November 28, 2012
There are dumb ideas, and there are really dumb ideas.
As Superstorm Sandy hit our region last month, Marvin Lee Kingsbury and Charles Kent Bowers hatched a really dumb idea.
The really dumb idea was this: Let’s make whiskey sours, and let’s get a raft, and let’s float five miles down the Monocacy River — the raging Monocacy River — so we can go shopping at Wal-Mart.Bowers said they intended to drink the whiskey sours “like the victory cigar” when they reached their destination at Walmart. He said there were more turns and curves in the current than expected. Additionally, Bowers said he had not changed his view about the trip and would do it again.
“Absolutely, better boat next time,” Bowers said.
Better boat because on their first shot they used a rubber raft “rigged with a piece of plywood in the bottom and swim noodles for stability,”
And don't try to pretend you have not attempted similar feats yourownselves, knuckledraggers.
Admit it, peoples. You are jealous.
October 15, 2012
A Likely Obama Voter Speaks
"The government put the deer crossings there. They can direct the deer population anywhere they want to by moving that deer crossing sign."
...Right... and all these car accidents you had involved a deer after you'd seen a deer crossing sign.
Exactly. I mean, I try to watch out for the deer, but going 60-65, how am I supposed to, you know... you can't brake really quick...
It's the keen understanding of cause and effect that always gives them away.