs in a vain attempt to stuff the ballot box, "Doctor, I may have to give up gymnastics. Whenever I do a forward somersault, my breasts hurt."

Next up, at number nine, is Capt Mongo's date-night make-up tips, Maybellines new makeup line--guaranteed to get men to look you in the eyes while having those meaningful discussions.

htom enters the top ten at eight with a product review, A rash of repetitive motion medical complains from men threaten the new product; they are having both neck strain and eye muscle strain injuries from the new device.

Seizing the seventh spot this week is frank Karl for Sheila, refused to comment further than, “I’m sorry I rejected that Shaman’s advances, but it does get me a seat in restaurant in Hollywood.”

And rounding out the first half is frequent flyer zipping blindly back through with more ballot bombs for the box, "WOW! Would you look at the 'HEADlights' on THAT GIRL!"

Leading us blindly into the top five is the ocularly-challenged frequent flyer turned weatherman for Melissa had the uncanny ability to tell just how cold it was outside by standing still outside and staring straight ahead. "HMMM--looks like 5 below...."

While YAG puts his finger on a conundrum, Cheryl always wondered why guys tended to ask her only Yes/No questions until she realized she almost never answered them verbally.

Five O'Clock, frequent flyer, swoops in for the final time and grabs the brass ring on his way to Harry's Hangar Hide-Out and drops his final ballot bomb, "This is NOT what I wanted when I told you I wanted a BREAST LIFT, Dr. Ramirez!"

Stealing the silver ring, and entitling himself to another portion of beets, is afe for (exasperated sigh) My eyes are DOWN HERE!

And, grabbing the gold with this Match Game-worthy diffinitive answer, is MJL with Shhh, we're hunting men!

The Incredulity Is Not Us awards go to...

Where do you find these pictures?
Posted by: Grim

Suddenly, mascara seems..... superfluous.
Posted by: Cass

Have you noticed that her left breast sags a bit more than the right?
Have you noticed that her left eye doesn't track with the right?

Posted by: frequent flyer

Well, that's it for this week, villains. Congrats to the winners, and thanks everyone for playing.
As per usual, a new pic will be up soon-ish.

Posted by DL Sly at 09:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 23, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.

Eyes up here, too.png

Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 05:15 AM | Comments (32) | TrackBack

September 22, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - Two-Fisted Drinking School Daze Edition

Alright, y'all, I finally got to sit down and get the Judgement done. (And there was much rejoicing, I know.) So with a quick reminder of the first picture...

42897.jpg's time to take care of old business.

Kicking off the first top five is YAG with After so many humiliating defeats and the hands of James Bond, Jaws had such a difficult time finding high paying Henchmen jobs that his daughter had to rent out her forehead as a billboard.

In fourth place, frequent flyer drops out of the clouds to give us "After posting this 'selfie' on Facebook, Cynthia couldn't figure out why her social life took a sudden downturn..."

Grabbing the first brass ring is OBH (aka IGotBupkis) and "Wait? That was... LSD?"

Taking the silver of this first edition for what will shirley come to be yet another nom de snark is afe and Come join me in worshipping my unholy master, Satan, Lord Host of the Hoary Netherworld! I look forward to consuming your SOOOUULLLL! On Tuesdays, we get to chew gravel.

Which brings me to number one for number one and Don Brouhaha's And this week at the Tokio Hotel Dinner Theater, "The Shining" as performed by West Monkton Teenage Tumbling and Dance Team!

Very well done, villains. You guys really make it difficult to pick the winners every time. (I was going to say "week", but after these past couple of contests, figured I couldn't really say that right now. heh)
Now, on to the the bonus pic and the last of the old business...


YAG again kicks this one off with what seems suspiciously like a voice of experience, One should never threaten engineering students with "Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?"

Grim, at number four, gives a little insight into the lesser-known rituals of military life, The platoon welcomes the new lieutenant.

OBH grabs the brass rings yet again with the frat perspective, Jason began to get really concerned when he realized this was only the "duck duck" part of his frat's "duck duck goose" hazing ritual.

Slipping the silver ring off the hook is htom for A group of well-prepared engineering students demonstrate the true power of duct tape to a doubting business administration student.

And, last but not least, frank Karl grabs the gold for this gem George, yes your duct tape bomb works, but we're not sure what it's good for.

Thanks again for a difficult contest to judge villains. Again, I apologize for my delinquency, and as a small form of penance, I offer a few more pictures from the Last Best Place...
(And with a special nod to htom. Enjoy.)

The Missions Mountains with the Jocko glacier on the center right.

The Mission Mountains this time from the National Bison Range
NBR 1.png

Again, the Missions and Jocko glacier with a resident of the range...

This guy is just a baby, and I'm sitting in my Durango taking this picture straight on with him.

However, this one, taken at a *bit* of distance, was taller than my Durango, and he really didn't like it when we stopped to watch him and the herd around him.


So much so that he charged us. At which point, we decided it was time to move along. Hey, we on the Dark Side may be a little crazy, but we are not, I repeat not, fools. Which, as it turned out, was not such a bad time to leave afterall...


Thanks for your patience, villains. Of course, I realize and fully admit that a good portion of the silence was due to the apparent absence of a certain Red Sox-loving attorney who despises vowels (which makes me wonder what his legal briefs - no, not those - look like.) However, I'm sure he'll soon remedy that.
Congrats to the winners! Thanks for voluntarily submitting yourselves to my completely unpredictable snark and judgement playing.
As per usual, another pic will be up...soon-ish.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:51 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 16, 2014

Not So Much An Apology

As an explanation. I know I said I would judge both contests last week, and such was my full intent until I received an invitation that I would have regretted declining.


The first dusting of snow of the year at Glacier National Park made for the beginning of a truly amazing day. With McDonald Creek in the foreground, Mt. Vaught sits at 8,850' in the left foreground while Heaven's Peak stretches up to 8,987' in the distance. To the right, Clement's Mtn at 8,760' brushes off the last of the morning mist.

Unfortunately, the snow closed Going To The Sun road past a certain point, but that in no way, shape or form means the Park is a wash. After turning around at the closure point, we decided to meander back down McDonald Creek...

GNP 2.JPG a point where the water falls into crystal clear pools of glacier-fed water. This was taken from about 30' above a very quickly moving current.


Frames by such ridgelines as this with Mt. Brown at 8,565', it's easy to imagine you've stumbled onto a Peter Jackson "Lord of the Rings" movie set.


Next up, was a drive to the far west side of the park, and damn near Canada.


In the foreground to the right is Numa Ridge. Just beyond in the center-left Kintla peak soars to 10,101' with the Kintla Glacier (one of the 26 remaining glaciers in Glacier National park) just below it. Farther to the left are the Boundary Mtns separating the United States from Canada. After a 16 mile drive up into those mountains, we arrived at Kintla Lake...


...framed by the Boundary Mtns.

As the day was getting late, and we had miles to go just to get back to pavement, this was the end of our travels for the day. As the aspenglow slowly climbed the mountains and descended into the valleys, we made our way down a meandering river road back to civilization.
Aaaand I remembered that I was supposed to have judged the caption contests.
Ah well, such is life.
Judgement will be coming soon.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:41 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

September 05, 2014

Caption Contest - Bonus School Daze Edition

It's Friday. The first Friday back to school. You know what that and frat parties!
So, here is another pic for y'all to snarkify.


Judgement for both will commence next week.
Have at it, villains.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:52 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

September 02, 2014

Caption Contest - School Daze Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 06:07 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

Hope y'all had a fantastic Labor Day weekend...the official end of summer. Well, except here at the lake where it's sunny, 75, and I didn't have to go to school today.
However, I do have old business to attend to, so with that, a quick review of last week's picture...


...and the Judgement is off to the racists races.

Laying on the tinder and kindling, at number five, is Grim for "Why'd he call you shorty? 'Cause you're small! Small! Ess-Emm-All."

Bringing the timbers in fourth place is new comer frank Karl and this imperative, Who say we can['t] be the new Sammy Davis Jr and Jerry Lewis?

George Pal, despite the weight of the gas can, still manages to grab the brass ring for Ladies and gentlemen... gracing our stage tonight... direct from their long engagement at the Burlesque Follies... for your entertainment and edification... give it up for... PATHOS AND BATHOS!!

frequent flyer swoops out of the clouds long enough to snatch the silver and jet back off in a trail of sparks and flame, "hey boys--where da white women at?"

Meanwhile, afe fans the flame ever brighter, the better to show off his second consecutive gold ring, with Chris is feeling a tingle running up his Sharpton.

Congrats to this week's winners. Great job villains, once again your excellent entries made for a difficult judgement. Thanks for playing.
As usual, the next picture will be up....

Posted by DL Sly at 02:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 25, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:06 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

August 24, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - Dog Days of Summer Edition

So, you see, here's the deal, summer here by so many lakes is very distracting what with family and friends to drag around on tubes until we can dump them off and such...


But sooner or later, one must come in from the water and take care of business.
Especially since most of my victims went back home. And after you guys did such a great job with your comments, I figured I should probably get off my ass and do a little judging. So, a reminder for those of the *forgetful* persuasion....


...and let the judgement begin.

Kicking off the top five this week is relative newcomer to the caption contest, but certainly not to VC, Elise with Look what the cat dragged in.

Coming in at number four is YAG the music man -
♫ Nobody knows the trouble I've seen ♫
♫ Nobody knows my sorrows ♫

Grabbing the brass ring is another relative newcomer to the contest, Kevin Bush for Here's Johnny!

htom snatches the silver with this Pythonesk retort Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

And taking gold with this incredible entry is afe and his infomercial - The new patented Obama security system by Ronco! Yes, Ronco! The Sir Barksalot(tm) homeland security system mounts easily to entry points and will bark, howl, and otherwise caterwhaul when dangers come near. Sir Barksalot is unable to actually pursue and attack security threats, keeping you safe from any liability or blame for taking action. Sir Barksalot's patented "all bark, no bite" defense settings will also keep you safe from any blame by "haters" for "appalling" injuries to security threats. 4 out of 5 Kenyan scientisits agree that Sir Barksalot is the best all-symbolic, no-substance threat deterrent on the market. As an added bonus, Sir Barksalot will periodically poop on those areas within the protected boundaries, to give you that true Obama experience. Act now, and Ronco will add a free Popeil's Pocket Fisherman(tm) to let you pass the time fishing while waiting for Obama to accomplish something useful, extra shipping and handling charges apply. Hurry, while supplies last!

Congrats, winners, and thanks, everyone, for continuing to provide giggles and guffaws around the Dark Side.
As always, another picture will be forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:04 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 08, 2014

Caption Contest - Dog Days of Summer Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:54 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

Alright, villains. It's that time. The Dark Side has been over-run by family on vacation, but I've found a quiet moment with which to judge the comments from the last contest. So, with apologies for the brevity and a fast glance back at that picture...


Prepare to be judged.

Kicking off the top five this week is CAPT Mike with this very astute observation - Just another privately built enterprise the 'O' doesn't understand.

While spd asks the question that's been on much of America's mind for the last five years -
The O: Would you like to ask the president a question, little girl?
The Kid: How come you're not wearing any clothes?

YAG grabs the brass ring, all by himself I'm sure since it's just sitting on the table within arm's reach - You *really* think you built that?

While the Princess, in one of her many Sybilisms, takes the 30 pieces of silver and the Lego's - "OOOH! Looks like someone has *way* more Legos than she needs..."

And, last, but shirley not least, gliding in for the gold is frequent flyer for - Kid: "This is 'Obamacare Tower'--pull one piece out HERE, and the whole thing comes tumbling down.

Movie reference props go to spd for - "Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart technique?"

Great job, everyone. Thanks for playing. And waiting. Again, apologies for the brevity. Too many trains of thought flying around on the unfinished tracks in my head right now.
And the lake calls.
As usual the next picture will be up soon....ish.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 24, 2014

Caption Contest

Here you go, villains! Your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 07:12 PM | Comments (21) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

Well, my villainous, invisible friends, you shirley had a good time with last week's picture. A couple of you had so much fun that I had to tweak the judgement just a bit this week, as you'll see.
So, with that in mind, it's time for old business with the ensmallened pic review...
and now comes the Judgement.

Kicking off the top five is htom with this astute observation - Amb. Kerry and Sec. Lew, at the Great Wall of China (Badaling Gate) demonstrating the non-conformity of America by being out of step, even with each other!

Followed by Don Brouhaha's ode to the directionally-challenged Sec. of State - "Is this the way to Lambert Field, where the Packers play?"

model 1066 fires a shot at an oft-noted comparison - Water this way, Mr. Horse.

Azrael Eshu (I always want to say, "Bless you" when I read your last name. 0>;~]) takes second with this "we-all-think-it-but-few-say-it-outloud" comment - "And here, Comrade Kerry, is the Leaping Lizard Lounge and Marina. We have taken the liberty of providing you with a lifetime subscription to both as a professional courtesy..."

And, finally, our own Princess grabs the gold with this snort-worthy reminder of the directionally-challenged, former junior Senator's time *spent* in the service -
So.... are we in Cambodia yet?

Congrats, everyone.

Now, I know you've noticed that a couple of the regular smartasses were not in the previous list. This is because they were so busy having so much that I felt the need this week to create a special category just for them where I've chosen the two best comments from the many that each posted. So, I present the "spdy flyer" edition of the Judgement: (in no particular order)

"And over here we have the People's Soylent Green Works."
"Green? I love protecting the environment."
"Yes, yes... so do we. Please, gentlemen, right this way."

Posted by: spd rdr

"And this is the remains of what so many American journalists have described as the "Hanoi Hilton". Contrary to their descriptions, note the spacious rooms--the recreational facilities--the re-education library.................."
Posted by: frequent flyer

"Look! See, Mr. Kerry! SEE! We have found your Lucky hat from the Christmas you spent in Cambodia!
Posted by: frequent flyer

Kerry: "Where do you keep all the kimonos? I promised Teresa I would get her a kimono."
Guide: "Over there, Mr. Ambassador. In Japan."
Kerry: "Is Japan close?"
Guide: "We could reach out and touch it, Mr. Ambassador. And we will."
Kerry: "Good. My feet hurt."

Posted by: spd rdr

That's the Judgement for this week, villains. As usual, a great job by everyone.
Another pic...well, you shirley know by now.

Posted by DL Sly at 04:20 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

July 14, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains, here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 06:13 PM | Comments (29) | TrackBack

July 12, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Alright, villains, I know you've all been chomping at the bit to see who the winners of the last contest are, however meat-space demands had to take priority over the joys of snarking the winners. Alas, such is the life of the Dark Lord when family needs someone to light a fire under their ass.
But, now it's time for old business. After a short review of the last picture,
...the Judgement has come.

Kicking off our party, and pretty much pooping on everything in his path, is George Pal with this brilliant rendering of our current political debate format -
MMA! (Medicare Modernization Act)... HAH!
ACA! (Affordable Care Act)... double HAH!



GREEN JOBS/ENERGY!... HAH! How Many HAH!s we at? Double your HAH!s





And Grim, ever faithful to fairness, takes a brief moment to speak for the current occupant - "Yeah? Well I'm still taller than you. Can't stop me looking down on that."

Spd must have been hungry at the time of this comment - "Pretzel?"
As shirley there wouldn't be any ill intentions coming from one of our resident smart-asses...

Although, the after-effects of htom's reply could be considered as such -
It's my Dad that hates broccoli.

And MJL rounds out the first five with this earbug - "Ebony and Ivory..."
Which, all things considered, coulda been worse.

Frequent flyer launches the top five with a classic from one of our favorite movies - What's a Dazzling Urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?

As model 1066 gives us the internal conversations -
Barry: Hmm...thought you were taller.
W: Hmm...thought you were smarter.

spd, that fount of linguistic leger-de-main, displays his with - "Toldja."

While DUGurl brings the snort with - Kiss me you fool!

Leading up to Don Brouhaha, having apparently come for air long enought to get a cup of coffee, with the top comment for this week, as well as probably the comment most closest to the lips of GW - "Having fun yet?"

Well, that's it for this week's judgement. As I've come to expect, another excellent job with the commentary. Thanks, everyone, for playing.
As usual, the next picture will be up....

Posted by DL Sly at 12:49 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 26, 2014

Caption Contest

All right, villains, here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:05 AM | Comments (27) | TrackBack

June 25, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - World Cup Edition

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. The Dark Side is loving the recent arrival (finally) of clear skies and warm weather. Prior to that, a large, heavy storm had been rolling through dropping over 8" of rain and 20" of snow in some parts of Glacier National Park, as well as 2-6+" of rain on our valley below, leaving moods a little shitty in the crappah for the first weeks of June, and after an already long and very cold winter, to say we had "cabin fever" was an understatement of Obamacare proportions. So, the caption entries were appreciated for more than just their flat-freakin' hilarity.
Thanks for that, villains.
Now, though, there is old business to attend, so with a quick sniff backward...,


it's Judgement time.*

Taking the throne, sports page in hand, and refusing to give it up no matter which daughter bangs on the door is spd rdr ~ Bob was a fixture at Redskins home games.
(When you've finished, have a care
And please profusely spray the air.)
[which could just as easily speak for some team's season records as well.....heh]

htom taking a sheet (take three, please, this isn't Sheryl Crow's house) from Clint Eastwood's roll ~ Fleeing the field, the Redskin took cover behind the Empty Chair.
(I hope he waited a good long while after spd vacated the room.)

Our beloved Blog Princess snatches the brass handle and gives it a good jiggle ~ Butch emerged from the Game of Thrones flushed with victory.

While model 1066, thinking more internationally and perhaps not-so-fondly of "Morning After's" past, grabs the silver spigot with ~ In soviet russia, porcelain bus drives you!

And, sitting on the heated seat of victory, is relative newcomer to the caption contests, MJL (see what can happen, peoples, when you just try?) and this snort-worthy lament (you owe me screen cleaner, btw) ~ Yeah, this game is down the crapper - Every Cleveland Browns fan ever.

Other categories the producers thought should be included but weren't because the executive producers sacked them ~

"I Thought It Was Long Last Week, But We Love Him Anyway":
"Tommy the toilet had been 'dumped upon' his entire life--there is NEVER a 'nice day' for a toilet. He stoically accepted his lot in life--but he suffered from low self-esteem. Tommy was employed at Lambeau Field--home of the Green Bay Packers. It was a S#*T job, but it was a job that Tommy was born to do. Tommy was good at his job. He became the 'Prince of Pissoirs'--the "King of Commodes."
One day, however--after a seemingly endless parade of potty patrons, Tommy snapped. One of his customers didn't even do a courtesy flush.
Tommy chased down and exacted his revenge on his tormentor in full view of 70,000 fans.
There IS a happy ending to this story--Tommy was sentenced to public service. He joined the Peace Corps, where he brings the pleasures of plumbing to underdeveloped countries."

~ frequent flyer

"Is It Real Or Is It Memorex":
After being told that they could no longer use the name "Redskins" as the team name, the Washington team was told to select a name more emblematic of the city.
The name "Washington Crappers" was the first choice nationwide, but was rejected by the NFL.

~ frequent flyer

And finally, in the "This Is Almost As Good As Getting Pakistani Tech Support to Admit Their Name is Not John or Mary" catergory:
OK, this is really unforgivable, but...
"In the Game of Thrones, it's always better to be #1 than #2."

~ Cass

Well, that's it for this week, villains. Again, thanks for the great captions to chase away the gloom, and thanks for playing.
As usual, another picture will be up......

* - This could be a trigger warning, or it could just be an asterisk "on account", who knows?

Posted by DL Sly at 02:01 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

June 19, 2014

Caption Contest - World Cup Edition

Alright, villains! Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:50 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

June 18, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - It's Twins! Edition

Well, villains, I hope you've had a great couple of weeks. By the commentary, I'd say you had fun. I know the Dark Side did. My laptop screen? Weeellll...,it's much cleaner now!
However, it's a new week, and I've old business to which to attend.
First up, a re-peek at one of the Capital City's dysfunctional, *fraternal* "sista and brotha from anotha motha"...


So let the Judgement Games begin!
And may the beer be ever plentiful in your bribes.

First off the podium in a dash, well, more of a meander, for fifth place is Grim's interpretation of the conversation, or lack thereof ~


"What did we mean to talk about?"

"We never had anything to say to each other."

"Oh. Right. Well."


htom is right on his heels with the not-so-singular suspicion about within whose closet reside the men's pants at the White House ~
You're hiding a steak under that roasted sweet potato, I'm telling Michelle!
I have no steak, this is someone else's plate.

Frequent Flyer, with eyes in the skies on the third place prize, has a different opinion about the meat on the plates ~ That's no steak--they're discussing Shnitzengrubers!
(And he did this without using the words pink slime. We are losing our touch, villains!)

No second place winner for this one as I have two first place winners instead - each for completely different reasons which made it literally impossible to choose one over the other this time.

Up first is spd whose comment wins for pure snort-worthiness and, also, happens, btw, to be the first comment to take out my screen with this oh-so-believable comment given the Narcissist-in-Chief ~ "Oh waiter! Check to the lady. Thank you."

My other first place winner is George Pal whose comment is a thing of double entendre beauty ~ The CDC announced today what are believed to be the first confirmed cases of “Deep Background” in humans. The pathogen had previously been thought to be quiescent and detectable only in MSM 'nothing to see here' stories.

Father's Day Edition -
First of all, congrats to all who stuck with this picture's theme. You are learning, young..ish padawan. For those *certain* commentors (who shall remain nameless.) who didn't get the memo, perhaps a Q-tip or three when next you "get off your head" for your coffe break, hmmm? 0>;~D
*snort snort*

But now a look at bouncing, badbass picture number two!


Aaannnd, Jarvis......, drop my Judgement...

Kicking off his shoes, and cleaning out his ears and his Inbox, is Don Brouhaha at number five with this screen-cleaning caption ~ Last week, I caught a hat THIS big!

Grim, however, is going to have to work on his kidside manner for accepting gifts ~ "If that hat is my present from you, son, the 'World's Best Dad' cup your sister brought me is an outright lie."
(It's the smile, Grim, gotta work on that smile, my friend.)

Frequent Flyer, cruising at 33,333', may be speaking from experience when he says, "Frank's wife asked him what he wanted for Father's Day. She obviously misunderstood him when he said he wanted a hat with a big BRIM."

YAG has apparently gotten a gift similar to this as his comment seems a bit "practiced" ~ When I said I wanted a hat that really spoke to me, I didn't mean that literally.

And, last, but certainly not least, Villainous Company's resident smartass, and Sister Bag O' Metaphor's' favorite student, spd rdr has managed to sweep the twin billing with a caption that really could fit the pic ~ "Wait, wait... I'm gonna be a WHAT????"

*Other categories announced earlier tonight, but not filmed due to time constraints, include:

"Longest Caption For Which I'm Going To Need Much More Beer To Figure Out" ~ Diane had long been accused of being a puppet of Obama. In this photo, his hand is NOT behind her back--on the other hand, she makes NO MOVE or utterance either.

In a "life imitates art moment", this is NOTHING compared to the Mastery of the Marionette displayed by Valerie Jarrett--who controls Obama's every move and sound. The big ears and grin are an homage to Howdie Doody.

Though controlled by Jarrett, Obama is VOICED by Buffalo Bob (Bill Ayers). Clarabelle the Clown never utters a word--a perfect portrayal of Eric Holder. Who in Washington would play Sandra the Witch? Mayor Phineas Bluster? Thunderthud? Capt. Windy Scuttlebutt?

One thing we can ALL agree on--the entire Administration is cast as the mysterious "Flub-A-Dub."
Posted by: frequent flyer

"Longest Caption For Which The Exact Amount of Beer Will Again Be Required In Order To Be Able To Explain This To Anyone" ~
Life imitates art?
Most VC'er are aware of the Nigerian 419 Scam baiters
In a move that would make most VC'er proud--Upon receiving a Nigerian scam, this group swings into action TO BAIT THE SCAMMERS!
They string the scammers along--telling them that they would LOVE to help the scammer retrieve millions of dollars. Turning the tables on the scammers, they pose as a church--the "Church of Bread, Fishes, and Wine."
They ask the scammer to prove that he is real, by posing with a fish on his head, and carrying a loaf of bread.
Scroll down the site for photos and copies of the messages between the scammer and the scam-baiter.
"Fish on head"? I've seen THAT one before!

Posted by: frequent flyer

"The I Don't Know About You, Buddy, But My Sh!t Don't Stink" category ~ "In every relationship, there comes a point where infatuation and adoration stops--where you realized the faults of your beloved--where you realize the bathroom really DOES stink after they have been in there.

Given the amateurish and inept handling of both foreign and domestic policy by this administration, even formerly staunch supporters of The Enlightened One have come to that point. There is nothing left to discuss."
Posted by: frequent flyer

And, finally, "Drat! The Master Plan Fails Due to Limp Response to Our Baiting" category ~
In many ancient cultures, the fish is a fertility symbol
There is more in this link than most men would ever want to know--but considering that this blog DOES belong to the Blog Princess--perhaps it is only fitting.
Still not convinced? here's another Note that in one of the ancient drawings, a goddess of fertility is depicted WITH A FISH ON HER HEAD!
I've got to believe that DL Sly has "suckered" the male readers of VC into a female fertility ritual--how apropos for "Father's Day!"
Posted by: frequent flyer

Outstanding job, everyone! Congrats to all the winners, and thank you for playing, villains!

Another pic will be up .....yeah.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:42 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 13, 2014

Caption Contest - Father's Day Edition

No judgement today, villains. Instead, a caption contest just for Father's Day! Both will be judged after the weekend.
So, here's another picture for you to snarkify:


Have at it. And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:47 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

June 10, 2014

Caption Contest

Given the new squirrel in the cage to distract from the VA scandals, here's a conversation I'd love to have been a fly on wait, that's the only thing Xerxes, himself, has killed...belay that.
Let's just move on to the next picture for the assembled villainry to snarkify.


Have at it, and may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:04 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

My apologies for the delay in Judgement for last week's contest. I had something come up, unexpectedly. Namely, the ground...but it's a long story, and I'm in need of hilarity around here. So, a small peek at last week...


And away we go...

A new entry on the winner's list this week finds MathMom tallyating trouser snakes and tres' Frances at number five Gaston realized with horror, that his "trouser snake" was intent upon standing and joining Rene in the danse des pédés.

A dance for which htom apparently has found the definitive name at number four The rout began at this mis-step in the Dance of Defying the Wasps.

YAG "feels the pain" of every golfer in America with Tennis players react with the Heebie Jeebies to the news Kevin Costner will be doing for tennis what Tin Cup did for golf.

While afe scoops up the silver...and tosses it out onto the floor for The nancy-boy dance marathon at The French Open was a huge hit with the crowd and the players. Here, Jean-claude and Francois-marie perform their winning rendition of "It's Raining Men" during the Men's Doubles Final. Saucy, n'est-pas?

And, finally, swooping in at the last minute to grab the gold before it hits the ground, is frequent flyer in first place with The U.S. Tennis Association adopted the National Football League rules prohibiting "excessive celebrations" after the French team performed the "dance of the seven virgins" following a point.

Special note is made of spd's homage to my home state - Montana brothers Bill and Bertram Berwanger perform the rain, wind, hail and sunshine dance for tourists while fending off clouds of diversity-carrying mosquitoes.
If it weren't such a blatant attempt to curry favor with the judge, it might have warranted more consideration. Buuuuttt one comes to expect these things from high-powered attorneys these days.....

Congrats to the winners and well-played every-villain.
A new picture to snarkify will be up soon....ish.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:09 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

May 30, 2014

Caption Contest

I hope everyone has had a good week. May is pretty much gone, June's right around the corner and it's finally springtime in Montana, which means we had rain, wind, hail and sunshine -- sometime all with the same day -- all week. At least with the rain I didn't have to water the garden.
The tourons, however, didn't seem to appreciate the weather *diversity*...particularly the golfers and tennis players. So with that in mind, here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:10 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

May 26, 2014

Caption Contest

No contest this week, y'all. This is not a week to be made light of.
Today, I pay special homage for those veterans who never came home, who came home and have now slipped the etherial bounds of this mortal coil to join their Brothers and Sisters who fought and died by their side.
Today is for MH, for my Pop, my BIL, his son, my brother and uncles.
I do remember.
And always will.

To touch their names.png

Posted by DL Sly at 12:03 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 23, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Even as June gets ready to bust out all over, y'all still find time to come up with enough captions to make me haf'ta work. Although, I'm sure it is this thought that gets the Princess through her pt workouts with an evil grin. But, if that's what it takes to get her up off her butt and going motivated, I guess I can take one for the team. Although you can tell by my late(errr) posting that the nice weather has been more than enough motivation to get the Dark Lord going....
So, with a backward glance at last week's picture...
Shillary and Xerxes I.png
...heeeerrrre's the judgement as I take care of old business.

Spinning the prop and getting us launched at number five is frequent flyer with (smirk)--"So THAT'S what cankles look like!"

While George Pal takes gives us a free peek into today's collegiate atmosphere at number four In Socratic Dialogues 101 – An Introduction the question had been put: ”To what does ‘an infernal imperative to a proclivity’ allude”? Bertram’s PowerPoint presentation got him an A+, a sexual harassment charge, and two weeks in SRB (Sensitivity Re-education Bivouac).

Smoking Grabbing the bronze ring this week is B. Obama (aka Yu-Ain Gonnano) for If this Benghazi thing takes off, I'm gonna need a bigger bus.

Continuing the march of the multiple personalities is IGotBupkis (aka OhBloodyHell) with a silver ticket to ride at number two with "Hillary, just stand there. I'm telling you, the bus will be along any minute..."

And, in a very timely win, we have vet66 grabbing the gold for this gem "How did the reset button for Russia get there?"

As usual, fantastic job this week, villains. Congrats to the winners, and thanks for playing everyone.

Posted by DL Sly at 08:55 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 17, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains, here is your next picture to snarkify.

Shillary and Xerxes I.png

Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:24 PM | Comments (29) | TrackBack

May 16, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - Mother's Day Edition

Thanks to you guys, the VES is now on the hook for washing all my cars. She didn't think you guys would come up with much for this week's picture, but I knew better. You guys have yet to disappoint, and until you do, I will continue to bet on your proficiencies in snark. The weather says it's supposed to be sunny this weekend. I hope so, washing cars in the rain just ain't no fun.
But, right now I have old business to conduct, so a small flashback to last week's picture...
and on to the judgement.

Speaking of flashbacks, George Pal musta been flashing back to his college days when he came up with the number five entry for this week, Otus meh mahn, how mannee times I be tellin yeh dohnt be givin yerself a Jheri curl after yah bee smokin ganja with dem Rastafarians.

Spacing us out even further at number four is Jayne Cobb (aka YAG) with this Obscure TV Show Reference winner, Pretty cunning, dontcha think?

CAPT Mongo fires a shot over the silky-shorted butt of his *misguided* bretheren to capture third place, "I will not go to sleep beside the USMC recruiting office again. I will not....."

Grim easily snatches the silver this week with the only theme-relevant comment, Aware that his mother had really always wanted a daughter, "Chelsea" surprised her on Mother's Day by becoming a prison wife.

Bringing me to htom for not only the first place answer, but also Major Movie Reference props for, It rubs the depilatory on its head and rubs it in, or else it gets the hose again.

Winner of the "No Shit Sherlock" award goes to frequent flyer's wise observation,
A father's worst nightmare, when his son comes home with this hairdo.
BELAY THAT--His worst nightmare is when this comes to the door to pick up his daughter for a date.

For this comment, frequent flyer finds himself the new owner of a little something I picked up just put together in the back room
Redneck motor home.jpg

And finally, winner of this week's Wuss-Out Award goes to CAPT Mike when he said, Not touching this one.
C'mon, man! Where's the fun in that on a caption contest?

Congrats to the winners! And thank you all for playing. (Well, all that is except for a certain CAPT...0>;~])
Another picture will be up *soon*.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 09, 2014

Caption Contest - Mother's Day Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 05:17 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin - Kentucky Derby Edition

California Chrome may have won the actual race, but I'm betting nobody had as much fun as I did reading another week of fine commentary by VC villains. Nicely done!
So, after a relatively small reminder...
...we're off like a prom dress and on to old business and the judgement.

Lined up on runway number five, is frequent flyer for Having seen "Buffalo Bill's Wild West" in "Annie Get Your Gun, Yoshi decided to give "trick riding" a try.
In this photo, he reprises the Western show staple of riding a horse while standing up.

George Pal rides in at number four with Daichi-san had misconstrued the meaning of 'horsey set’.

htom shows his un-Amerikkkan creds by not allowing his disadvantaged technique to keep him from snatching the bronze ring Horse stance, I'm doing it wrong.

While Don Brouhaha stumbles, fumbles then finally falls on the silver ring in Crouching jockey, stumbling horsey.

Finally, in a return to the top, spd blows by the competition with "Breaking Bad" wasn't the fastest horse around, but if he got out front the rest of the field would just drop back. Way, way back.

Congrats to the winners, and, again, great job everyone. Thanks for playing.
Another picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 02, 2014

Caption Contest - Kentucky Derby Edition

Alright, villains, the Kentucky Derby is tomorrow, so it seems appropriate that this is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:51 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

Holy hairy houndstooth collars, Batman! Another outstanding week of caption entries. The assembled villainry is truly the best, IM(CA&NS)HO. It must be the arrival of spring that's roused y'all. Whatever it is, I like it. So, with a small peek from last week:


we're on to old business and the judgement.

Grim leads us into the top five this week with a thought that I got more pleasure from than I probably should Harry Reid has a recurring nightmare in which 'domestic terrorists' stop caring about his rules.

Number four has George Pal extrapolating Grim's thought to it's seemingly natural conclusion, Video just in confirms Radio Rebelde reports that the canines have taken the parks. We’ve also heard unconfirmed reports of cats overturning litter boxes. Leaders have called for calm. PETA fears retribution.

YAG grabs the bronze ring this week with When asked, the head of the Dyslexic Atheists for the Separation of Church & State, said that the dog wasn't just a mascot, but a full fledged member.

While frequent flyer swoops in to nab the silver with this snort-worthy comment In a canine version of the "Perp Walk"--Rex was made to carry a sign identifying himself as a "serial lawn pooper."

However, this week's gold goes to Five Dog Electrical Band (aka our own Princess) for pulling off her frilly panties of repression and flashing us this piece of sheer brilliance -
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Poo here, don't poo there, can't you read the sign?
Now hey you - Fur Face! - can't you read?
Got to wear a collar and walk on a leash.
You can't take a dump or scratch your fleas.
You ain't supposed to pee here...

Best Riff of a comment - Cass for The Walk of Shame.
And proving that one can be a winner and yet still walk on the thin ice of forcing the Dark Lord to alter our deal *further* (as in you'll have to both fly and buy next time), is FDEB for Sadly, the first signs of growing interspecies microaggression that preceded the Canine Occupy movement were not taken seriously by a nation made soft by free health insurance and weekly caption contests.

That's the judgement for this week, villains. Again, outstanding job everyone. Thanks for playing.
Another picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 25, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 07:28 PM | Comments (30) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

Have I told you guys how much I love ya? Y'all are truly fun to throw pictures at just to see what you come up with...and, to be honest, I won a bet with the VES. See, she didn't think y'all could come up with much of anything for this latest contest.
A small reminder of which lies below...


Oh, She of Little Faith! If only I'd thought to bet something tangible like chores or money...well, no, wait, she gets her money from me for doing her chores. So, that's an exercise in futility. What is not such an exercise is this week's judgement, which is going to be a little you'll soon see.
Therefore and without further ado, on to old business and the judgement!

Kicking off set number one, at number five is new commenter MJL Still from the Royal Catanian Mounted Police Dance Troop with their rendition of "And The Mouse Police Never Sleep."

At number four, we find CAPT Mike revealing potential insider knowledge, Though the evil humans filming this farce did not know it, at this very moment the Kitty Mafia had marked them for death.

frequent flyer makes his three point landing neatly with "Plagued with a rash of cat burglaries, the police decided to fight fire with fire."

While afe gives us our first movie trivia reference, earning him second place in this first of two sets - As Daniel-san uses Mister Miyagi's undefeatable Crane stance, his Cobra-Kai opponent wonders whether he should sweep the leg.

Bringing us to the winner of our first set: Melissa Fletcher with this gem of a movie reference caption, How come you always get to be crouching tiger?

Congrats guys!

I know what you're thinking, "There's a couple of regulars missing this week." Well, that's because YAG, who must have had Mr. Mom duties last week given the number of captions he offered up for judgement, is a winner unto himself this week. Yep, the *meowze* was apparently with Yu-Ain with this pic as the captions were indeed inspired.

So, off we go with the YAG set:
At number five is, Shortly after this demonstration, Dr. Moreau was forced into hiding.

Number four has You taught cats Kung Fu? Damn you, Igor. You've killed us all!

Number three also garners "Major Obscure Site Reference" as well as "Inquiring Minds Want To Know" props for Yu-Ain Gonnano who's looking in Sister Mary's bag-o-metaphors,
Nuh uh.
No good.
Not touching that one either.
That's just right out.
Oh! Maybe? ... No.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Number two takes us back to Kung Fu Theatre days:
Red: *lips moving* You will never again dunk me in the pool. *lips continue moving*
Pink: Yes, I will *lips start moving* miss that very much *lips stop moving* when you are dead.

Last, but certainly not least, number one on not only the YAG list, but for the week overall, is Meowfeus tries to free Neow's mind: there is no catnip.

Finally, the "I'm Guessin' You Don't Like Cats" category winner is spd for these very visual entries,
Fortunately, at that precise moment a three ton piano suddenly tumbled from the roof of the ten story building putting and end to the conflict.
Thankfully, Rex the Wonder Dog's flamethrower quickly put an end to "Kat Kabuki Nite" forever.

Well done, everyone....and spd.
Congrats the winners.
Another pic is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:10 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 18, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:59 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin - The Tax Man Cometh edition

I gotta admit that at first I wondered whether or not the real tax man might have most of y'all's attention this week, but apparently a monkey stealing a hubcap is a nice distraction...or a Freudian fantasy, who knows.
But! I've old business to conduct, so a small reminder...
...and here come da judge..ment.

Kicking it off at number five is frequent flyer, who may have inadverdently stumbled upon the next *under-served minority*, with "Monkey's--doing the work that American's won't do."

Followed by CAPT Mike at number four with a thought that is shirley on many American's mind's right about now
Stop your bitching!
it's all I could afford after taxes . . .

OBloodyHell channels his inner south Bronx tough guy at number three in this little monologue, "So's then I said, 'Like, I ony got 'ive bucks. What kinda ride can I get fer that?' an' then he sez, 'Well, lemme go back inna back and see', an he comes back wit', like, this stupid wheel cover from a Benz, and like, what could I say? At least I gots me a Benz."

And spd, who apparently is in between cases and therefore has plenty of time to spend playing video games, lands himself in second this week for Mario roared back into the race, leaving Chico to question his value as member of the Mercedes pit crew.

Bringing me to first place in the Tax Man Cometh edition - which also garners Obscure Movie Reference props - and YAG's - The IRS sends a trained agent to place a hubcap from Charles Koch's prized car into his bed.

Best Imitation of a Real AP Caption props for George Pal's,
CCTV captured this image of a critter running from the scene of the crime. Police officials say it matches descriptions of eyewitnesses who’d seen the same critter hanging about the Orion Township MI. car dealership where a dozen cars had been stripped of their tires and rims three weeks ago. Witnesses report having heard the critter muttering loudly as he ran ‘slowly, slowly, catchy monkey, MY ASS’. Profilers from the animal psych division at the FBI warned that the suspect should be considered psychologically harmed and dangerous.

And, finally, Obscure Song props go to YAG for Well, Lord, if you won't buy me a Mercedes-Benz, I guess I'll hafta do it myself.

Well, that's it for this week. Once again, as always, a fine job of snarkery. Congrats to this week's top five. Another pic will be forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 06:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 14, 2014

Caption Contest - The Tax Man Cometh Edition

All right, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have it! And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:02 AM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

April 12, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin - April Fool's Double Secret Probation Edition

Well, that was fun. Unkle Joe and company never fail to bring out the smartass in all of you. Granted, they so deserve it...

So, a small reminder of our first April Fools...
DWS II.png
...and we're off like a herd of turtles with old business and the judgement.

Kicking it off is htom at number three with - I was this close to Koni!

afe finds himself in second for - . . . and then I was all like "You better get of Crimea, Vladimir, or there will be GRAVE CONSEQUENCES!", and you should have seen him quake with fear when he saw I meant bidness.

And YAG wins this first Double Secret Probation judgement (it may give him immunity at some point in the future for something I'm not sure of....orrr it may not) for -
DWS: Then I told him is payment would go down by *this* much?
BO: And he bought it? Those rubes will believe anything!

Well done, gentlemen! (And I use the term loosely.)

Just like Groundhog Day, this Judgement continues with the small reminder...


And part deux finds YAG starting us off at number five with - Joe Biden taunts former VP candidate Paul Ryan on the lack of a planet named after him.

With a side notation by spd at four - But John soon regretted smoking that dooobie before the show.

htom takes the bronze for - Joe Biden emphasizes the President's "Gotcha" promise.

George Pal claims the silver for this subliminal entry - Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A rictal horror-movie clown, a Rose Garden lawn jockey, and a Madame Tussaud exhibit walk into a joint session of Congress...

And Grim grabs the gold for himself (when he gets back) for this gem - Biden celebrates as the President meets the over/under on the "Let me be clear" betting pool.

Well, that's it, villains.
Congrats to the winners!
A new picture will be forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 07:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 04, 2014

Caption Contest - April Fool's Edition part deux

This just dropped into my inbox from the VES, and I couldn't let it sit. Besides, with the impending dearth of posting from our beloved Princess - and knowing I can in no way, shape or form hold a candle to her in the serious posting department (I was hired for comic relief and the fact that I'll always fly if someone else buys) - another picture for y'all to snarkify ain't a bad thing.
So, without further ado...


I will be judging both contests separately, so have at 'em, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 09:33 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

Caption Contest - April Fool's Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.

DWS II.png

Have at 'em, and may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:30 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

This is getting fun. I'm starting to think y'all could come up with several good captions for even the weirdest pictures I have in my folders. And we may very well find out over the course of time.
A small reminder of last week's picture...,
...and on to old business and the judgement.

Kicking off the top 10 is new-comer KissMass who prophesizes
What Hillary thinks her chances of winning in the back ground.
Reality of winning in the foreground, complete with underoos.

htom provides the campaign slogan at number nine with Mom, do I have to wear my Under-Alls?

In the eight hole is frequent flyer with a preview of the in-flight movie In a scene right out of Austin Powers Fat Bastard reprises the famous line--"get in my belly!"

spd is feeling crafty at lucky numba seven Looking about, he quickly spotted a soiled bar towel, a bottle of mouthwash, a bowl of clotted yak milk, and 43 rolls of flocked raspberry wallpaper, just what young Master MacGyver needed for the giant's big surprise.

And George Pal winds up the first half with The consortium NippoMitsuHondaSumi demonstrate Japan’s miniaturization technology dwarfs the West’s.

Leading off the top five is the return of spd rdr with a nostalgic grin for any Kung Fu Theatre fan "Happy birthday, Bruce", said Mr. Lee, smiling.

KissMass also makes a return, not bad for a newbie, (hint hint: those who have been holding back because the don't think they're "good enough") at number four with an all-too-realistic analogy NSA reveals "Big Brother".

Reminding us of alter ego's past is afe at number three with Bhapu was forced to avert his gaze from the often mentioned, but never before seen, legendary ginormous codpiece of his opponent.

Garnering not only second place, but also Major Movie Reference props this week is YAG for this classic:
Little Guy: I must admit, you are better than me.
Big Guy: Then why are you smiling?
Little Guy: Because I know something you do not know!
Big Guy: Really? And what is that?
Little Guy: That *I* am not left handed!

And, finally, pulling into port at the head of the fleet is CAPT Mike for Obama v Putin.

Well, that's it for this contest, villains. Another picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:02 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 28, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it, villains.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 07:19 PM | Comments (29) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin - March Madness Edition

Wow, throw any picture at you and you guys have a ball with it. I gotta tell ya, though, I'm lovin' it. Because, this week, I wasn't quite sure whether or not this one would be a stud or a to speak. Not that the pic was all that bad...


So, on to the judgement and old business.

At number 10 is htom with this public statement: Officials from the Movember campaign insist that neither they nor the Movember campaign have anything to do with this.

afe gives us an idea of what was in his eight-track player in high school with - Giving up their dreams of musical gold to pursue Olympic gold, the band Foghat pose here in their 1976 Olympic uniforms, and demonstrate the perfect baton-passing technique which won them the relay medal, and our hearts.

While from the duelling stereo across the quad comes frequent flyer's woofer blasting his eight hole reply "Frank Zappa had 5 brothers--but eventually made it big as a solo act."

spd rolls a lucky numba seven with - After several early attempts ended in failure, the Albert Einstien cloning project was shelved.

And rounding out the first half is YAG for - In a shocking move, the Obama administration leaked a picture of the undercover FBI agents involved in the arrest of Charlotte Mayor Patick Cannon (D) in an attempt to damage their credibility.

Kicking off the top five is CAPT Mongo making his first port call in the judgement in typical squid style - The Air Farce mustache contest gets out of hand.

OBloodyHell is jammin' in his "luv muhcheen" at number four with - The very short-lived official Cheech Marin track and field team, in one or their rare photos taken together.
The group was swiftly disbanded when, during their first meet, they ran the wrong way, shot the put into the crowd, tossed the hammer at the judges, and generally acquitted themselves amazingly poorly.
In a post-meet interview, one of them admitted that, not only were they all stoned out of their minds, they also found that not a one of them could manage to run fifty paces without wheezing. He also claimed that every one of them suffered from a Basketball Jones that just would not quit...

While Grim is left wondering what, where in third place - Mr. Kotter later left secondary education for the academy, where he did breakthrough work in steroids and cloning.

Bringing us to second place where Don Brouhaha sings a lament to spd's earlier failed experiments - "Send in the clones, there have to be clones....Don't bother they're HERE!"

And finally, catching a tail wind in time to land in first place is frequent flyer with The Mexican Run, Jump, and Swim Triathalon poses for a team photo.

YAG garners best "Sticking with the Theme" props for his reference to this year's March Madness Cinderella team for - The members of the last Mercer Bears basketball team to make the NCAA tournament would like to apologize. They would like blame it on the 70's but can't as it was 1985.

While CAPT Mike fills us in on more of the past experiences that shaped his, of....humor, yeah, that's it, huuumohhrrr - Hell, that was gym class at my Seattle High School in '76!

And finally, in what is becoming a common theme, major nostalgia props to frequent flyer for this enjoyable walk down memory lane - For those of us of a certain age.....
At first, I thought the group had their hands up to their ears--reminiscent of Red Buttons song and comedy routine
Thirty years later, his song "Ho-Ho--He-He--strange things are happening" (linked above)took on an entirely different meaning.

Well, that's it for this week. A new picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 05:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 22, 2014

Caption Contest - March Madness Edition

Alright, villains. Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:47 AM | Comments (30) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin - St. Patty's Edition

Yanno, I was wondering whether or not this week's picture would prove difficult. I know, what was I thinking? This is the Assembled Villainry. Of course y'all'll handle it, and handle it you did.
So, without further ado, on to the judgement and old business.

As per usual, a small reminder of last week's picture:

Many times here at VC, individual comments within a post will create their own sub-context conversation that inevitably leads to a snarky end. It's one of the many unique aspects of her site that kept bringing me back when I first stumbled upon the Blog Princess' corner of the innertubes some 10 years ago. So, this week, I found it extremely cool, as I proceeded through the judgement, to see a familiar pattern develop.
And with that in mind, we're off like a herd of turtles.

At number ten is Proof with - The new poster girl for Mad Cow Disease was easily amused.

To which one of our ever-lovin' seaman, CAPT Mike, exclaims - I've seen that girl before!

While spd has the typical retort in the eight hole - "You just stay away from my Edgar, hussy!"

Then frequent flyer drops in from the clouds in time to land at seven and deliver the ensuing confirmation, commiseration conversation (heh, say that three times...oh crap, as many times as I just backspaced, just try typing it once real fast.) -
"Then he left you, and later, you saw him in a DAIRY BAR with another girl?"
"Men--they're all the same--one magic night in the cowshed--then you see them on the other side of the pasture with another cow--leading her on with promises of deep clover and a happy home life with lots of calves...........YOU'VE fallen for that line, too?"
"I'm so glad we've had this girl-talk..."

Finally, the camera pulls back and we find OBH, the bystander, rounding out the first half of the top ten in the number six slot with this observation - And at that very moment, the casting director for the reboot of "The New Dukes of Hazzard" realized what a horrible mistake he'd made regarding the girl he'd selected as the new Daisy Duke.

Kicking off the top half at number five is Grim's country girl, slumber-party game suggestion - The girl from New York City thought this was an awesome game, until she tried it on the bull.

Number four finds our own Bossy the Cow (aka the Blog Princess - hey, you chose the screenname, not me!) with an observation for the vernal equinox - Me so horny.

While Don Brouhaha has obviously gotten an early start on the commercial overload that is March Madness - "I don't know who you think you are, but you should eat more chicken!"

Claiming not only second place, but also Walk Down Memory Lane nostlagia props, is htom for - Dr. Dolittle's new intern demonstrates her fluency in Holstein Friesian.

Bringin me to the top, slot for the this week.
Giving a hint at perhaps an early tv favorite, is afe with - Desperate to finds herself a feller to take her down to the see-ment pond, Lurlene finally asks Bossy fer dating advice.

Congrats, afe on making it to the top, as well as to the rest of the top 10. Outstanding job on a fairly difficult picture.
A new picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 15, 2014

Caption Contest - St. Patty's Edition

Alright villains! Here is your next picture to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 01:05 AM | Comments (39) | TrackBack

March 14, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Outstanding week of captioning, villains! The Blog Princess was right, it has been a challenge to judge the comments this week. Nothing that a lot of beer couldn't handle. (Yes, CAPT Mike, lots of beeeeerrrrr. heh) I'm thinking that y'all are enjoying this top 10 thing, though, by the sheer number of entries. Whatever works!
So, on to the judgement and old business:

A small review of last week's picture,
and we're off like a prom dress after the dance.

Firing up his jets and launching the judgement is frequent flyer for "On seeing Obama in the stands at the U.S. Open, Ferdinand had the same reaction as Chris Mathews--a THRILL RAN UP HIS LEG!"

Grim is doling out advice at number nine Following the Russian invasion of Crimea, John Kerry realizes he will have to pull up his big boy pants.

OBloodyHell is getting down and dirty in the eight hole with To Ferdinand's dismay, he discovered in the middle of the tourney that one of his opponents, taking a leaf from the Official Tonya Harding Playbook, swapped the club's hash brownies for ex-lax brownies.
His already none-too-illustrious career would, unfortunately, never recover.
... the tennis outfit was, of course, a total loss.

Lucky numba seven finds the ever-modest spd rdr in full projection mode "I'm humbled!" he shouted.

While YAG rounds out the bottom half and garners Obscure Movie Reference props for Say 'Hello' to my little friend.

Opening up the top half of the judgement at number five is afe with a tidbit of obscure European history that few, if anybody, knew: Losing badly in straight sets at the French Open, Jean-Pierre attempts to pull his white shorts over his head in the universal French symbol for surrender. This maneuver was first performed by French players, en masse, in response to the overwhelming play of the German 1940 doubles champions, Team Blitzkrieg.

Arriving in record time to make his next appearance at number four is frequent flyer with truly deflating news "Even while playing mixed-doubles with Maria Sharapova the frustration showed on Ferdinand's face when the Viagra STILL wouldn't work."

Claiming the bronze trivet as her own is our lovely Blog Princess, who shows her compassionate side with "7-LOVE???? I got yer 'love' right here, baby..."

And a shining silver shoe goes flinging towards Don Brouhaha for "This is the most interesting wedgie in the world!"

Bringing me to the top caption for this week. The golden stuffed marmoset for first place lands squarely in the lap of Yu-Ain Gonno for this - After an allegation of illegal equipment usage, the Head Judge asked to see the player's balls.
He immediately regretted the phrasing.

Most Cringe-Worthy caption and the latest walk down memory lane goes to frequent flyer and this low blow "Not only did Ferdinand suffer a blow to his nether regions, but he was dealt a second blow when ABCs Wide Wide World of Sports didn't use the video for its famous lead-in because it was even more violent than the fallen ski-jumper"

That's it for this week, villains! As I am coming to expect, y'all did a fantastic job.
And, MikeD? I'll leave you with Larry Bird's words: “You never make any of the shots you never take. 87% of the ones you do take, you’ll miss too.”
A new caption picture is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 09:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 10, 2014

Caption Contest

Alright, villains. Here is your next pic to snarkify.


Have at it.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:37 PM | Comments (40) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin

So, as I said earlier, I was on the road all day Friday. Now that I've gotten some sleep and washed off the road grime, the judgement will commence.
Once again, y'all have come up with so many entries that I am unable to have just a simple three winner list. So, again this week, we will have a top 10.
Now, to the judgement and old business:

A small review of last week's picture,
and away we go...

Starting the party off, both here and in the comments, is frequent flyer in true VC fashion - There are 8 women in the photo. It's the trailer for the remake of the James Bond film "Octopussy."

Yu-Ain Gonnano continues his mysterious ways in the nine slot with "On Monday, the Russian State Department responded to the United States' stern warning over it's actions in Ukraine with nothing but this picture of the Russian syncronized swimming team.
US officials are still uncertain of its meaning."

Grim grabs the eighth spot with a truly *grim* caption, "Due to unexpected retirements during his second term, Barack Obama was able to appoint fully eight justices to the Supreme Court -- here pictured during the annual beach party that became their tradition just before the beginning of the winter session."

At number seven, spd shows his "Oink Cadre" cred's with, It's nearly six p.m., and only one of these women knows "what's for dinner."

And rounding out the first half of the judgement, a special candygram goes to CAPT Mongo for "Bill Clinton just dove in."

Pogue serves up a fine second half entre' at number five with "It wasn't until the middle of the synchronized swimming event that the unfortunate after effects of the pre swim burrito lunch materialized."

While frequent flyer hints at his many destinations flown to in his second appearance this week from the fourth place position - "The Synchronized Swim Team World Tour came to a tragic end when they were booked into a Pirhana-filled river in Brazil."

Melissa Fletcher combines the essences of brevity and the timeless saying, "A picture's worth a thousand words." with "Piranhas!!!"

And OBloodyHell takes us out on a waayyy too small boat, "Where the hell is that "Dum-dum dum-dum... dum-dum dum-dum..." music coming from??"

Our resident *Sybil*, a former european, claims the number two spot with "After his escape from Seaworld, Norman, the playful octopus, liked to goose passing swimmersby -- sometimes using all eight tentacles for a real crowd-pleaser."

And, finding himself in the number one slot by virtue his willingness to risk virtual life and limb (or, at the very least, a good knuckle-rapping by Sister Mary Bag O'Metaphors) in order to turn the Blog Princess' recent misfortune into prime snark is spd rdr for "Although it quickly proved itself a much safer alternative to traditional floor exercises, for bloggers and grandmothers Underwater Team Trampoline still took a bit of getting used to."

Longest caption of the week goes to George Pal and "(AP) In a stunning reversal of fortune, the International Synchronized Hydraulic Effervescing Federation (ISHEF) had disqualified the team from Nauru from competition for one year. The team had failed doping tests registering incredibly high and dangerous levels of phosphates. A Government spokesperson from Nauru denounced the decision insisting that linking the tiny island nation’s diminishing sole natural resource, phosphates, and the teams remarkable success smacked of racially inspired speculation.
The IOC, nevertheless announced today it had accepted the International Synchronized Hydraulic Effervescing Federation (ISHEF) bid to include the sport at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Brazil."

Most Trouble with HTML coding, but garnering a *AAA* for effort in triplicate (you were in the Army, weren't you!?) is frequent flyer's trio:
"Fresh from their success in forcing the reform of the health-care industry, the Obama Administration mandated reform of all athletic competition. In the case of water events, they mandated that swimmers wear "floaties" on their feet to prevent drowning. In this photo the tragic results of the ill-considered dictum are shown. There were no survivors.

By Executive Order, enforcement of the edict was delayed until AFTER the elections."
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:32 PM

Link didn't work--try again. this photo
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:35 PM

Copy and paste
Posted by: frequent flyer at March 5, 2014 12:38 PM

Also, obscure song reference props go to frequent flyer and this walk down memory lane - "Yet another theory was disproved Superior, it's said never gives up its dead when these bodies floated to the surface. Gordon Lightfoot was WRONG."

Well, that's it for this week, villains. Another caption contest pic will be up soon. Great job everyone, and congrats to the top ten winners.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:16 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

March 01, 2014

Caption Contest

I can't wait to see what you guys come up with for this week's picture to snarkify:


Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you!

Posted by DL Sly at 04:10 PM | Comments (55) | TrackBack

February 28, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Wellll, allrighty then! If I'd known Jimmy Fallon would cause this much of an uproar I'd have looked for something specifically a long time ago. There were so many entries this week, I couldn't just narrow it down to three. So, for the first time ever, there will be a top ten. Yes, the Dark Lord is feeling magnanamous tonight. I had the opportunity to gaze upon and judge potential lords of science - Darkness as yet to be determined - yesterday and enjoyed myself tremendously. So you lucky villains get to share in the good feelings.
Take it while you get it.
Now, to the judgement and old business:

Like last week, a reminder of our current caption picture:

However, unlike other weeks, and since this week is a top ten, I'm going to start at the bottom and work up.
So, let's get to it.

Starting off our list this week is George Pal coming in at number ten - "Jimmy prays To the Muse Thalia for an uncanned laugh."

Making his first appearance in the list this week (because he apparently had nothing else to do, but I'm not complaining) is spd rdr at number nine - "Oh no! " Jimmy thought suddenly, "Did I remember to bring the cat in?"

frequent flyer drops in out of the clouds at number eight with - "Afraid of the long list of possible side effects listed in Cialis commercials, Jimmy joined a group session that used the time-tested and all-natural method for erectile dysfunction.
The Therapist did her best. Though it worked for others, from the expression on his face--his body language--and his hands folded in his lap, it didn't work for Jimmy."

Ron F. rolls a lucky numba seven and wins Double Entendre points for - "Not gonna get caught gaping for Facebook and YouTube! Not gonna get caught, nope, nope, nope.
But it's so hard ...."

And a second dose of spd rdr rounds out the bottom half of this week's list at number six - "Her campaign for the Texas governor sagging following allegations that stories of her struggles as a destitute single mother were highly embellished, Wendy Davis took to the Town Hall circuit to demonstrate to voters her qualifications as the only candidate with actual experience 'birthin' babies.'"

And now this:

The top half of the list sees George Pal again, this time at number five with a vocabulary lesson in observation - "ennui
en-nui |änˈwē| noun
1. ...
2. a feeling of listlessness during a kegel demonstration"

While Grim is obviously still thinking about snow in Georgia at number four - "Hey Jimmy, how 'bout that weather we've been having, huh?"
"Yeah, it's been very... clear."

And frequent flyer, on a return flight, makes a fine three-point landing with - "In an attempt to bolster sagging ratings, and attract more of the coveted 18-30 demographics, Americas Got Talent added an adult-themed category."

Now I've come to the top two. And quite frankly, they're interchangeable in my mind. I love the petulant snarkiness of one, yet the imagery evoked by the other is snort-worthy everytime I read it. So, with that in mind...,

Coming in at number two is the ever-so snarky petulance of Yu-ain Gonnano's - "If you want attention, act like Miley Cyrus, they said."
You'll be popular, they said."

Which means this week's "Numba One" is spd rdr, who was obviously on a roll this week, with - "Madonna's nightmare never varied."

Obscure Movie references go to both ObloodyHell and frequent flyer for: (in order)

2016 headlines, Today:
Needless to say, the 2015 remake of Perfect, with Jimmy Fallon in the John Travolta role, though it was popular with the NY critics, absolutely tanked at the box office.


Did you ever see the movie "A Clockwork Orange"?
"Jimmy, having undergone aversion therapy, was sickened by the very sight of a beautiful woman. He couldn't bear to look at her--he averted his eyes......"

Well, that's it for this week, villains. You've been judged and, once again, found most hilarious. Congrats to the winners and thanks to everyone who participated for creating a fantastic week of comments.
Outstanding job.
A new caption contest will be up shortly.

Posted by DL Sly at 08:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 21, 2014

Caption Contest

After the last week's fantastic answers, I'm curious to see what you come up with for this:


Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you!

Posted by DL Sly at 04:56 PM | Comments (45) | TrackBack

Let The Judgement Begin - Double, Super Secret Edition

I know you think I've forgotten, but I haven't. I was just waiting for the VD edition to run it's course, as well as giving time for any other thoughts on the first picture, before moving along. As usual, you guys were on top of your game. This was excruciatingly fun.
So, on to the judgements and old business:

First up, to refresh your memory -

Again, landing in the number one slot is frequent flyer for "Save the planet!" (pant) "Save the planet!" (pant) "Save the planet!" (pant)........."

Second place goes to Yu-Ain Gonnano's "And here we have an example of the tiny equipment that typically gets laughs.

Also pictured, a racing scooter."

And, bringing up the rear, because she flounces oh so well, is our own Blog Princess for "Secretary Kerry! Is that you???"

That's the first of our double, super secret judgements.

And now, the second judgement:

Again, a refresher -
Chicken and wine.png

Appearing out of the mists of Mordor to snatch first place this week is Frodo with, "Angry after the other chickens ridiculed his beret, Clive took his bottle and left."

Second place goes to our ever-inventive spd rdr for "Jacques' long slide into dunkenness and debauchery began when Henriette decamped for America with the devil-may-care Road Runner."

And grabbing the last spot for this week is afe for his recruiting poster-esque "Is new recruiting poster pour la militaire Francaise! I want YOU to be le big chicken en l'armee de Republique!

L'amee c'est tres moderne, with latest beret jaunty styles straight from Prada and Hermes! Le kit standarde por le poilu includes cigarette holder natty, and le vin grande reserve, pour la esprit insouciant utmost!

Be the chicken biggest you can be en L'Armee Francaise!"

Best Walk Down Memory Lane, and also Longest Caption Explanation, goes to frequent flyer for "Maybe you have to be a certain age--but does anyone else remember Arte Johnson from Laugh-In as the yellow raincoat clad adult on a tricycle? The 5-second clip would always show him stopping and tipping over.

(Gary Owens)--'Here's the news ABOUT the news--without which it wouldn't BE the news--In the news of the future, Laugh-In was re-launched in a bid to save the failing NBC network. Here's an updated version of Arte Johnson looking ridiculous--practicing his old routine.'
Found a clip of Arte Johnson on his trike"

Best Obscure Political Reference Coupled with a Delicious Recipe belongs to spd rdr for "Security cameras picked up fugitive secrets-leaker Edward Snowden shortly before being was apprehended yesterday attempting to sneak across the Turkish border from Russia using a fraudulent French passport. Mr. Snowden is being "processed through normal channels" and will be "made available about dinner time" said government spokesman Tavuk Izgara."

And, finally, best Obscure Song Reference (and bonus points will be awarded to anyone who can name the musical from whence it comes), the Blog Princess', "Cluck, be a lady toniiiiiiiiiiiiight!"

That's it, villains! You've been judged and found most hilarious.
Outstanding job.
A new caption contest is forthcoming.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:42 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 14, 2014

Caption Contest - Special VD Edition

Given the Princess' love of this holiday, not to mention her lovingly written post on H.L. Mencken, it seems only natural to have a caption contest for the day.
Love is in the air, n est ce pas ?

Chicken and wine.png

Have it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 06:01 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

February 10, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Even in anonymity, DWS can garner proper snark. heh I have to say the Dark Side does enjoy getting these comments into the Inbox for regular giggles and guffaws. So, with that in mind, on to the judgement and old business:

Gliding in for a first place landing despite turbulence from raucous laughter over the Rockies, is frequent flyer for this truly prime snark, "When the Democrat "talking points" didn't come up on the TelePrompTer, Debbie was uncharacteristically speechless. She had no original ideas--nothing to fall back on. She had experienced that nightmare before--on stage--unable to speak--she clasped the microphone for security and inspiration, but it provided neither, leaving her mute in front of the crowd, unable to speak--her worst nightmare was happening..................."

Second place finds Grim and his YouTube classic standing alone, "Let me sing you the song of my people."

And last, but certainly not least in a line-up of great entries, is George Pal for: "Before I proceed, I'd first like to thank the
Leadership Council's Oversight Commission Super Committee Task Force on Shit Happens for this opportunity to fling it like a chimp"

Best Double Entendre (at least I hope it was 0>;~}) without knowing the subject of the picture goes to OBloodyHell for: "Feh!! Monica and her cigar. Just wait till they get wind of what I can do with THIS thing!!"

Nicely done, everyone.
And now, on to new business!


Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:12 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

February 04, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Slick Willy and Shillary. I thought, "What could go wrong with this pic?"
Even with this, y'all still managed to go places I never think of when choosing the next picture for the caption contest. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you, her commenters are what make VC, IMNSHO, one of the best *little* sites on the innertubes. (Which is a grand site better than being the site with the biggest tail....jus' sayin'.) So, let's get down to it, shall we?
On to the judgement and old business:

This one was tough, guys. For the first time, I enlisted help to decide the winner - but got's not like I asked if my butt looked big in these jeans or anything. However, after much deliberation, and another beer...

htom takes first this week with "Yes, Hillary, I remember."

And spd comes in a very close second for "What lipstick?"

Which means, landing in third place, but still on time even with the newest polar vortex rolling down, is frequent flyer's "Bill--one more "Bimbo eruption" and we'll be taking a walk in Ft. Marcy Park!"

Obscure TV (and movie) reference #1 goes to spd for "Why, thank you, Thing!"

Obscure TV reference #2 and Best Hijacking of a Thread kudos go to the Blog Princess (who doesn't often get to hijack a thread on her own site), aided and abetted by frequent flyer, htom, Rex and CAPT Mike for the walk down Jack Benny memory lane.

Most excellent, villains.
And now, on to new business!

DWS I.png

Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 08:38 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

January 27, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Again you guys didn't disappoint, but I gotta wonder what it is with the blondes. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but it is curiouser and curiouser. Enough wondering for now, let's see if y'all can keep it rolling.
On to the judgement and old business:

Our winner this week is our villainous pal, George Pal for what might be, in the old Match Game lingo, the definitive answer, "Defective Head Meat Institute. My name is Debbie. Are you volunteering or contributing?"

Close on his heels is our wandering Van Halen fan, OBloodyHell with "Quickly, the other workers there realized that working on the Suicide Hotline was NOT an appropriate job for Susan..."

And last, but certainly not least when there are this many great answers, is spd rdr for "Ok sir, just a few more questions. Your age? Ninety-eight. Your current health status? Six months to live... And your net worth? Really... Do you like blondes?"

Most excellent, villains.
And now, on to new business!

Shillary and Slick Willy.png

Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 04:23 PM | Comments (21) | TrackBack

January 20, 2014

Let The Judgement Begin

Dayum peoples! You guys really came out firing on all cylinders for last week's picture. I love when you make my job difficult, and this week was very difficult.
So, on to the judgement and old business:

Eliciting the biggest belly laugh this week is George Pal with "You make crazy eyes like this and say... 'what difference does it make?' Scares the bejeezus out of the nimrods."

Second place goes to our own inimitable spd rdr for expressing what everyone wishes for "Wait! What did you mean by 'Thanks for the signed confession?'"

And, grabbing a rare third place this week, is frequent flyer for "Hey, wanna see my Nancy Pelosi imitation?"

Excellent job, villains!
Now, on to new business!

Updated: Oh crap! I forgot my these!
Obscure movie reference props go to the Blog Princess for her sssscintillating [Hillary, channeling Kaa in the Jungle Book]

"Trussssssssssst in meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
Jussssssssssssssst in meeeeeeeeeeeee
Close your eyes
Trust in me.
[Hold still, please]"

And, obscure political trivia reference goes to Don Brouhaha's "Here, let me autograph that baseball. I once played for the Yankees, or I would have if they would have given me that minor league contract."

Now, on to new business!


Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:37 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

January 13, 2014

Let the Judgement Begin

Bridegazi! Oh wait, what am I thinkin'!? This is the caption contest thread...which is my not so subtle way of saying the innertubes ate my first draft post before I saved. Trust me, it wasn't much better than "Bridegazi!".
So, on to the judgement and old business:

Breaking the yellow tape at the finish line for the first (and hopefully not the last) time is our own Blog Princess for "[Boehner, to self] I'm less concerned about what he's wearing on his lapel than what's in his heart."

YAG claims possession of second place this week for "When asked about his expression, Boehner remarked that he was wondering if Obamacare covered rhetorically induced nausea."

Again, I'm afraid I've chosen a picture that didn't inspire enough comments to give an honest contest for third place. However, notice is taken (as well as a very large Huzzah) for htom's fashion sense: "Button-down collar, with a suit? Are there not Fashion Police to prevent such things from happening?".

Now, on to new business!

Shillary VII.png

It seems the stage is being set for the next "heir apparent" to the Emperor's *New Clothes*. Personally, I'd prefer she stick with the pantsuits.
Anyway, have at her..errr, it, peoples.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:08 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

December 27, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin - 2013...2014 SSDY Edition

Well, spd grabbed the brass ring right out of the box last week. What else can I say but, congrats and on to old business:

spd's "...and thanks for not leting his mom findout what happened to the roast beef last Sunday." was indeed prime, and for that he claims first place. However he raised the intimidation factor to the level where only three other people proferred an answer. (Lawyer, go fig, huh?)

Don Brouhaha took a shot, though (with what shirley seems to be the only thought in my dog's head), and takes second for "Tennis ball. Tennis ball. Tennis ball......"

No third prize this week as there weren't enough comments to warrant one. No worries, though. There's a new contest every week. (or so...)
Speaking of which...

To new business!


Have at it, villains.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:32 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

December 20, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin - Christmas Edition

So, only five more days until Christmas. Even though the VES has reached teenagehood, we can still manage to create enough suspense under the tree to have her picking up presents and shaking them in utter frustration.
Now, though, to old business:

In first place, right outta the box, is Don Brouhaha with, "The 9th Circuit Court decides another case."

Second place goes to CAPT Mike for the best of his "ballot stuffing" entries, "Jay Carney, Hillary Clinton & Obama describing the Benghazi debacle."

And last, but certainly not least, coming in third is spd for "The smartest guys in the room."

Special note is made of CAPT Mike's virtuoso impersonation of an Ohio Democrat voter. (I was going to say New Jersey but then I realized they're usually dead.)

And now, to new business!

Christmas is comin'....
Prayin' Pals.png
Have at it, peoples.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 06:14 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

December 13, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

Well, Christmas is around the corner. The tree is trimmed with decorations and ornaments collected through the years, and wrapped presents are multiplying underneath likes spores from a Steven King novel. The Christmas village is almost complete, so whilst awaiting the return of the ultimate Santa's helper, the VES, from school, on to old business...
To the judgement:

First place this week is relative new comer, frequent flyer, for, "We are gathered at this séance to communicate with the dead--the Democrat Party."

Claiming second place for the second straight week is Grim with, "All right, oceans: LOWER! LOWER!"

And in third place and a cloud of dust is Don Brouhaha's, "So I closed my eyes and raised my hands and Lo and Behold! There were millions of dollars in contributions from sources with no controlling legal authority! Coulda been God, you know?"

Very nicely done! I like the way y'all keep making this a difficult task each week.
And now, to new business!

Have at it, peoples.
And may the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:41 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

December 07, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

Again, apologies for the delay, everyone, but life happens. And because life still beckons (even with -1 as our high for the day and a -30 degree wind chill rolling in this weekend) I'll make this short and sweet. Besides, I know y'all are just itchin' to snark.

Now, on to old business...
To the judgement:

In first place, with is what is becoming a trend, is htom at the last minute with, "Michelle has already gotten him that for Christmas. You do not want to duplicate that gift. Think of what she'll think!"

Claiming second as his own this week is Grim for, "The good news for our careers is that, thanks to Kathleen, no one remembers we exist."

And rounding out the winners this week is CAPT Mike with this classic line, "When all else fails, a guy looks at his own shoes..."

Nicely done to all those who managed to awaken from the triptophan slumber long enough to form a coherent caption.
And now, to new business!

Shillary IV.png
Have at it peoples!
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:09 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

November 29, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin -Thanksgiving Edition

Thank you to everyone who made this week even tougher than last to judge. Truly some fine snark posted. Although, I must admit to disappointment that our newly-trained Padawan of the Sidestep, Elise, didn't join in, but maybe she'll be inspired by the feast of Thanksgiving and her husband's fettucine Alfredo.

Now, on to old business...
To the judgement:

So many great entries this week! It truly made my job extremely difficult, and I will say I was truly torn between several different comments until spd popped up with: "Oh crap. It's that woman from the Christmas party. What was I thinking???"

YAG captured second place for: "Obama has come to regret teaching everyone in his administration to look down their noses."

And this week we have a tie for third because, quite frankly, they were both equally snort-worthy. Grim's - "Whoever designed this seating chart is fired tomorrow morning." and CAPT Mike's - "Not now Kathleen, I have a headache."

Well done everyone. I love when the snark is so prime that the judgement is this difficult.
And now, to new business!

In honor of Thanksgiving and the many family gatherings enjoyed by all...except possibly spd.

Have at it peoples!
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 12:13 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

November 22, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

Boy, you guys really come out when Shillary is the subject of derision. No, I won't ask the question. I know the answer...why do you think I keep putting them up? 0>;~}

Now, on to old business...
To the judgement:

Snatching victory with the final comment is YAG with, "Despite repeated pleas for help, the fans of the beleaguered Lingerie Football League promptly gave up all hope for rescue after it anounced their first round draft pick."
Second place goes to AFE for his all-too-real-sounding, "Hillary was so excited to show off her "special" helmet that she can wear on the short bus to speaking engagements."
And sliding in at third is Don Brouhaha capturing the look of every person in the picture, "Look, I've gotten Billy's codpiece here!"

Special note is made for this converation:
Azrael Eshu - "Billy,
Here's your hat for your next set of comments on ObamaCare...."
Bill Clinton - "Uh, yes, honey, that IS what I meant when I said I always carry a helmet when we travel separately!"
Prime snark in the reply, I must say.

Finally, football reference props go to CAPT Mongo for, "Personal foul. Facemask. 15 yards from the point of the infraction." (Automatic first down. 0>;~})

Nicely done, everyone! This week was very tough. Thanks for that!
And now, to new business!

Have at it peoples!
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 03:16 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

November 15, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

I gotta tell ya, you guys are pretty good. Even if CAPT Mike did wimp out in the face of competition. *snicker* 0>;~}
Now, on to old business...
To the judgement:

Conveying what seems to be exactly what was said is spd rdr in first place with: Obama: "Policies issued in accordance with the Affordable Care Act cover a many more services than those "sub-par" plans that got cancelled. For example...Well, just tell 'em how big it is now, Joe."
Biden: "Heh."
Obama: "I'm telling you, folks, you're gonna L-O-V-E Obamacare!"

Starting our next conversation is htom's: "Joe, show them how close it was while she was shaking it!"

With George Pal answering: "'Big F*cking Deal' – missed it by that much."

Well done, gentlemen...and spd.
And now, to new business!

Shillary II.JPG

Have at it peoples.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 10:18 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

November 07, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

I have to admit I didn't quite know what to expect from last week's picture, (well, with the exception of "Hmmm... we are sensing a theme with these contest photos...") but you guys shirley didn't disappoint.

So, on to old business...
To the judgement:

First place, hands down, goes to CAPT Mike's "Dear sweet God almighty; I knew that girl in Subic bay!"

Coming in at second place with her self-professed, first attempt at lowering herself to our level (sure, uh huh) is Elise for "Troll dancing. It's not just for Poles anymore."

And, finally, confirming CAPT Mike's first place comment, is bud with "The soldier and the Marine left, but the sailor is still here. Thank goodness for long deployments at sea."

And now, on to new business!

Big Fucking Deal press conference.png

Have at it peoples.
May the Farce be with you.

Posted by DL Sly at 11:03 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

November 01, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

Well, I see what gets you guys *going*, and it ain't pretty.

To the judgement:
First place goes to CAPT Mike for, "The look on her face suggest it has batteries and she's just finished a free trial offer." (Yes, I have a dirty mind, who amongst us didn't know that?)

Second place goes to the ever-inventive spd rdr, "Alas, even the addition of the Queen's Royal Pen to Her Royal Smile could not improve upon the Queen's Dreadful Pantsuit."

Jumping into the fray at third place is htom with, "I don't need Bill now."

Yu-Ain Gonnano claims movie reference props for, "Bill, do you know the real reason the pen is mightier than the sword? It's because it's dull. It'll hurt more, you twit." (One of the best lines from that movie, IMNSHO)

And coming in with the most vaguely phrased comment is Da Boss with, "You guys are killing me... :)" (I'm still not sure whether or not this was meant as a comment or a comment, but, hey, it never hurts to sweet talk the boss.)

You guys really made it hard (heh, I said....hey, CAPT Mike started it!) to determine winners this week. Thanks for that!
And, now on to our next contest!

After the Princess confessed her early love of Troll dolls in the recent doll-themed post, I just couldn't resist....

Posted by DL Sly at 01:55 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

October 25, 2013

Let the Judgement Begin

Apparently the picture for the caption contest didn't quite get the Oink Cadre as excited as I'd hoped. Although, vet66 did spot the photographer with the biggest lens.
Still, there were a couple of snorters delivered. So, without further ado:

First place goes to our inimitable spd rdr for -
""And next up we'll be bidding on Dustin's Hoffman's head, body sold separately, of course."

Second place belongs to Yu-Ain Gonnano with -
"Despite the fantastic view afforded Jack Black, he seems more intrigued by the hors d'oeuvres Dustin Hoffman is sneaking behind the wall.

Mr Hoffman later explained to Mr Black, "These are not the hot buns you are looking for."

And, last but not least, third place to George Pal for his trip down movie memory lane -
"Psssst, tootsie... Tootsie! If a tree falls on someone in a forest does it matter if it's not on me?"

Those are the winners for last week. Hopefully this week's picture will generate a little more *excitement*.


Yeah, I know, cruel trick. But what'd you expect from a Dark Lord?
Have at it peoples.
And, no, I have no idea what that is in her hand, but I'm sure a few of you will come up with *something*. In fact, I'm counting on it.

Posted by DL Sly at 02:12 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

October 16, 2013

Caption Contest

And now for something completely different...

Angelina photobombed.png

Completely different in that, unlike our cream-cheese danish bikini wearing Princess, I actually judge my contests.
Have at it, peoples.

Posted by DL Sly at 04:37 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

December 03, 2012

Caption Contest Winners!

The winners of the "Oh Yeah, I *So* Went There" Caption Contest await your applause:

Snarkammando hits a single to First Base:

FFI:"Hohhmme, home of the duranged,
Where our private parts flap in the breeze.
And seldom is heard,
a clue bat's last word,
But the dog whistles blow in the trees."

TomG51 steals 2nd:

Whew. At least it wasn't a nativity scene on public property....
spd rounds Third base and heads for home:
The dangers of hiring cut-rate Chippendales to deliver your birthday greetings.

Honorable mention:

Yu-Ain Gonnano:

You mean I'm not having that dream where I've shown up to work naked?

And the winners of the MacArthur Park Caption Contest are...

[drum roll]

The indefatigable mr rdr:

"I stood in the rose garden and I told the American people and the world that we were going to find out exactly what happened, that this was an act of terror, and also said that we're going to hunt down whomever it was that left the cake out in the rain."
Sir Don of Brouhaha:
"Leaving the cake out in the rain is a false choice. As I have often said, you can't have your cake and the rain, too."

Yu-Ain Gonnano:

Barack Obama does not get wet. Water gets him instead. He *is* the most interesting President in the world.
Honorable mentions go to:


"$400,000 a year salary, a million bucks in book and recording royalties, and I can't swing by Target to pick up a @#$@ umbrella."


I think you can get in a quick 9 before the heavy stuff comes down
Thanks to everyone who participated!

Posted by Cassandra at 04:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 28, 2012

"Oh Yeah, I *So* Went There" Caption Contest

Wethinks they need to work on their messaging. What say you?

Posted by Cassandra at 05:30 AM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

October 30, 2012

MacArthur Park Caption Contest

"....and I'll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaaaain!"

Update: replaced photo with the one I couldn't find earlier.

Posted by Cassandra at 12:43 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

Moving the Goalposts Caption Contest Winners

After much hype and several broken promises (how appropriate), the long awaited Moving the Goalposts Caption Contest winners are...

[drum roll]

1st place:
Grim: "Oh, look, a softball!"

2nd place:
George Pal: ...and then I saw this giant chalupa in the sky... it was singing... singing "blame it on the boss with ova"

3rd place:
spd rdr: "Of course you can't see it. It's a divine teleprompter!"

Since there were so many good entries, we decided to pick a few honorable mentions:

Fire Marshall Bill: Move that halon nozzle a little closer, these slacks aren't flame retardant ya know...

Yu-Ain Gonnano: Alright Economy, just fall down, I'll catch you!

htom: As God is my witness, I thought Obama would be able to balance the budget.

Posted by Cassandra at 12:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 09, 2012

File Under, "I Can *Too* Judge Caption Contests!"

As promised, the winners of The Shadow Knows Caption Contest:

First Prize goes to that International Man of Mystery, Don Brouhaha!

If the Media sees the President's shadow at the first debate, we get four more weeks of propaganda!

The Double Entendre award goes to Eric Hines for:

"A shadow of itself after these four years."

And lastly for not leastly, a stuffed marmoset by parcel post to Purple Raider:

John Hancock 1, Barack Obama, zero.
Nicely played, everyone :) And try not to faint from the shock of this unprecedented event.

Posted by Cassandra at 03:12 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack